I hate myself and my size. Shock of my life. I'm a lard arse.

[BigKnickersSize18]

I got weighed last night. I'm 14stones 11pounds and 5feet 1 and a half. I should be just below 9stones. I'm embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I've had my head in the sand over this for a long time.

I have aches and pains and get breathless going uphill and flights of stairs. I look like a teletubby.

I'm doing the giving up for lent thing seriously this year. No sweets cakes fizzy drinks or rubbish for 40 days then I'll address it seriously.

I'm terrified it's going to be so tough.

wow that's some achievement 👏 fair play to you well done. an inspiration
as you say it's not a diet its a complete lifestyle and mindset change permanent

On the 15th January I weighed 14stone 4, I am 5ft 4.
Today I weigh 13 stone 10.

Not a huge drop but heading in the right direction. I want to lose 2 stone by my 60th birthday this summer.

In the last two and a bit weeks I have done the following.

Cut the sugar in my tea from 2 to 1 spoon. This will be further reduced.
Got rid of all the ‘junk’ food, not a single biscuit, cake or packet of crisps resides in this house and NO white rice, white pasta or white bread.

This is what I’ve eaten for the following meals.

Breakfasts - 2 or 3 Ryvita type crispbreads with a spread of butter with 2 eggs scrambled in a little milk OR 2 weetabix with a sliced banana.

Snack - small banana OR a hard boiled egg (it depended on what I had for breakfast).

Lunch - wholemeal tortilla wrap with salad and ham or chicken or a ham, chicken or tuna salad.

Dinner - I have first of all put my large dinner plates away and am using my late mum’s 1980’s blue and white pyrex dinner plates, they are a third smaller than mine. The rule I have is veg or salad must fill half the plate. We have also reduced our portions, so I’m cooking and serving less food.

We’ve had things like Spag bol, curry, Fajitas, etc…but the carb part of the meal has been halved and I’m adding extra veg to everything.

I WFH, three weeks ago there were days I did 3.5K steps, now I do 7K steps a day without leaving the house. Youtube and easy Zumba Gold routines are my friend. Sometimes I even just get up and dance or walk on the spot for five minutes every hour.

Plus, I joined a Line Dancing and go twice a week, 13K steps on those days.

I feel really positive about the change I’ve seen already, I have not weighed under 14 stone for 8 years.

@BigKnickersSize18 you are more than welcome to DM if you want some support, it’s easier with support etc. The very fact you know you need/want to change is the first step in the right direction.

Ah OP, don't hate yourself, there's really no need and it doesn't achieve anything. It's just weight. You're not a bad person, not stupid, not an idiot, not somehow 'morally wrong' or anything like that. It's JUST weight.

As for the weight loss, what works for one person, doesn't work for another. It's individual and you have to find your own way. Trial and error.

What worked for me was low-ish carb (not keto, now super low carb) + intermittent fasting + calorie counting (weighting and logging into My Fitness Pal). Lost bit more than 7 stone in about 9-ish months, went from size 18/20 to 8. But I'm a cold turkey/all or nothing person, very impatient. 'Slow and steady' doesn't work for me - I just don't see the point that way. I'm aware many people are different. Kept it off since I lost it, for about 10 years now.

Personally wouldn't go surgery/ozempic route at all. Just my opinion.

I'd aim for small habits over time which stay embedded, you want them to be permanent. The main aim should be to make yourself as healthy as possible, and weight loss will be a secondary benefit over time.

Definitely definitely don't wait until lent - you could make great headway by then! No time like the present.

I'd personally start by getting a couple of self help books, the right work out gear, and go for a morning walk for 10 mins every day before breakfast. This will get you in a positive mindset and increase the chance of you remaining healthy for the day.

The best thing I ever did was just stop buying junk food and crap, and I just don't have it in the house. If it's there I eat it, kids and husband have now got used to it not being around too.

I also ensure meals are planned, and i have loads of go-to snacks ready and waiting. Some ideas:

1. 80% chocolate (which takes some getting used to but now I love it and takes the edge off cravings)
2. Greek yoghurt or vanilla kefir and have it with honey and fruit as a snack.
3. Loads of fruit: bananas, apples, strawberries, mango
4. Nuts and dates

Some will say fruit has lots of sugar, but my belief is that it's better reaching for a banana than a kitkat!

Lastly, I just can't and won't exercise unless it's at an organised class. Get signed up to a term so you've committed. Something light like pilates is fab. I hate cardio with a passion so I just do a lot of walking instead to replace that.

I fall off the wagon often, but with all of the above, it's a lot lot less often that I used to, and I now maintain a healthy weight after being overweight for a long time.

My whole outlook is that I want something going into my body to be healthy and not overprocessed, so if I decide to eat my body in Greek Yogurt and honey then I do so and don't care about the calories, and start again the next day.

Good luck x

I saw a friend today, hadn't seen her since September. It was honestly the first time I've not recognised someone I knew - she's lost 3 stones in 4 months and looked amazing. Slimming World.

OP I absolutely understand how you feel, and I have been there. I did hate myself sadly and felt awful physically.

I don't know what triggered me off but I started at your weight and I'm now 5.5st lighter and a healthy BMI a year later.

It's definitely not a quick diet but a whole new way of life. I got interested in nutrition and listened to podcasts most days, re-educated myself and now it feels second nature. It was so worth it I can hardly believe it actually happened after years of struggling.

I could offer you a tonne of advice, but you need to find what works for you, you need to still enjoy food and find a healthier way of eating that you can keep up long term, it might take some trial and error, but the results will spur you on.

I lost 4 stone. It took 3 years. Dieting doesn’t work, you need to totally re build your relationship with food.

cook everything from scratch and get a calorie deficit every day.

its hard work, good luck!

NRTFT. Please just try to do whatever you feel is acceptable for you. I am 5ft2, and struggle to get below 9st, even constantly eating at or below 1500c per day. You will find a good balance if you listen to your body.

I know, I'm horrified that injections and surgery are now the norm.

Agree it’s insane. Shows the grip addictive ultra processed foods have on people.

If you eat healthy small meals exercise and cut out majority of the crap you get to a healthy weight and stay there.

You can't hate yourself into being thin OP. You can hate yourself into being miserable though.

Try to think of adding rather than taking away. So instead of "I mustn't have a biscuit, I'll have an apple instead", frame it as "I need an apple because my body deserves those nutrients" and have the biscuit as well. If you make a big effort to add in all the things that you really need, you will end up eating less of the crap. Partly because you won't need that processed sugar/fat/salt rush, and partly because you'll come to realise that you deserve better.

You won't see rapid weight loss this way! But it's a much healthier, more positive way to live your life.

This since the beginning of January I've lost 2kg which is 10cm off my waist. At my fittest I was classed as over weight yet a size 8. Aim to cut 500 calories a day. I actually eat my BMR which is closer to 1500 but aim to burn 500-1000 which gives me a steady fat loss

Totally agree.

I have lost 10 and a half stone over 3 and a half/4 years.

When I tell people that, I get told stories of how they know someone who lost ten stone in a year - but they put it all back on and so will I, apparently.

The difference is, I haven’t gone on a quick fix diet. I haven’t had alcohol, sugar, processed food in 2 years now BUT, I cut those things out over about 18 months. I educated myself on what those things were doing to my body. I don’t want them now. Don’t crave them, I don’t sit there thinking, “ooooh, I can’t wait until I am my goal weight, I can come off this diet and eat chocolate/cake/pizza again!” It’s just not going to happen. My life has changed.

Doesn’t stop people insisting that I will be back to where I started again as soon as I “get back to normal food” again though. what I eat now, good, fresh food that I really enjoy, is my normal.

Start now. Team RH. Learn to track calories properly , it will change your life.

I'll be blunt.
You can run through thoughts in your head of how daunting it all is, how did you get here, big plans, goals, apps, specific diets, particular timelines like Lent, getting support groups in place... or just start right now with the mantra "more movement, less eating crap".
That's it. You start today. Not this afternoon, but now. Just build it into your lifestyle, little and often is the best way to build healthy habits. Just more movement, less eating. Do this and things will improve. No need to over complicated it.

I agree ,definitely 'move more ,eat less CRAP' and NOT ' move more,eat less' which is so often trotted out. I actually eat more now but weigh stones less.

Could you try taking stuff up rather than dieting so

Walk more steps
Do some weights
Eat more protein say 100g per day minimum.
Eat more vegetables
Drink more water.

Start with these and when you feel less hungry as your appetite adjusts keep these up then start to think about calories etc

Absolutely. I train most days and eat more than I ever have. But it's clean food. Not due to some sort of self-inflicted purgatory or diet, but a body that's put some work in just knows what it needs to refuel.
Can still indulge in some weekend treats, but it's now the exception not the rule.
There's a whole industry out there making this more complicated than it needs to be - it's just looking after yourself at the most basic of levels.

Half of that protein would be just fine.

Pick one significant thing to change. I have up coffee because I couldn’t drink it without 3 sugars. That was a stone off right there. Then figure out the next thing - half your cheese usage in sandwiches, etc. Do you need breakfast or can you hold out until lunch and do a bit of fasting each morning?

It all adds up and you get on a roll with it.

Try not to beat yourself up. The supermarkets are full of addictive crap that should probably not have been invented. It’s not all your fault!

Hi OP, your stats are exactly the same as mine - I'm getting a gastric sleeve at the end of this month.

I've tried absolutely everything - diet & exercise, injections, tablets... calorie counting was the most successful, i lost 2 stone with A LOT of hard work - it never stays off. I'm sick of being like this - I have been my entire adult life.

I know a few people who opted for surgery and every single one has said its the best thing they've ever done.

I'd thought about it for ages but assumed I'd never afford it at £10,500 - I'm getting it on finance and it's costing £216 a month which was attainable for me.

For me, it is a last resort and vital for my health and mental wellbeing.

Just out of interest, so you get ongoing support after it?

I only ask as I know two school mums who have had WLS and I have spent a lot of time with both of them, says out at each others houses etc. The one thing that I’ve noticed is that their diets are still pretty bad. They can’t eat much but one in particular lives off a constant supply of small bits of chocolate or crisps or small portions of fast food.

The other has started to gain weight again, she also was eating small bits of junk food.

It just seems as if their diets didn’t change, they just carried on as before but obviously on a much smaller scale.

What are you eating daily? Does it just reduce appetite?

I get 3 years unlimited dietician support. There's also a huge community on FB of people at various stages in the process - a small few might have put 1 or 2 stone back on but managed to pull it back, and not a single one has put all their weight back on.

Plus I'm lucky in that I know people who have done it that are happy to pass on their advice, tips etc.

I'm very much aware of peoples' general opinion on WLS. If I could just 'stop eating crap' or 'just not eat all the time' I definitely would (and have in the past but it never lasts!)

Oh good luck with it! I know all too well that we all have different struggles with weight. I’d never judge anyone on what they do for themselves.

Thats great that you get three years support. I was only asking as the only few people I know seem to have carried on as before. It would be quite rude to ask if they had ongoing support or for me to comment on what they are eating. it’s just something I have noticed so I was interested.