Autistic women assemble! #3

[Nepmarthiturn]

This is a thread for autistic women to connect, chat, vent, laugh, share and seek advice and solidarity (small talk and word mincing not required). 😊

Any autistic women newly finding the thread are very welcome to join us (even if awaiting diagnosis) but we'd be grateful if others could leave us alone please…

Previous threads:

1

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4777843-autistic-women-assemble

#2
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4865805-autistic-women-assemble-2

I can’t manage with the in ear headphones either, only over ear and they hurt if I have them on a long time but the flares are silicone so they’re soft and don’t hurt but they can take time to get used to

@Clarice99 I identify mostly with my Autism, and it definitely rules the roost over the ADHD. I do very much feel the attention deficit side of the ADHD though (I can never sit still, or finish watching a programme and I fidget a lot / jig my leg up and down)

I think it can be a pain in the arse as well as the Autistic me is / was super organised organised, but the ADHD me is becoming more obvious as I get older and my health gets worse, as I now put off an awful lot.

I think it can be a pain in the arse as well as the Autistic me is / was super organised organised, but the ADHD me is becoming more obvious as I get older and my health gets worse, as I now put off an awful lot.

@RainbowZebraWarrior I'm very organised too, but when I'm not feeling good mentally and/or emotionally, things start to become less organised and I put things off because I don't feel quite able to cope with the task. I can relate about being age related and health related.

The psychiatrist who diagnosed me with combined ADHD explained that ADHD can be partly ND and partly a mental health condition (I don't know if this is true, but it made sense when he explained it). I have noticed if my mental health goes into decline, the ADHD is worse which then sets off a conflict with being autistic and needing order and structure, and ADHD throwing everything into turmoil.

Being old, I've learnt to manage the ADHD but sometimes the wheels fall off. I now allow myself time to recover from 'shit hitting the fan', something I would never allow myself pre-diagnosis as it felt like a weakness not being able to just carry on as normal.

I'm much kinder to myself now than I was 10 years ago and thankfully I can, mostly, recognise when I'm not coping.

Sometimes it can be hard to work out what’s ASD and what’s ADHD since there’s so much overlap. For example, the ASD part of me enjoys having a routine, but the ADHD part of me means I struggle to implement one myself. That’s partly what I liked about school, my timetable was set up for me.

Well, I finally got a letter about my referral and GP wasn't kidding when she said the wait could be quite a while.
Letter says the waiting list is in excess of 7 years! I'll be in my fifties by then.
I'll look into Right to Choose and dig out DH's BUPA paperwork to see if our BUPA cover includes ADHD/Autism.

Wowsers.
Can you afford to go privately?

Probably, we've got spare budget now the DCs are independent adults, I'm mostly annoyed that a 7 year waiting list is considered reasonable in a developed country.
Either the system is ridiculously inefficient or there are absurd numbers of Mancunians chasing adult assessments right now.

Either the system is ridiculously inefficient or there are absurd numbers of Mancunians chasing adult assessments right now

It's the same everywhere now. Here in Argyll & Bute there is currently nobody in post who can assess people.

A 7 year waiting list is appalling 😱

I'm so sorry that people have to wait that long.

I waited 2 years for my NHS autism assessment (by which time I'd paid for a private assessment) and a further 18 months for the NHS ADHD assessment. I thought those waiting times were bad enough.

SEVEN YEARS - shocking!!😡

Especially for conditions with main symptoms of inability to concentrate for long periods of time, and impatience.
Might as well have said "we'll see you in a million bajillion years" for all the help that is.

Yet another thread wanting to bash ND people https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5082302-why-are-so-many-people-now-apparently-autistic-or-adhd-or-both?page=1

Quite a lot of interesting push back on that thread, which is pleasing to see.

Stuff like the 'poor fragile neurotypicals can't cope with other peoples diagnoses' has given me quite a laugh.

The thread has now been deleted. I wish MNHQ had said in the deletion message that the OP was trolling / being inflammatory / abelist / disingenuous as was the case.

Instead, it said 'we've made a few deletions already and this isn't really going anywhere'

Call it out for what it is for God's make!!

I’m glad the thread has been deleted but it does seem one like that thread pops up every week or so

Oh for sure. Plenty of people were saying why start another thread, just grab some popcorn and read last week's abelist drivel.

Send help.
I rather foolishly clicked on this nonsense:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5082018-to-think-that-taking-sertraline-when-pregnant-caused-my-sons-asd

There is just no reasoning with stupid.

Just a thought. But it's quite likely to be the case that the OP in this quote has ASD herself.

I was on the first thread, then I dropped off MN for ages. Happy to have found you all again. Apologies for not reading all the threads, I'm feeling overwhelmed right now. It's nothing in particular, only ordinary life, but I'm exhausted. I'm undergoing a long term project to bring order to my home and clean up. There's so much mess I can't get to some of it to clean up. I'm trying to take better care of myself too. I'm not very well. So my post is mostly just to say hi 👋

You're probably right. I think I actually struggle a lot with those people who are potentially ND, but aren't aware.

It's the no posting history + AIBU that just makes me smell a rat though. I guess that's because we've been ground down by so many other AIBU threads relating to ND lately.

I'm stepping away again. I shouldn't have engaged.

Hi Lulu and welcome back.

I'm struggling with my house and have poor health too so I sympathise.

I'm stepping away again. I shouldn't have engaged

Same here.
I've deliberately avoided the many, many threads on here, and for some reason, I clicked on that one.

It was a mistake.

Hi Lulu - good to see you back!

There's also an "isn't everyone a bit autistic" thread on the go:

Autistic Traits in a Neurotypical Person. http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/5083119-autistic-traits-in-a-neurotypical-person

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !

I've been reading a lot about autism recently. I don't think people really understand autism, what it is, what a spectrum is, why it is helps us understand our own life when we realise that we are autistic.

It seems that much of the conversation around autism in the general population is about ignorance of the condition. People don't want to accept that autism runs in families and is associated with other neurodiverse conditions.

I don't think it is up to me to explain autism to all those people. Not that I could. I couldn't even explain it to a friend when I was seeking a diagnosis for myself. The friend was adamant that I could not be autistic.