The parents of the 2 teenagers who murdered Brianna Ghey

[Netball01]

I’ve been following the horrific murder of Brianna Ghey, and it goes without saying that her poor parents / family must be going through absolute hell.

But after the names of the 2 murderers being released today, it’s made me think how on earth do their parents ever come to terms with what their children haven done ?! As far as I’ve read so far, they are just normal people. I just don’t know how you could ever try and move on from this.

I hope your daughter is okay and has had helped to get over the trauma.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/scarlett-jenkinson-eddie-ratcliffe-brianna-32031184

It’s astonishing the women who support these slimy vile men- Serial killers get fan mail-
Something must be wert awry with women who make excuses for these abominations of humanity.

This kind of psychopathy is like cancer, there’s nothing you can do to stop it - it’s like a random mutation where a sick idea takes hold for no reason, and grows from there, out of the blue.

@effoffwind "The majority of parents continue to live and support their children , some who have committed heinous crimes"

Like you say, your children are your children. Very hard.

I haven't read the whole thread, but I often think about Lucy Letby's parents. Their lives have been totally destroyed.

I was at school with a boy who was killed by a boy I sat next to in history. Seemed a normal boy and family all things considered.

The family left the town. No idea where they ended up.

They don't get over it.

When I was a student I read a lot of books about the Moors Murders because it was such a notorious case. Hindley's mother remarried and changed her name but she became a recluse, never left the house, eventually passed away in a nursing home. She lived in fear that people would find out who she was.

Brady's mother was the same. She was widowed not long after the trial, wouldn't leave Manchester. People would bang on her windows and shout through the letterbox and she just hid. Her house was very close to the Bennett family home and so decades later, when she was frail, some of the grown family members would see her and hear about her although she didn't know them then.

God, this whole thing is so awful, I can't begin to imagine how anyone feels who is caught up in it!

As parents we can't know whether our kids could do these things, and how much is nature vs nurture. It's so unimaginable! I gather the boy has undiagnosed autism/ ND issues and maybe better parenting or pastoral support could have picked up on that and helped?

But the girl sounds completely unstable! I don't know if anyone should have been able to spot warning signs, or whether her parents have caused her instability or ignored it - only professionals can decide that. But it's beyond tragic that these two children could have made these awful plans and followed them through without anyone knowing.

That said - I stopped reading my two teens' messages a while back - I trust them, but where does the buck stop? I imagine the parents of these two never imagined their children were going to murder someone?

That's such a sad story. Its a life sentence for everyone involved because of a moment of madness.

Just googled that, and wow wtf

Kids can be born evil. Do read accounts of psychopathic kids it would be so difficult to have a child like this

I went to school with someone who's son stabbed another boy in the leg in a fight, he hit an artery and the boy bled out. They were both 19 .

Not the same as this obviously, it wasn't a premeditated attack and he didn't go out with the intention of killing someone but he did have a knife on him. His mum hasn't moved away but people made things very difficult for her for a few years and for her other children

I think you need to have all the ingridients to make someone kill like that which is a mix of genetics, intelligence and environment.

My brother is a textbook narcissist sociopath and I truly believe it’s.because he has inherited the worst traits of both my parents. It’s actually kind of fascinating how carbon copy some of the behaviours are. He also did some pretty shocking things even as a young child despite never being exposed to any violence at that point.
All the women on one side of my family are smart, successful, kind and very normal. The men always struggle and there is pattern behaviour that follows each generation. My brother and I grew up in the same conditions but experienced it at different ages. When violence came to our household I was a teen. He was a child. How we were then parented at those ages was different. My genetic make up and experiences has resulted in me being a normal, relatively well adjusted person with a loving family and good career and friendships. I know I’m an overall good person. He is not. Not even close.

A now ex partner to a relative has a son who murdered a child in a violent way. Before that he had been in prison for drugs. He and his sibling had come from an affluent background but his mum could do nothing to stop his self destructive behaviour with substance abuse. Paid for expensive rehabs. Her other child is sucsessful and seemingly very normal. Their entire lives have been destroyed - the family business collapsed as the media named them.

A childhood friend is in prison for a premeditated murder. He had lots of learning disabilities and again commited violent crimes as a child. His mum was a gentle and good mother but his father who he had never met was violent and she bad left when he was a newborn. He ended up mixing with other broken or vulnerable people when he moved away as an adult and violent and sexual crimes soon started. No one was surprised. He has two very normal siblings.

A family friend was jailed for sexual crimes such as indecent exposure. Turned out he had been raped by his father and uncle as a child. In this case truly a product of someone experiencing such violence and horror having their mind warped by it. These people I believe can and should be rehabilitated.

Could someone give more info on this? I didn't pick up on any of these references.

Sorry if its already been mentioned but the mother of one of the Columbine killers wrote a book about her experience if you’re interested in reading it: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Mother%27s_Reckoning

its such an awful thing to have happened to your child I can’t even imagine what Brianna’s mother must be going through, she’s been so amazingly dignified (not that there is any expectation that she should be.) She seems like an incredible woman.

I do feel for the killers parents too though, so many lives destroyed because of their cowardly and despicable actions. I don’t think they could have possibly known their daughter was capable of such a thing, even with events that went before. I suppose we all want to think the best of our children no matter what they do.

That said at least they have the luxury of knowing their child is still alive and may one day get out of prison. Something Brianna’s mum has not got.

Sad, tragic case all round.

I agree with this 100%.

Oh yes, a lot of people find Sue Klebold's books/talks objectionable and exploitative, and feel she fails to take responsibility. I don't know what I think about it, I don't feel qualified to pass any sort of judgement.

If people can be "born bad" - I mean, born with a pathological lack of empathy, a propensity to violence, even sadism - what do we do with them? We can't charge them with pre-crime. What would one do if one suspected this of one's child? I don't have any answers, but being interested in true crime its something I think about a lot. This is an old article, but I thought it was interesting https://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/13/magazine/can-you-call-a-9-year-old-a-psychopath.html

I blame the disassociation on video games. Total normalisation of violence from an early age.

The girl had what was clearly unlimited access to inappropriate websites and materials from a young age. I cannot describe that as good parenting.

I thought we left blaming "video games" for violence in the 90s.

Sue Klebold is a despicable woman who continues to insult the memory of her sons victims by revelling in the limelight and portraying herself as a victim.

. "I knew this child would bring me sorrow" -

She's most likely a narcissist.

She also downplays her sons role and portrays him as a submissive follower of the other boy, Eric. Dylan is jointly responsible for planning and executing 12 students and one teacher and injuring many more.

We shouldn’t, games are becoming more extreme. If you can rape or learn how to kill a person with a hunting knife in them, get extra point for shooting realistically portrayed people in the screen… well, it is definitely not the same as shooting asteroids or see PacMan being chased by ghosts.

BIL’s stepdaughter was convicted of murder. She has a lowish IQ and was prone to influence and impulsive behaviour. Her siblings are not criminals but they are a ‘rough’ family really, we’re not in touch. MIL spent a lot of time minimising the murder and victim blaming, which I assume was her parroting BIL’s girlfriend (they are close). She (murderer) was released a few years back, she lost custody of her children at the time of the crime and now lives hundreds of miles away with her prison girlfriend. I don’t think she’s ever shown remorse.