Things I simply don't understand- "proud to be married"

[TheNameIsDickDarlington]

I've seen this statement on a thread today which has prompted this thread.

There are many elements of life that I don't seem to understand. I don't do it on purpose or to be rude but there's some things I've come across in life that I simply don't understand. One of these things is people saying they are "proud to be married" maybe I'm not understanding what is meant by the pride in the statement but to me I just can't understand what's to be proud of? If I got a PHD I'd proud be pretty proud of myself, or climbed everest, or wrote a novel... but I just can't seem to derive any pride from a marriage. Am I getting it all wrong?

Other things I don't understand are:
-Adults "meeting" Disney characters at the Disney theme parks. Because you know its just someone in a suit being paid to wave at you and possibly wee themselves. I got or a bit more when they roamed the parks as it was like you'd spotted them so I guess it was like a game. When I went a few years ago you had to queue up, sometimes for hours, to see them. Why?

• worrying what strangers will think of... pretty much anything (something my mother seems to concern herself with a lot). Why does it matter if someone you don't know thinks, inside their own brain, something about you... you'll never even know?

So AIBU to not "get" these things? Also I'd be interested if there's any other things like this that just baffle some people, what are yours?

I felt so hacked off at the lack of a middle name (my parents weren’t terribly interested in me) and so I added one by deed as a present to myself on my 40th.

It was the other way around for us. We didn’t have a big wedding reception, just a meal and then went to a pub for a few drinks with some of the bridal party. Everyone was commenting on how my DH was beaming the whole night, he couldn’t stop smiling. When we were in the pub, he kept introducing me to people as ‘his wife’ and was almost crying with happiness 😂 Even now, he says he feels proud telling people I’m his wife so it isn’t just women.

I also love Disney. You either do or you don’t, there’s nothing to get.

The main thing I don’t get it people who post their whole lives on social media. Most of the time it’s fake and forced to try and get the perfect picture or wanting people to react. I don’t understand how it enhances anyone’s lives.

People worrying about being "judged" by others, whether you know them or not.

Do you really care what others think?

When people say "I'd judge you for that", we'll crack on, because it's going to have zero impact on me.

Might 🤣

Both of my parents were known by their middle names.
We children are all known by our first names😃

I understand being proud to be married (it takes a lot of work) and definitely having a baby. The time...the pain...the agony...the stamina...I would be proud to have created a person!

I don't have a middle name thank goodness. I've no idea what use one would be to me!

My sons are very very proud to be married to their wonderful wives. Proud of their wives, their relationships and their achievements.

I get this, I also don't consider marriage itself an achievement. Long, healthy marriages that take work and personal development to make happen, sure.

However I also understand being proud of things that you didn't work for- e.g. being a woman, being a nationality, etc. Especially if you face more challenges because of it.

I don't think your being rude. Lots of people say "we must meet up soon" actually mean it, but 50% don't. It's easy to work out because these 50% never mean it. They never set a date. But you don't know that when you first meet them. I have one friend who says this every time we communicate. I just say yes we must. I don't ask for a date and she doesn't set one. Weird.

Other people are receptive to talking about dates and turn up.

Anyway it's complex and they may or may not mean it. Confusing!

I've never heard anyone say they're proud to be married, it is quite a strange expression. I'd say I'm happily married or lucky to be married to my dh.

I think “proud” is such a weird word to describe being married. I’ve sat here for a good few minutes thinking if I’m “proud to be married” and I can’t separate the concept from somehow meaning something that suggests people who aren’t married are the opposite, which is clearly bollocks.

That said the few posters who are proud to have achieved a good marriage having never seen one modelled I find very sweet.

I think finding someone you want to marry is such a mad combo of random timing and chemistry that I don’t feel proud, just happy I found my person.

With you 💯 on the Disney characters 🤣

Sadly no longer true. Some of the wigs are shockingly bad.

But it’s just a biological process. You can conceive by accident and continue the pregnancy for lack of other options, or because you can’t face termination, or because you didn’t know! Plus I only did the beginnings of ‘making a person’ — I’m bringing up my son with love and care, absolutely, but he’s his own person, not something I made.

I don't understand how people can be together and have children but never get married. It doesn't make sense to me.

I don't understand people saying they're proud to be whatever nationality they are. It's not an achievement to be born wherever you're born.

I'm not proud of being married, but I feel proud to be married to my husband. He's a wonderful person and we have created a wonderful life together whilst maintaining our own lives.

We don't have to understand others all of the time. I also don't see the appeal of Disney for adults but I don't see the harm. I'm sure many would find it odd that I enjoy running and regularly run marathon length distances for fun.

I'm not proud to be married. But I'm proud to be married to my DH. I'm pretty sure he's said the same about me. I don't think at all that it's a female thing, many men are proud of their wives.

"It's even weirder when they talk about the team as if they are on the team. "We've had a really good season"/ "Aren't you playing arsenal next week?" Etc"

Definitely. Also something I don't understand - is football the only sport that when people say they like it, they mean they like watching it rather than doing it? I say I like kakaking and hiking, that means I enjoy participating.

I don't get wearing designer bags/clothes/shoes with the brand all over it.

I completely understand getting clothes or bags that look nice or are good quality - I just don't think anything with the brand plastered all over it looks nice and I suspect there are better quality items without the logo.

I also don't get why my DS enjoys so much the shitty YouTube videos of things like Niki and Vlad and the Soty Family. I don't get why anyone would exploit their children in this way and I've stopped him watching them now.

I also don't get how invested people get in the royal family or celebrities in general.

*I don't get wearing designer bags/clothes/shoes with the brand all over it.

I completely understand getting clothes or bags that look nice or are good quality - I just don't think anything with the brand plastered all over it looks nice and I suspect there are better quality items without the logo.*

Me neither. I also don’t get why people do up the top button on polo shirts. I’m not sure why it looks weird to me but it does.

To me pride is linked to appreciation. I've written 2 novels, I'm happy about that because it was fun, but not proud because I have no adoring fans or social kudos for it. It's just a hobby like any other.
I'm not proud that I had kids either, but I do feel a bit of pride when dd1's teachers praise her general knowledge, because that was me trying to answer her 100 questions per minute and I was so happy that it's actually benefitted her. Though again, I only got that feeling through outside recognition.
People who get compliments on their spouse might well feel pride. Doesn't happen to me though 😏

I have a husband and a PhD - the PhD was hard work, the husband was largely chance, combined with not being a horrible person.

Slightly different as I have a medical degree (plus postgrad qualifications) and not yet married to my king term partner.

I'm proud of my degrees, I'm proud of my academic achievements and having the strength to move away from my crappy upbringing. I'm proud of my partner for his achievements.

I'm not proud of being moderately attractive enough to attract a man and nice enough to keep him. That's just luck.

I also don’t get why people do up the top button on polo shirts. I’m not sure why it looks weird to me but it does.

And the top botton of blouses or shirts when they aren't wearing a tie. Looks odd.

Things I don't get: clubbing. I like music, I even quite enjoy dancing, but only for maybe 2hrs max, and not in the middle of the night! I can stay up, but only for something fun enough to keep the tiredness away, and getting my ear drums blasted out in a dark overcrowded room does not qualify IMO.