Absolutely outraged! Train drama

[Halfull]

So my 16 year old daughter was on the train going to college, busy service so standing. She fainted (as in full on dramatic woke up on the floor fainted), we don’t really know why. A nice lady nearby stopped her hitting the floor and helped her. However, she says all the men on the train stayed in their seats and so she sat on the floor the rest of the way into the city. Not one man offered her a seat although one of them did comment that he hoped her journey home was quieter so she could sit down! She said there weren’t any women sitting down anyway and they all just… sat there.

In the general sense of human decency, what the actual hell?

I think that is a reasonable possibility.

I have to say I find young men are really helpful on the underground, it might be because I remind them of their gran but I get lots of "after you" and "do you need any help with your bag." I do get offered seats as well.

Just wanted to add it is the young men who do this, say late teens through to late 20s. The older ones less so.

Generally I don't think men should give up their seat just so women can sit. We're all equal now.

But, everyone who is able should offer for disabled and pregnant people and definitely for a girl who has just fainted.

I fainted on the tube once when pregnant at rush hour. Men just stepped over me. Was rescued by a LU worker, bless him.

I now loudly call out and challenge people who don't offer to stand up for those who clearly need it
'Excuse me I think this pregnant lady needs to sit in your seat. It is one of the priority ones after all ' big smile. They can't refuse without looking like a knob.

Ignorant fuckers.

My DD (early 20s) received very sad news about her beloved Nan when she was in a busy shop. Crying heavily on the phone and afterwards and nobody said a word to her. I just can’t imagine behaving like that. Sad world we live in.

On my way out of work to begin my first mat leave, got on a tube headed towards the only empty seat. Young guy got there first. I said v loudly "Could I BE any more pregnant?" He was roundly chastised by nearly everyone on the carriage and at least 3 people offered me their seats. He did look suitably sheepish.

Having been both the person to help a fainter, and on another occasion the fainter, I think this is spot on @Heather37231

I commute and I'm always amazed at the number of men who will really aggressively push past to be first onto a train... and off a train, which is just bizarre

Funniest ever was on the District line during rush hour (so packed). Guy insisted on getting on at Gunnersbury with his folding bike, could we all move down, make room...he got off at Kew (next stop) leaving us all a bit puzzled as to why he didn't just bike it.

I have told people who do that that if they need to be on first because they need a seat, all they have to do is say as the train pulls in. There's no need to trample people underfoot or elbow them out of the way.

Unfortunately, in today's society any male offering their help could be accused of either sexual assault or grooming. I don't blame them TBH. There's no way a man would ever approach a woman, let alone a teenage girl and physically touch them, so that rules out any physical assistance. And had a man spoke to your daughter and offered a seat they may well be accused of trying to manipulate a "vulnerable" young girl.

It's sad that things have come to this, but it's understandable. And criticising "men" isn't going to help. They are just looking out for themselves. Had all the men there piled in and got "hands on" with your daughter while she was unconscious, or queued up to have her take their seat, you would have been saying how they were all predators and wouldn't leave your daughter alone.

Men can't win in this situation. Damned if they do, damned if they don't.

My friend felt faint on the train and asked the man sat down if she could sit as she felt faint. He said “well we couid all say that to get a seat couldn’t we” and stayed sitting. Next thing - she passes out and lands on him.

My only similar experience is a woman having an epileptic seizure on the train. I didn't actually see it happen but another woman got on the communication thingy on the train and called the guard. Before the guard arrived a man who said he was a paramedic came and looked after her - asked the right questions, did the right things etc. When the train arrived at Sheffield 10 minutes later there were people waiting with a stretcher to take care of her.

This is what should happen.

I'm not usually a "NAMALT" person but to some extent if we as women want equality then we have to accept the negatives as well as the positives

It's got nothing to do with equality and everything to do with fucking basic consideration for other human beings.

Thank god one person helped your poor DD, at least. But what a horrible experience. I note men had grabbed all the seats too. Rather depressing. I hope DD is better soon.

I am continually disappointed in men these days. I’m sorry if that’s sexist & I do realise it’s not all men but I can’t help having vastly more faith in women personally and in public. This story is very sad I’m sorry she was treated like that. Disgraceful x

Basic Consideration just doesn't apply when a wrong touch or glance could result in an accusation of assault. As women we don't have to really consider it, but men do.

But those men could easily have been accused of assault or grooming. It happens every day. Do you seriously think any man would go anywhere near an unconscious teenage girl?

One of my kids could not tolerate heat at all (turns out she has an underlying condition that means she has trouble regulating her temp), and even with water and avoiding crowds we got caught on the tube with her looking unwell. Several times she was offered seats (she was only about 8 ant the time), always by other women.

I did notice that people seem to be lost in their own worlds, zoning out on their phones oblivious to others around them (myself included).

Yes.

It ties in with the (often discussed on men's forums though not so much here) issues around trans rights. Lots of men (and tbf some women who care about men) are concerned about the potential threat that could come from women claiming a trans identity* to enter male spaces and then accuse them of assault/harassment. Whereas you hardly ever hear about women worrying about the reverse. Because men are under this constant threat they genuinely worry about all the time.

*of course not all transmen.

SUCH bollocks. I know that men worry that they're going to get accused of things, but honestly, this is taking it to extremes and is completely not true. And considering how much the press LOVE a story in which a woman falsely accuses a man, if this was really happening such a lot, trust me, we'd see it.

In this case, OP is suggesting a man get up and give a young woman his seat. Not that he does mouth to mouth.

Lots of men (and tbf some women who care about men) are concerned about the potential threat that could come from women claiming a trans identity to enter male spaces and then accuse them of assault/harassment.*

Then they should bloody well join the many many women who are not keen on trans people consistently getting access to spaces that are not theirs by sex.

Although, I've heard of plenty of men who claim to be trans and then use that to harass women in women's only spaces, but I've never heard of a woman pretending to be a man and then claiming she was harassed so I feel confident it's just more "but why will no one think about the MeNZ...." whining.

Absolute disgrace. I used to feel faint on trains when standing up - tendency towards low blood pressure, exacerbated when standing up in enclosed spaces. I always felt ok sitting down. There were times I’d have to sit in the middle of carriages in my work (skirt) suit. I don’t ever remember being offered a seat.

@JadziaD I was being a little bit sarcastic. Although I did find that the fact that all the manosphere "men need to be AFRAID of women's false accusations these days" types aren't concerned at all about this issue rather... illuminating. Almost as if they don't actually believe what they say.

I’ve fainted and worn a boot after breaking my foot and not been offered seats (tubes/trains). I did get concern from a woman. When I put on weight I was once offered a seat on the tube by a woman because she thought I looked pregnant!

Worst was a few years back, waking down a steep hill, white business man rushes past me with a backpack on that knocked me straight into railings outside Georgian houses there. Either he crashed into me and/or rucksack did. It was narrow and prob was on day bins were put out so even more narrow. Chipped a side tooth which bled a lot and really hurt. Had to go home and get emergency dental appointment. Didn’t stop to see if I was ok and I paid for private crown. Wanker. I have non white people push onto trains too (London thing?). Trains and tubes at rush hour it’s like a stampede.

This.

i actually found this pregnancy on London Underground men (particularly young “educated” professional 20 somethings… the sort that monitor their macros and go to Barry’s boot camp) would “race me” for available seats.

fucking bizarre and awfully inconsiderate behaviour

I got on a very busy commuter train once which is on the route of a tourist attraction we had visited that day. They were mostly men with mostly one person sat in each row. I had my obviously disabled daughter with me. There was seats but non together she can't sit seprerate to me.

I had to walk from one end of the train to the other to find us 2 seats together. People were saying oh there's plenty of seats just get 2 close together. No I can't not only does dd have seizures but she will also randomly squeeze the nearest person to her and not everyone is okay with that. Still nobody offered to move so we could sit together. I did eventually find some seats for us right at the opposite end.

I don't get why people are just so self centered these days.

I had to travel with my dd who had two broken arms and in plaster (long story, not even going there), and we had to use a bus shuttle for the airport. Granted it is one of those buses that has more standing than seating room.

When we got in all the seats were full, so we had to go to the standing area. But she couldn't hold on to anything, so I held her one side and I was holding the rail the other. There was a family with 3 children. The parents had the two seats one side and all 3 children had the 3 seats the other side right opposite the standing area. None of them offered to let dd sit on just one of the seats. Next to them, was an elderly lady, who saw what was happening and got up and offered her seat. We said it was fine thank you though and she should take it, but she wouldn't have it, even escorted dd to her seat. And still that family sat there looking at us, I stood with the lady for the rest of the journey. The children were early teen to 9 or 10 in age, so not a case that they needed restraining into their seat.

Is it not normal practice to teach children basic manners anymore? Tbh, even if they had just moved up, my dd could have sat with them in that row, but no.. An about 75 year old lady gave up her seat instead.

I hope you dd is ok OP.