If you’re neurodivergent, can you pick up on when others around you are?

[Naaarna]

Just interested. I feel as if I can. It’s made me wonder if others around me who I haven’t disclosed to can see it very obviously in me Apparently though neurodivergent people are more likely to be friends, partners, etc with other ND folk because they just understand each other well.

i usually can. i think sometimes they can sense it too - particularly with certain reactions to things. someone i know with adhd made a joke to me and i thought she was serious and responded as if she was. felt so embarrassed when i realised she was kidding but at the same time i think she knows im similar to her lol 😅

Yes. And I think others pick it up in me. Some of my ADHD students ask me if I am and when I say yes they nod and say thought so.

There is someone I work with who I’m sure has ADHD, she’s so classic for it in so many ways and totally oblivious. I don’t feel I can say anything to her.

Yes, I'm usually very keen to make friends with them, lol.

I also feel very out of place when I feel like I'm the only ND person in a group.

I had a very tight friendship group in my teens and we didn't run with the crowd.

As adults every single one of us has either been diagnosed ND or has traits plus children who are diagnosed.

My son’s teacher said all the ND kids gravitate to each other. He has ASD and his two main friends are being assessed for ADHD.

He clashes with my friend’s son who also has ASD. They parallel play and only communicate to boss each other around. For some reason he goes wild with his ADHD friends 😂 He’s more anxious around neurotypical children.

I think there is a 6th sense or something. I am not actively aware of it but I have been drawn to other autistic people over the years.

I'm drawn to other autistic people but find ADHD people very difficult to get along with.

Yes adhd gravitate to each other.

I can now.
my teen dd can.

we were very much in the closet when I was young. Being different was shameful and wrong. Even when we excelled academically, we still even had to deal with teachers berating us for being different. So we hid as much of ourselves as possible.

these days, it’s ok to be more of myself. I don’t have to mask as much as I used to. I definitely still mask, but more of myself shines through. I suspect others are doing the same. It makes it so much easier to find one another.

my dd has a huge circle of friends. I could never have imagined having such a wonderful, supportive group at her age. I am only privy to a few actual diagnoses, but I know the group is overwhelmingly, if not entirely neurodivergent.

Yes adhd gravitate to each other

I think this is so true. A couple of my really good friends from school, we lost touch not long after leaving, but reconnected on FB. We were in our 40s at that point and they have both posted various things about having ADHD. It just wasn't recognised when I was at school.

I started playing an online game a few months back and one time our "clan" on there were chatting and I think it was something like 90% of us have ADHD.

I think it's probably because I don't really have anything in common with most NT people. ND people understand things like obsessions, collections, hyper focus, impulsivity etc etc. NT people don't really get it.

DS1 (almost certainly on the autism spectrum - awaiting assessment) has only ever been able to 'connect' with ND kids. He says nobody else gets him and he doesn't get them!

Yes.

I’m an excellent masker but I’ve noticed that neurotypical people (especially women) tend to give me a wide berth I can also spot ND (although obvs can’t diagnose) - there appears to be a higher proportion of ND people amongst the very religious, very intelligent, very creative, or very struggling (addicts/MH issues). If someone is extremely ‘something’, they are probably autistic.

I would say yes. Either other neuro-divergents or people who are sympathetic to them.

I came to say this too. I can pick up on autism and Adhd very quickly. Easily get on with other autistic people, struggle to be around thoes with adhd.

Yes - it's sometimes as if there is an invisible magnet at work!

yes! Im always drawn to fellow ADHD people but some autistic people I find hard work.

(Including DP!)

I can usually tell if someone is ND as they are generally the only people who i get on with, especially ND men. I struggle with women even tho I’m female so may not spot them so easily

This but in reverse!

I do with kids 😂 i will be getting on really well, (i am normally awkward around children) and then the parent will say how they struggle socially and dont have friends at school.

Idk even if they dont say much, interaction just feels so much easier and i just dont feel stressed around them, even with my neice and she has ADHD and Autism, she will be a bit rough (to put politely) ect but it just doesn' stress me and i just feel i can manage. Half the time with other kids i dont understand the interaction at all and clam up. Its strange just like an automatic vibe/atmosphere i feel insecure or out my depth in.

(My LO still a baby so will see how i navigate birthdays and school events as it comes up 😂)

I don't think I'm ND but my daughter is. I can spot ND kids a mile off.

Yep. Haven't been wrong yet, I also have Autistic dc.......I've spotted it in kids as young as 8 months old (( obviously didn't say anything to their parents )) who went on to be diagnosed. Mixture of takes one to know one and birds of a feather flock together (( most the people I associate with are NT, even if some aren't aware. ))

ND. NOT NT. Don't know many NT folks.

All the time, I don't feel like I can say anything to them but if I feel comfortable and like I can fully be myself with someone I'll also realise on reflection that they are likely ADHD/ ASD. I have both.

Me too and also have an ASD DC. She says that NTs can sense that there’s something ‘different’ about her very quickly.