Anyone else's daughter suddenly a Christian?

[daffodilDiana]

We are a family who are unsure about religious beliefs. My grandparents were Christians, although they didn't strictly follow the Bible. However, my parents are atheists. I feel comfortable calling myself agnostic.

Since she turned 13, my daughter, now 15, has been facing anxiety and body image concerns. To all of our surprise, she has started attending our nearby church, alone and spending a significant amount of time there. Every time I've popped in she's either by herself or with a few elderly people. Despite wearing a cross beneath her blazer, listening to Gregorian chants and engaging in bedtime prayers, she doesn't truly understand what being a Christian entails. While it's brought her increased confidence and happiness, she lacks knowledge about Jesus, the Bible, and Christian principles. She's told me hell isn't real, for example. I asked her about gay marriage and she said people can love who they love and something about Jesus loving all. Though I refrain from questioning her too much as it seems to make her content, I've also noticed her making judgmental comments about other girls' clothing choices, which I've pulled her up on, and i've been informed that Christian tiktok is tasteless and flashy. Isn't everything on tiktok tasteless and flashy?

She has a romanticized view of Christianity, but she's also more confident, working harder at school and generally more serene and polite. So while her newfound interest in Christianity may be just a phase, I'm curious about why it might be having a positive impact on her despite her lack of knowledge about it?

I'm a Christian and I don't believe in hell and don't have a problem with gay marriage.

I’d agree with the previous poster. I’m a Christian and don’t believe in hell and firmly believe that the CofE isn’t going far enough with its stance on gay marriage.

if it’s having a positive effect on her then what’s the harm?

Also a Christian. Also don’t believe in hell, also pro-gay marriage.

why are you assuming her lack of knowledge? What about her view of the religion do you think is romanticised?

From what you’ve said your daughter’s views seem perfectly coherent. I have worked for and been around church communities around the world for several decades - many Christians would agree with your daughter that hell isn’t real, in a literal sense, and that God loves everyone and the church should support and empower gay people.

You sound like the kind of person who likes to run down everyone else’s passions. The sort that wants a vegetarian to defend their life choices at the dinner table. It’s wearing. If being a Christian is having a positive impact on your daughter, why don’t you just chalk that up as a win and move on?

My best friend is a Christian, he is also a gay man getting married this year. I think religion can be open to interpretation.

I'm a Christian and queer. There are well-founded theological arguments in support of gay marriage in the church and many churches, including the United Reformed Church, the Church of Scotland, and the Methodists, approve gay marriage on a church-by-church basis. But also, she's a teenager, she's allowed to explore faith and not necessarily have a deep understanding yet. She might want to follow the Student Christian Movement on Instagram - she can't join in until/ if she goes to uni/ post-18 college, but they share useful information about Christianity in practice.

ETA you're right to pull her up on commenting on other girls' clothing choices though, she can dress modestly if she wishes but she needs to learn not to be judgemental of others

She seems to have a pretty good understanding of Christianity tbh

Has she found Christian teaching on line that chimes with her and helps her OP? Churches often put up sermons and services, maybe that’s influencing her as well as the local church. Is there a youth group she can join to meet more people her age who are Christian? It’s wonderful that it’s affecting her so positively but I can see how you would be concerned if it’s not your own belief.
Looking back on my fifteen yearself I think my parents got a shock when I did the same thing and thought I’d joined a cult. But it was absolutely life changing and I’m still a practising Christian today and very thankful to the churches and youth leaders who helped me navigate a very difficult upbringing and teenagehood. Experiencing the love of God through others was very healing, and set my life on a much better path.

I'm a Christian who also doesn't believe in hell. I belive in universal reconciliation. I also support gay marriage. My faith brings my peace and a strong community.

Could you ask to go to church with her?

The thing is, faith is a very personal thing. Not believing the Bible word for word doesn't mean you can't be a Christian. Maybe she's just figuring out what she believes and what she doesn't, and what's what in her own world view. This is a fantastic thing, not to blindly accept, but to question.

Incidentally, just going to church can be great - in my experiences they're very warm and welcoming places. I'm not surprised it makes her happy.

What kind of a church is it? What denomination?

She really needs to read the Bible.
Christianity is about word and faith.

Start with the New Testament - basically, the life and times of Jesus.

If it is helping her surely it is a good thing

Would you go along with her

I'm a Christian (church of England)

Don't believe in hell

Do believe love is for everyone

This is not unusual in modern Christianity

She’s 13! She doesn’t have a deep understanding of anything yet, because she’s only 13 and is still learning about the world!

Call out the judgemental comments about what other girls wear, but this really doesn’t seem like a problem. I am an atheist btw!

What's not to like? She is happier, politer to you and working harder. She's also a teenager ...and most of them are very judgemental one way and another. You can pull her up about unkind judgements about others and, in general leave her to work out who she is and what she believes. As she matures you could well find her views don't totally align with yours. Your own views don't totally align with your parents. And theirs didn't align with their parents. This is quite common in all belief structures. Just be there to listen, support and recognise her gradual development into a separate, independent person. You sound like an interested, wise parent. I am a 71 year old Christian and even after many years my views are still not static. I hope I am wiser, kinder and more tolerant now than I was when I was 40 years ago and I hope I'm still developing and learning until the day I fall off my perch. 😀

she doesn't truly understand what being a Christian entails.

I think you dont seem to understand much. What is your problem with this exactly?

Which denomination? Some are quite liberal, most are in the middle, one or two are borderline fundamentalist sects. We can't really comment until we know which one.

She is 13 years old. A core part of being Christian is understanding that this is a continuous journey and there is no expectation for an adult to understand everything, much less a child.

There are lots of things that could be helping her. The come as you are mentality, acceptance of flaws, community, less pressure around sex and image. The point is that it’s helping her. Leave her to it, there are worse things she could do than join the local Church. Also, don’t assume that her comments around other women’s clothing choices are due to this.

Do you have visibility of her social media consumption, in particular TikTok?

Ditto

Ah bless her. Finding god is a good thing for many people it helps them cope with life. I don't understand the issue? Would you rather her be out doing drugs and fighting like other teens

I'm wondering also what your issue is with this . She sounds quite happy and well adjusted. There are far worse teenage things she could be doing!!

I got involved with the church around that age though a friend, and was very involved for several years. I drifted away in my early 20s. It was a happy time and did me no harm at all, I can think of much worse things I could have been doing with my teenage years!

I think it sweet and nice. You say she romanticise it like thats a bad thing but i disagree i think that's the best way to see it rather than take it literal. Take the best parts and leave the rest I say. If all of society could be convinced to do that I think we might be better for it!!!

There are much worse things to get into. My kid was smoking vapes 🙄 told him his lungs would pop now he don't