If you’re neurodivergent, can you pick up on when others around you are?

[Naaarna]

Just interested. I feel as if I can. It’s made me wonder if others around me who I haven’t disclosed to can see it very obviously in me Apparently though neurodivergent people are more likely to be friends, partners, etc with other ND folk because they just understand each other well.

Yes, this is how I feel too - having both Autism and ADHD - it's also the reason why a PP asked if she should hate herself (relating to this particular quote being someone who has ADHD and cannot deal with Autistic people)

I’m NT, but I’m an academic and regularly teach big undergraduate lecture courses — I notice that the neurodiverse students (that I know of) tend to hang out together and sit together in lectures.

Yes, my OH is ND and it's why we got together and have stayed together for going on 37 years now. Neither of us can "cope" with NT people, we both tried NT boy/girl friends back when we were teens and it just didn't work. We "clicked" almost instantly when we met as we were different and recognised the traits in each other. Back then, the terms ND and NT weren't really generally known, so we didn't "label" ourselves as such, but we both knew we were very different and that led us to do things together, spend time together, etc., which ultimately led to a relationship.

In my business, it's the same with ND clients - I believe I can spot them a mile off, not necessarily even having to meet them, but often just from phone calls, and sometimes even from email exchanges. I have to admit I prefer dealing with ND clients as, in a way, they're easier to deal with, as my business is all about the fine detail, accuracy, etc., which is what a lot of ND people are good at. By contrast I hate working with some more NT clients who are often far more blase about detail and it's often like pulling teeth to get the information that really matters out of them.

I always feel so worried and self-conscious when I read threads like these, as I'm diagnosed myself and have no need to be "out" to strangers.

Even though I sometimes can see traits in others, I wouldn't neccesarily be sure if someone else is or isn't autistic or ADHD. Many traits can overlap across diagnoses...

@KnitFastDieWarm what a great name for it! Those are the conversations I crave and they give me joy.

Agree. When I told my neighbour that DS had been dx with ADHD she started going on about ASD and seemed to believe that both conditions were the same. I felt a bit annoyed by that tbh, probably because DS has been getting picked on by classmates and called an 'autistic bastard' because he's not 100% sheeple like they are.

Such an interesting thread

@Disturbia81 @Sprinkles211 Can you say what you recognise about body language, way of walking etc etc?

I find the people I get on best with are people that have neurodiversity running through their family. I'm often not aware this is the case at first, it's not something I think hugely about. I can often quickly spot people who I would believe to be autistic because I've learnt so much from having it in my family. But it's harder to quickly spot spot those with dyslexia, dyspraxia etc - but I still seem to really gel with them. I wouldn't just assume though that I would definitely get on amazingly with every single ND person I ever met though.

Yes, I'm convinced we are drawn to each other.

We are a ND family, all with ND partners. Nephew is clearly ND. I can see it in our friends (with and without diagnoses).

Absolutely! I call it an A-dar 😂 it wasn't until I got diagnosed that I realised all the friends I've kept in my life are all ND somehow. There's a magnetic attraction I'm sure. We certainly flock together.

This is really interesting! I’m glad it’s not just me. For anyone who’s answered yes, If you CAN tell that someone is ND what are some of the things / traits you notice that make you think they are?!

Shame the discussion stopped there, was v interesting

Yup, instantly! Normally because we connect insanely fast and get on like a house on fire.

Same, usually I click really quickly with them and feel relaxed and like I don't need to hide who I am. It's like pattern recognition on a subconscious level because it's only on reflection I'll realise they showed ND traits. The main obvious thing is ease of communication and understanding each other without having to work hard.

My teen DD was diagnosed ASD at 8. She can spot ND a mile off. I suspect I may have ASD and am attracted to people who are diagnosed/suspect they are ND/have ND children. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with conversations about ND. People open up to me for some reason (apart from DH who is in complete denial 🙄).

Hobbies that seem to attract a high proportion of ND women I know include textiles (knitting, crochet, embroidery, weaving) niche genre fiction (eg girls' school stories, golden age detective fiction, fanfic)cosplay and historical reenactment, singing in a choir/playing in an orchestra/ folk music and creative writing/craft/ art. Also special interests in make-up and perfume. Also, to a lesser extent,martial arts and religion.

slightly different but what I would like to know is can sime adults that are neuro diverse be completely unaware they are only I am neurodiverses and very aware of that

It never crossed my path in life until a health practitioner asked if I'd ever been assessed for ADHD a couple of years ago. I was like, what now??!!

She said she was ND and in her opinion I was literally screaming ND traits.

I was assessed. She was right!

I'm more aware of it in other people now.

@UnimaginableWindBird Hobbies that seem to attract a high proportion of ND women I know include textiles (knitting, crochet, embroidery, weaving) niche genre fiction (eg girls' school stories, golden age detective fiction, fanfic)cosplay and historical reenactment, singing in a choir/playing in an orchestra/ folk music and creative writing/craft/ art. Also special interests in make-up and perfume. Also, to a lesser extent,martial arts and religion.

That's wild, you just listed all my hobbies!! I crochet, read fanfic and read AND write fantasy, I have belts in two marital arts!