Autistic women assemble! #3

[Nepmarthiturn]

This is a thread for autistic women to connect, chat, vent, laugh, share and seek advice and solidarity (small talk and word mincing not required). 😊

Any autistic women newly finding the thread are very welcome to join us (even if awaiting diagnosis) but we'd be grateful if others could leave us alone please…

Previous threads:

1

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4777843-autistic-women-assemble

#2
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4865805-autistic-women-assemble-2

Happy birthday @RainbowZebraWarrior

Does anyone use them 'loops' for ears to cancel out noise? I am losing the will today. There is a guy in the factory under my office who has a few biker friends over and he is doing something with them but the noise is constant and absolutely driving me up the walls. I cant even eat lunch I am that much in overload here. I need something, anything as it looks like this will happen again.

Thank you Segway

I've not tried them myself, but have been thinking about it fir a while. I've heard a lot of people swear by them (used to chat a lot on thr ND Mumsnetters board)

There are many to choose from, but I saw giid reviews recently on some £20 ish ones.

I need some. I am murderous right now.

@Psychoticbreak these are the ones I've been looking at. I think I'm going to take the plunge before I murder one of the blokes in my street (performance levels of summertime power washing, hedge trimming and classic car vrooming) I am seriously ready to ram their tools down their necks!!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Loop-Experience-Noise-Reduction-Plugs/dp/B08T6HGDXR/ref=sxin_21_pa_sp_phone_search_thematic_sspa?adgrpid=78020584951&content-id=amzn1.sym.463b7ff5-5485-4078-b5dc-c8c41bfc1358%3Aamzn1.sym.463b7ff5-5485-4078-b5dc-c8c41bfc1358&cv_ct_cx=loop+earplugs&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.AokQWgGa5PiYDSm9L1SXrq3bM05Ty0he5rDu99k3j2MN4OaGsJnu4sfK-V8DUlvaNH6gc4JYTdu5l4LqlSoe3A.3zgkaG5ZSuZHPMO4YuahXh6w-Or-Jfo_sGuo5dbHaxA&dib_tag=se&hvadid=360007633333&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=1006948&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=8988931236539722933&hvtargid=kwd-399669513770&hydadcr=7587_1818795&keywords=loop+earplugs&pd_rd_i=B08T6HGDXR&pd_rd_r=a4a544bf-8edb-46e0-87cc-a1ee96e5a5bc&pd_rd_w=FdDrf&pd_rd_wg=Dq06s&pf_rd_p=463b7ff5-5485-4078-b5dc-c8c41bfc1358&pf_rd_r=7ZVBBHYPD7YY1962EAVP&qid=1716296658&sbo=RZvfv%2F%2FHxDF%2BO5021pAnSA%3D%3D&sr=1-1-ad3222ed-9545-4dc8-8dd8-6b2cb5278509-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfdGhlbWF0aWM&psc=1

Cross posted with the murderous thoughts.

I don’t use loop but I use flares instead and I do recommend those

Can you link to some please?

I'd also be very interested. I've had a Google, but couldn't find any with good reviews.

I've just picked DD up and she says ear defenders just aren't cutting it any more. They are having a wellbeing week this week and she's just had to ensure a garage of 'drumming' Apparently she asked to be excused, but the teachers are so fucking hell bent that she 'isn't isolated further' that they persuaded her to stay.

I know have a depressed daughter who's masked so hard all day trying not to get upset and is non verbal as a result.

Fucking school!

@TheShellBeach @RainbowZebraWarrior these are the ones I use. There’s different ones but I use the ones that are supposed to be for night because they’re softer for me https://www.flareaudio.com/

Can you wear both at the same time? HOnestly the noise was just unreal.

NTs just don't seem to understand that for autistic people, being alone is a good thing.

Do you mean wear loops and flares at the same time? If so, I don’t think you can but can’t be sure

Maybe ripping my ears off instead lol

I am currently on a 3 week course and I am struggling with the classroom boringness of it / change in routine from usual location and hate the group role play stuff

I just can't fake things or act - which makes me crap at scinareo based stuff as I am like - that's not realistic, they are ll like: just pretend and i can't

Ear defenders I use and they work 100% are

Finally got a call back from the GP and my paperwork is now being sent in for an ADHD and Autism assessment. Now all I need to do is wait (not my strong suit!).
I don't wear loops or flare as I don't like things in my ears, but I don't have to stay anywhere that's loud. DH is always on hand to take me home if I'm overwhelmed

I hate in-ear headphones. Maybe I’ve got weird ears or something because I just find them uncomfortable. And if I’m listening to music with them they just fall out of my ears. My father’s the same way. I don’t need ear defenders thankfully. My brother has AirPods Max (which are over-ear headphones) and they’re apparently good for noise cancellation. But they’re super expensive.

Is that an NHS Assessment, or are you able to go down the Right to choose path? (Sorry I don't know if you're in England) Did they give you any indications of wait times as on NHS I think it's still a couple of years in most areas.

NHS, but no idea on waiting times yet as GP only sent paperwork at teatime yesterday. I need to ask Extended Services or something.

@toffee1000 I hate in ear headphones too. I find them incredibly painful, but I was willing to try the in ear loops. DD has looked at them online this morning and said nope, nope, nope. They will either fall out, be uncomfortable, or both.

I'm ordering noise cancelling headphones instead.

Has anyone heard of waiting mode? I've seen so much lately on it, e.g you have an appointment at 2pm and you just can't do anything before it because your brain goes into waiting mode. It always seems to be associated with ADHD but I wondered if it's an autistic thing as well.

Also, hope everyone is well, haven't posted here for a long time, I'm so burnt out and really struggling with everything but have to keep up the pretense that I'm coping which is making things worse. I just want to go to bed for a week and not have to do anything at all😭

Hi @camelCase and sorry to hear you're burned out. Hope you cab try and find some time for yourself. I know that feeling of just wanting to go to bed for a week. I'm having an enforced rest day due to doing too much and my back issues have flared up.

I've never heard of waiting mode, but boy do I identify with it. Waiting for an appointment/ someone to call makes me feel physically ill. I absolutely cannot settle. I'm AuDHD, but I'd say it would fit with Autistic traits / play into anxiety relating to disruption of routine. In fact, I've always seen it as an Autism thing for me personally.

Has anyone heard of waiting mode? I've seen so much lately on it, e.g you have an appointment at 2pm and you just can't do anything before it because your brain goes into waiting mode. It always seems to be associated with ADHD but I wondered if it's an autistic thing as well.

This is me!! Whenever possible, I try to book appointments and meetings in the morning so that 'waiting mode' doesn't take up most of the day.

I've never heard it called waiting mode before, nor did I realise it was associated with ADHD.

I have a diagnosis for autism and a later one for ADHD. I still can't quite believe the ADHD diagnosis, but I was assured by at least 3 NHS ADHD specialists that the diagnosis is correct. I guess my inability to believe it is because my autism is my default setting and it's so obvious I'm autistic. Anyway, I've gone off at a tangent ...............

Thanks @camelCase for posting about 'waiting mode'. You are not alone. I hope you are able to factor in some time for yourself to rest/repair so that the burn out doesn't progress. Take care 🌻