Anyone else's daughter suddenly a Christian?

[daffodilDiana]

We are a family who are unsure about religious beliefs. My grandparents were Christians, although they didn't strictly follow the Bible. However, my parents are atheists. I feel comfortable calling myself agnostic.

Since she turned 13, my daughter, now 15, has been facing anxiety and body image concerns. To all of our surprise, she has started attending our nearby church, alone and spending a significant amount of time there. Every time I've popped in she's either by herself or with a few elderly people. Despite wearing a cross beneath her blazer, listening to Gregorian chants and engaging in bedtime prayers, she doesn't truly understand what being a Christian entails. While it's brought her increased confidence and happiness, she lacks knowledge about Jesus, the Bible, and Christian principles. She's told me hell isn't real, for example. I asked her about gay marriage and she said people can love who they love and something about Jesus loving all. Though I refrain from questioning her too much as it seems to make her content, I've also noticed her making judgmental comments about other girls' clothing choices, which I've pulled her up on, and i've been informed that Christian tiktok is tasteless and flashy. Isn't everything on tiktok tasteless and flashy?

She has a romanticized view of Christianity, but she's also more confident, working harder at school and generally more serene and polite. So while her newfound interest in Christianity may be just a phase, I'm curious about why it might be having a positive impact on her despite her lack of knowledge about it?

When I was a teenager I used to sneak out to church on Sundays and listen to Gregorian chants. Now I'm an adult I'm bisexual, Christian, think hell is being without God rather than some sort of eternal torture chamber, and work in a church where I am very happy.

Don't take her to a modern evangelical church with a thriving youth group and worship band, because she will hate it. If she's into Gregorian chant and old people churches, she'd be much happier in the sort of place where teens get to dress up and carry candles in the procession and swing incense around. And as long as you feel comfortable with the safeguarding procedures in the church she goes to, it can be nice for young people to spend time with older people with whom they share a common interest. You should probably check it out about more, though, just to be on the safe side.

I don’t know why people are continuing to take the time and trouble to reply here, the OP isn’t bothering to engage. Maybe that’s why her daughter took up going to church, so that she meets people who are responsive to her.

This is just such a lovely sensible and kind answer to the OP. I'm not sure she's engaging much but actually this thread has made my day regardless of that because of the way it's brought out a variety of progressive and thoughtful Christians into one place.

And I second calls to avoid evangelical churches with bands and alpha courses if possible!

I didn't realise that Christians don't believe in hell. I was recently told by one that he was worried for me because he knew where I was going 😂

Some do. There's a poster on the philosophy and religion board who likes to sporadically post videos about how we're all going to hell. It's quite twisted.

I'm quite saddened by the OP's failure to engage with the many people - including a Christians - who have taken the time to offer feedback and constructive comments. This is before we mention how OP has dismissed many of the congregation as "old codgers".
If this is a genuine post to start with then I'm maybe starting to understand about why your daughter prefers to head to church with welcoming people of whatever background than hang around at home with a mother who isn't prepared to engage with people who have a slightly different viewpoint to herself.

Out of curiosity, if there is no Hell, why did Jesus die on the cross? Why was he even born? I am a Christian and I do believe in Hell. Jesus talked about Hell all the time. Anyway, notwithstanding what he said about Hell, the emergence of Jesus within the context of the entire span of the Old Testament just cements exactly what he saved believers from. I don't know practising Christians who don't believe in Hell.

If you don't believe in Hell, why was the Gospel 'good news'? What separates Christianity from every other religion that tells people to 'be good?' I'm not looking a debate but I am curious. I can't get my head around this at all. I'm not trying to pick a fight at all, but am interested in how people who believe this interpret the theology.

I think you have a valid point but it's uncomfortable for most people

Most practising Christians do believe in Hell. The only 'Christians' I know who don't believe in Hell, don't really believe in anything.

This is such a great comment. Thank you!
There's absolutely nothing wrong with teenagers spending time with older people or enjoying simple, traditional things. Everyone is different and one person's Roblox is another person's Bible study group.

I’m an ex catholic and I love a good Gregorian chant! Life can be tough, especially as a teenager, and if spending time praying and talking to older people works for your DD I’d let her get on with it. It’s a lot better than taking drugs round the back of the bike sheds.

One thing that's come up for me as a Christian on this thread is the realisation that loads of people are walking past our churches thinking they know what we believe... and clearly don't! Walking past thinking well there's a load of old homophobic codgers (sorry for the paraphrase here) who hate gay people, 'follow the Bible' literally and think everyone else is going to hell.

Not even the most fundamentalist conservative Protestants think you go to hell for being 'bad' because for them salvation is about Grace not Works. And most of the liberals gave up literal ideas about hell a while back anyway so it's not relevant.

It's been good for me to realise these misunderstandings as something that is likely preventing Christian churches from attracting new members.

https://christianuniversalist.org/beliefs/
This explains why some people, including myself, don't believe in hell.

I think it is pretty rude to put Christians in inverted commas, because people believe differently than you do. I know dozens of Christians, including vicars, and very very few of them believe in hell.

@Darkdiamond
I'm a Christian without an inverted comma in sight and I don't believe in Hell and I DO believe very deeply in other things :-)

Maybe the "old codgers" (as you so insultingly call them) are interesting people, who welcome your dd, listen to her, engage with her...and are helping her find her way in her journey of faith.

One of the things I love most about Christian communities (when done well) is their ability to mix people of every kind together, harmoniously.

I think you should be much more supportive of your dd's exploration of what being a Christian might look like for her. There are much worse things she could be exploring!

I’ve never been to keen on sola gratia (and similar thoughts of school).
The focus many Christians seem to have on “the heart” and purity of faith (or thoughts) - and how this relates to grace and redemption - seems like it could be extremely damaging to many people.

I suppose it’s also due to the inherent value judgement one makes about works / good deeds (<=however one wants to define good).

What DO liberal Christians believe???

Out of curiosity, if there is no Hell, why did Jesus die on the cross? Why was he even born? I am a Christian and I do believe in Hell. Jesus talked about Hell all the time.

Gosh. Which version of the New Testament are you reading? Even in the very old (and appallingly translated) versions, Jesus rarely spoke about Hell. And actually the orginal word was Gehenna, which is something else entirely - a valley just outside the walls of Jerusalem, believed by many Jews at the time to be the most unholy, god-forsaken place on earth. You do realise that Jesus spoke in parables and analogies all the time so that people could understand the teachings.

And Jesus definitely did not die for Hell (no was he born for it) - Christians believe that the death and resurrection (you need both) are the victory over sin which created the new covenant by taking the sins of humanity on himself. If Hell actually existed and people were "sent" there it would be a monumental failure of the mission!

And I'd be utterly appalled at Jesus talking about Hell at all - Hell is actually an Anglo-Saxon pagan word. And as far as we can tell its origin came AFTER he died. The problem with the early Church trying to blend with pre-existing religions is that we didn't half import a whole load of crap - Hell, Easter, and Christmas for starters.

Now here is the problem for the agnostics amongst us.

And Jesus definitely did not die for Hell (no was he born for it) - Christians believe that the death and resurrection (you need both) are the victory over sin which created the new covenant by taking the sins of humanity on himself. If Hell actually existed and people were "sent" there it would be a monumental failure of the mission!

That para might as well be written in Chinese for the all the sense it makes to me. I respect your beliefs absolutely, and defend your right to hold them, but if you want people to understand your faith and potentially share it, then you need to know that none of this makes a jot of sense to millions upon millions of people; people who are kind, respectful and thoughtful.

My belief is this: no-one, absolutely no-one, has the answers to the big questions (notably why are we here?) and that this absence of knowledge is quite simply the human condition. I embrace that not-knowing, accept it and recognise the futility of trying to change it. Only yesterday scientists were talking about new evidence about the nature of the universe. Knowledge and beliefs change - just as "liberal" Christians have stopped tub-thumping about hell, drowning witches, hating gays, and generally being judgmental right left and centre; so our interpretations of what life means will evolve and change. Our beliefs in 100 years' time will bear little resemblance to beliefs now.

If I have a doctrine at all it is kindness.

'Hell' is not mentioned as such in the Bible (so no, @Darkdiamond, Jesus was not 'always talking' about it ). The Bible does talk about punishments, but Hell as a theological concept postdates the Bible by quite some time. I think people have always wanted to rationalise the problem of evil - they've always tried to find explanations for why awful things happen and why people who do terrible things sometimes seem to get away with them.

I think people misunderstand Christianity when they see it as a fixed set of ideas, not a journey with some signposts.

There was report by the doctrine commission of the C of E back in the late 1990 s that said that the medieval idea of hell as fire and pitchforks is just that, a medieval idea. So that is the official position of the C of E. No fire and brimstone. The report was called The Mystery of Salvation.

Several of my village churches are full of wonderful wise, rebellious pensioners who have a lifetime of caring for people. Some of them are gay. Most of them have LGBTQ grandchildren. Don't get between them and a digestive, but other than that they are a great group of elders for a teenager to fall in with.

@Mischance I have utterly no intertest in explaining to an agnostic in a way that they can understand it. Faith is not something you can understand if you don't have it. And I have never said that millions upon millions of people are not kind, respectful and thoughtful, or that to be so requires them to be Christian. Nor do I think that you can "catch" faith by getting an explanation. That was not the purpose of posting. I have even less interest in your belief or trying to explain or justify mine to you. I was answering another posters very specific point. That point was that Jesus did not talk about Hell all the time - or at all. As a result he did not get born or die for any reason connected to Hell.

I am not asking for you to explain anything to me.

I apologise for the delay in my response and want to say thank you all for sharing your thoughts. I have intentionally delayed my reply as I am consciously attempting to reduce my phone usage also, TBQH, I was taken aback by the intensity of the reaction to my initial post and may not reply again after this, mostly for the reason of limiting my phone usage. I read somewhere that the average person will spend 11 years of their lifetime on a phone!

I'd like to n just clarify that I am not fervently opposed to my daughter attending church, as I would not allow it if that were the case. There does seem to be a palpable restlessness among today's youth, I appreciate how the church may be one antidote to this.

My curiosity stems from a few things. Firstly, I never went through a religious phase myself, and my DD was not raised within a particular faith (though she did love visiting her grandparents and enjoyed midnight mass with my mum). Secondly, it's hard not to notice the sudden presence of "trad wives" online who are endeavouring to convert young women and girls to the "traditional" ways (as in 50s housewife) often by way of religion, while similarly, there are trad/alpha men advocating for Christianity and Islam. I cannot help but think this is more than mere coincidence.

Whilsyt I respect the positive effects of religion like coping with stress, hope and connectedness, and it does seem to be doing the trick thus far, I am uncertain whether it would be beneficial or detrimental for my daughter as a whole. I suppose I'm a bit stuck in this uncertainty. For example, will she abandon her budding love for science? Is this just a phase? Maybe it will give her protections, security. Maybe it won't.

Everything comes at a price after all.

I do find it challenging to reconcile the simultaneous belief in scientific concepts such as evolution, and the Big Bang with the acceptance of the notion that a divine man created the Earth in just seven days. I know that there are different interpretations of the Bible, with some adherents taking the texts literally and others perceiving God as existing beyond the limiitations of time. I also acknowledge the restlessness that has emerged in the Western world since the decline of religion, and don't have any resolutions to offer. I do not possess a complete aversion to religion. IIn a nutshell: I don't have a strong dislike for religion, but the Andrew Tates and trad wives make me cringe. My daughter also says she finds them unappealing, and I choose to trust her judgment that they didn't influence her decision.

I keep fixating on how we live in a contemporary era characterisd by phones, scientific advancements, contraception, no more borders, more freedoms, and other such things. And how does religion slot into this world. What does a world without Christianity look like. I am also apprehensive about the potential compromises that come with embracing religion, 5hough it may seem absurd considering my daughter's newfound happiness and contentedness. I cannot fully explain why I made the initial post; it simply felt as though we are standing at a societal crossroads, lacking a direction. I continue to enjoy Gregorian chants through the brick wall (not sarcasm).

You make it sound like she is doing something dodgy.