What age would you quietly think is young to have a baby?

[Bebebaba]

Times are changing and first time parents definitely seem a lot older around where I am. Myself and DH are quite young but would like a family. Just curious to know what age MNers would privately think was young, or too young!

26 or under

DS2 and DDIL have just had their first baby on Boxing Day. DS2 was 27 on Christmas Eve and DDIL will be 28 at the end of the month.

They have been together for 7 years, have been on multiple holidays, own their own home which they renovated together. DDIL is a deputy sister and DS2 is a charge nurse and is about to start his masters in advanced practice. I don’t think they’re too young at all.

My niece was 19 when she had her first baby. That was young. She is a brilliant mum, but it’s been really hard for her.

My MIL was married at 19, first DC at 20. That was the norm in her peer group. You were expected to get married and have DC. Wasn’t expected to do well at school or have a career. Marry your first boyfriend and have kids. This was in the 70s.

DH’s dad was never really cut out to be a dad, certainly not at that age. They divorced when DH and siblings were in their teens.

They lived down the road from parents, hadn’t travelled, left school at 15.

I look at DS who is similar age to them when they got married and wouldn’t want that life for him at the moment. And he wouldn’t want it either. Think that it was what people are saying by having not lived if you have a child very young. It was just expected then, even if the person you were with wasn’t really ready or the right person.

I certainly wouldn’t have wanted kids with the partners I had in my late teens/early twenties.

This.

I think 25-35 is the ideal decade but that doesn’t mean anything outside that is a disaster. But yeah, under 20 is really stacking the odds against you.

I think under 20 is young. Too young is someone still at school.

Under 25 unless you have zero aspirations (eg live in a small town, don't want to travel, average job etc). I think it's important to live your life a little and figure out who you are. Anything under 20 too young to make such a serious commitment.

People thought my DH and I were young to start a family. I was 24 when I fell pregnant and 25 when I gave birth to my first DS.

I think under 18 would be young, but not necessarily too young. I've always thought it's better to have your children either as early or as late as possible; if you've completed your family before your mid 20s then you're still young enough to be able to enjoy yourself travelling etc when they've grown up, or if you leave it until your mid 30s then you've had the chance to travel, have a hectic social life, and get yourself more financially secure before having children. In my case, I had my daughter when I was 35, after we'd been able to travel extensively and move up the property ladder to our forever home. I was considered to be much older than average to be having a first baby in those days. Most of our friends had teenagers by that time and I only had one friend who had chosen to have a baby at the same age as me.

Under 24. I feel under 24s should be establishing careers, having fun, developing a good relationship and saving a bit.

Under 30 is young? I had 4DC between 22-34, I'm now 50, I couldn't imaging having young kids and the threads of first time mums at 40+ fill me with horror.
Who wants to be 60+ with teens and all the uni expenses, it's great when they become independent and you get your life back when you're young and healthy enough to enjoy yourself.

Under 25, I think it’s better to have more life experience. I only know one person IRL who intentionally got pregnant under 30- and she was 29!

Under 25 is young
under 22 is too young

but really it’s not about age, it’s about having enough education and career experience to be in a position that you know you can support yourself and your child without your partner. If he or she has an invasion of the body snatchers episode and changes how you or the child are being treated, leaving has to be an option. Hopefully you will live a fairytale existence, but better to be prepared just in case.

If you are having a baby before you have a CV that gives you the power to kick the bastard out, then you are too young.

25 or under - just so much you'd miss out on, and the risk to financial stability is high

Under 23 - too young
Under 30 - young but ideal (although I understand these days everyone wants to travel, save etc - and it takes a little longer for this generation)

35 is my personal cap for having children. But as a mum who was young most parents were in their 40s.

biologically apparently 24 is the best age for having a baby (as my gynaecologist aunt kept reminding me at that age lol).

however mentally some people are never old enough and some people are ready at a very young age. some people are not ready but become ready after birth once instincts keep in.

but if and when I rule the world parents to be will have to take a course and pass tests before baby is born. also compulsory therapy for those that need it.

This is entirely situational. I think maturity is the most important factor for me. I am mid 30’s with a LO and I couldn’t have imagined doing this (being a parent) in my 20’s, when I still very much wanted to be having fun.

The most important thing, if you can afford it, is to educate yourself on the type of environment children need in order to grow and thrive.

Ps… any age under 28 I’d consider young.

Absolutely this.

Teenage years imo.

I had my first at 22 and my second at 23. I’m 24 now with two toddlers. I only feel like a young mum when other people react to my age and the fact that I have two kids. Do whatever you want OP. Most people aren’t phased

Under 25 but for some reason if DD got pregnant before her late 20’s early 30’s I’d feel a bit hmmm about it. I know thats utterly unreasonable it’s probably because it takes so long to get settled these days. Having said that my SIL had them early 20’s and has done a great job with her kids.

I think age is irrelevant it depends how established you are financially and job wise

26-29 is unusual for my area and social circle so I'd be mildly surprised but not have any negative opinions about it.

25 or under is "hmm, that's very young and I hope they don't regret it because I know I personally would have". If I met a new person in this age bracket, I wouldn't expect them to possibly have children.

Under 20, I consider categorically too young.

It depends on the person and circumstances, definitely.

Generally to me, under 25 seems young but can work.

For me personally, I wantrd to wait until I was 30 and had first baby at 34 in the end so I am an older mum. That was as I wanted to be a bit more financially secure, make sure ans much ans possible i was in a good relationship and to have time to establish a (small) career. And also travel a bit.

Under 20.

I had DS1 at 21 (and a day old, ha). He's excelling at school and is top of his class, has everything he could wish for and is a very happy, secure child. I am now 26 and pregnant with DD1.

My partner and I own our house outright (no mortgage), both have steady and stable careers. With that, I don't think it's so much the age but where you are in life.

That said, I owned no house, had no career and was half way through uni with DS1 when he arrived and it's still all worked out perfectly so just do it when you feel ready, given you're fully aware of what you're getting yourself into.

The biological "optimum" age for childbearing is 19. I'm aware that this is now a less than "ideal" age, but the complications that can occur and the subsequent strain on the NHS from older first time mums is pretty huge. IMO it's a shame how society has shifted so greatly to a degree that having children young is now rarely the best of ideas. I could go on and rant away but I'll leave it there 😅

Under 20 is to young. If you want one have one.