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Original poster

Absolutely outraged! Train drama

217 replies

Halfull · 25/01/2024 09:54

So my 16 year old daughter was on the train going to college, busy service so standing. She fainted (as in full on dramatic woke up on the floor fainted), we don’t really know why. A nice lady nearby stopped her hitting the floor and helped her. However, she says all the men on the train stayed in their seats and so she sat on the floor the rest of the way into the city. Not one man offered her a seat although one of them did comment that he hoped her journey home was quieter so she could sit down! She said there weren’t any women sitting down anyway and they all just… sat there.

In the general sense of human decency, what the actual hell?

OP posts:
Bringonthesunforthewashing · 25/01/2024 09:56

disgusting behaviour.

I hope your dd is okay x

Whataretheodds · 25/01/2024 09:57

I'm heavily pregnant and notice that 9 times out of 10 it's a woman (or 3) that gets up to offer me her seat on the tube rather than a man.

(Yes it's obvious, yes I'm wearing a badge, yes I know about hidden disabilities, no I don't always need/accept the seat).

Naptrappedmummy · 25/01/2024 09:59

Disgraceful behaviour. The general public is of a very low quality now.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 25/01/2024 09:59

You don't commute, do you? you'd be amazed at what men can ignore if it means holding on to their seats. Pregnancy in particular has a noticeable effect on their eyesight.

Naptrappedmummy · 25/01/2024 10:00

In a similar vein my pram wheel got stuck getting off a train the other day, I called to a group of people on the platform for help and the only one who came to my aid was a lady who must’ve been in her 60s.

Original poster
Halfull · 25/01/2024 10:00

She’s gone back to bed. Bit of a temperature, we’ll see how it develops.

Thank goodness for the one woman that happened to be there or I don’t know what they’d have done - left her on the floor and stepped over her when the train terminated?

I don’t normally go down the ‘women are x and men are y’ thing but she said herself it was so clearly gendered…

OP posts:
QueenOfThorns · 25/01/2024 10:02

I commuted every day when pregnant and was only offered a seat once (that was by a man). At one point I had to sit down in the aisle because I felt dizzy, but still no one got up, male or female.

mondaytosunday · 25/01/2024 10:06

Appalling. I am glad to say my 20 year old son is the first to jump up and offer anyone his seat - the person doesn't have to be particularly old or infirm or whatever.
I was offered a seat when very pregnant in the tube, but when I was trying to get a pushchair up some stairs (broken lift) everyone just flowed on by. And if someone does offer to help it is usually another woman.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 25/01/2024 10:06

The entitlement starts early. A few years ago I was taking the underground to work - as we approached my station saw a pregnant woman standing, waved to her and pointed to my seat so she could take it. Some kid in his teens tried to slide in ahead of her and was told very robustly by me that that seat wasn't for him.

Original poster
Halfull · 25/01/2024 10:08

I haven’t train commuted for over a decade and I remember clearly standing on the train heavily pregnant too (16 years ago) so it doesn’t surprise me. But she literally hit the deck ffs, and who needs to keep their seat five minutes before they get off? Makes it worse that her dad is the type that would help unthinkingly though he’s not a commuter either. Dicks!

I am now going to attempt to channel my fury into something useful.

OP posts:
Heather37231 · 25/01/2024 10:11

OK, so there were only 5 minutes left of the journey by the time she came round?

And she was being helped by others.

It sounds likely that the seated passengers thought she was staying on the floor as she was too woozy to try to stand? And they were probably taking their lead from those assisting, who could easily have said “can we get this girl into a seat please?”

When things like this happen in a train most people tend to stay back rather than rushing in when someone else has it under control as they know that too many people being involved can be unhelpful.

thesugarbumfairy · 25/01/2024 10:16

It doesn't surprise me at all. When I used to commute (17 years ago now) I was heavily and obviously pregnant. (8.5 months) and there were some train issues which meant it was more packed than usual. I ended up sitting on the floor.

Original poster
Halfull · 25/01/2024 10:18

Heather37231 · 25/01/2024 10:11

OK, so there were only 5 minutes left of the journey by the time she came round?

And she was being helped by others.

It sounds likely that the seated passengers thought she was staying on the floor as she was too woozy to try to stand? And they were probably taking their lead from those assisting, who could easily have said “can we get this girl into a seat please?”

When things like this happen in a train most people tend to stay back rather than rushing in when someone else has it under control as they know that too many people being involved can be unhelpful.

Edited

Those are all fair points and make me feel a bit better tbh. Better than ‘just couldn’t be bothered’ anyway.

OP posts:
Wigtopia · 25/01/2024 10:19

Halfull · 25/01/2024 09:54

So my 16 year old daughter was on the train going to college, busy service so standing. She fainted (as in full on dramatic woke up on the floor fainted), we don’t really know why. A nice lady nearby stopped her hitting the floor and helped her. However, she says all the men on the train stayed in their seats and so she sat on the floor the rest of the way into the city. Not one man offered her a seat although one of them did comment that he hoped her journey home was quieter so she could sit down! She said there weren’t any women sitting down anyway and they all just… sat there.

In the general sense of human decency, what the actual hell?

Hope she is ok. If it helps, I used to do this pretty much 3 or 4 days out of 5 when I first started commuting. It also sometimes happened when I had breakfast too, but definitely reduced. Only thing that 100% helped was chugging a pint of water each morning between waking up and leaving the house - hopefully it was a one off for her, but worth encouraging her to make sure she is well hydrated. It’s a horrible feeling when you can sense the fainting is coming. Very sweaty, prickly skin and ears start ringing. Hope these suggestions help!!

SuperDopper · 25/01/2024 10:23

That really sucks, hope she’s ok OP.

Funny about other posters experience. When getting the tube, my experience was that it was always the men who offered me their seats. A woman only offered it once, and she was elderly and definitely needed it more than me!

One of the times that I was offered a seat, another woman rushed to sit down before I could, and pretended she couldn’t see me so that someone else had to offer their seat instead.

Janefx40 · 25/01/2024 10:23

I'm sorry this happened to your DD. Must be additionally upsetting when it is your child rather than you.

I have to say though, I've had 2 pregnancies commuting plus tube (most recently Sept-May last year and I have always been offered a seat, nearly always by a man. I've also travelled in quite a few times with the baby and always been helped and had men offer to take the buggy up steps/off the train etc. It gives me faith jn people to be honest (and I was banking on it because if any of you have ever been to Aldgate tube that is a serious amount of steps to get up and down!!!)

I do find tho that people don't stand for someone with toddlers or very young children - it's maybe not programmed into their heads the same way but you can't really have a 2 year old standing on a crowded train either!!

Sorry not everyone has had a positive experience tho

Heather37231 · 25/01/2024 10:27

I don’t think people commenting about standard seat-offering experience related to pregnancy etc are really helping.

This was a completely different situation, with different factors influencing people’s behaviour.

ConsistentlyElectrifiedElves · 25/01/2024 10:28

I slipped and fell on some ice a few years back. Fell flat on my front (though thankfully my, erm, built in airbags, are sufficient enough to save my face from the pavement). Was in a bit of shock at the manner of the fall, so took a bit of time to gather myself.

A lovely lady came running over and helped me up, while a man stood near me, having watched me fall, then staring at me like I was something he'd wiped off his shoe.

The lady that helped me even loudly commented that some people were very rude not to come to my aid.

Another friend of mine made the same comments about commuting when she was pregnant. It was always the same woman the stood up for her, every single day. They swapped numbers in the end and became friends.

YANBU OP - I hope your DD is OK.

MermaidEyes · 25/01/2024 10:29

Tbh that's a people thing, not a man thing. My Dd fainted on a busy train a few years back. A family stood near us helped catch her as she fell. Everybody else just watched. An older lady sat right nearby couldn't even be bothered to move her bag off the empty seat next to her.

Sanguinello · 25/01/2024 10:29

Poor girl. They were mean

saturnspinkhoop · 25/01/2024 10:30

Sadly I’m not surprised. I had a similar experience years ago. Hope your daughter is feeling better now.

OldLabMummy · 25/01/2024 10:31

My 80 year old MIL was complaining that she had to stand on her 30 minute bus journey into town to get her hair done. She goes during the day so the bus is usually quiet. I asked her why it was so busy and she said that it was full of scouts going to a jamboree. Not one of them (or the leaders) got up and offered her a seat.

Original poster
Halfull · 25/01/2024 10:31

I always found the tube to be ok for general helpfulness with seats though we’re talking a long time ago now. And thanks for the water tip.. yes she was rushing, she had skipped breakfast.. but now has a temperature so it’s looking viral.

Tucked up safe in bed now just glad I was around to pick her up. I am also starting to get over myself 😂. Ultimately nothing bad happened other than some discourtesy that could have been for a number of reasons, and someone helped so the world is not all bad.

OP posts:
Leftoversgalore · 25/01/2024 10:32

I hope she's OK OP. She must have been scared and shaken too.

My DH is the type that helps mums with buggies up stairs on the tube, gives up his seat and holds doors open.

I'm sorry your DD wasn't on his train this morning.

Leftoversgalore · 25/01/2024 10:33

And FWIW, my DS teen is under no illusion about how to behave in public too!