I need a good talking to, bring me back down to earth vipers !

[GreenSilks]

I’ve been single for 6 years. Had one 6 month relationship in all that time. I have had approx 150 online coffee dates. I never fancy any of them.

In the 6 years I’ve just concentrated on bringing my 2 kids up, my career and making ends meet. I have a good life really, great family and friends but admittedly have been lonely for adult company. I go on holidays alone or with friends and am out most weekends doing sports or with friends.

All this is relevant as I don’t want anyone to think I’m just grasping at straws as I’m that desperate.

Anyway if I read on a thread on mumsnet what I’m about to post, I’d be rolling my eyes and jumping in with advice.

Here goes, 4 days ago I matched with someone on Tinder, there was an instant connection, and we went straight onto WhatsApp, at my suggestion. First red flag “instant connection” I mean what a load of shit, how can you “connect” with someone online??

We’ve talked on the phone a couple
of times, for 2 hours at a time. We laughed nonstop. It was just amazing.

Ok, second red flag …. He works abroad! I know! I know!! Although it’s 2 months away and 1 month home in the UK.

Third red flag- he’s 13 years younger than me! Tall, good looking and from what I can gather from the job he does, very financially secure. He has 2 young adult kids who he see regularly and an ex who isn’t a psycho.

Look I’m a veteran of on-line dating, and I’ve seen it all, but this guy I feel is 100% genuine! Although … 4th red flag I can’t find him on social media and I can normally find anyone!

Right vipers getting ready for the punchline. He’s home in 10 days and … I’m picking him up from the airport!

WTF! I am so excited, we’re talking about a future together. WE HAVEN’T EVEN MET!

He says he feels the same, he’s not gone as far to declare his undying love but he’s said loads of amazingly sweet things. It doesn’t feel like love bombing. He’s only (so he says) been in 2 relationships.

Wish I could enable voting on the App, but I’m being stupidly naive eh?

Should add, I'm in my 50's

There are scammers who are English and operate within this country. Lucky escape... he will stop pestering you as soon as he realises you passed him out.

Really thought that was his mate who supported Aston Villa

Why can't Villa Mate hear him talking to you?

Why is he living in a villa??

Only 25 minutes to go!!

If it were me, I'd promise to be silent and ask him to show you around the villa via facetime.

Let's see what happens then

Are we official saddos if this thread has been the highlight of our day?

Why does he have to make sure his housemate can't hear him talking on the phone through a wall?

Is his house made of paper?
Is his housemate actually his wife?

I've shared houses and never even thought to go outside to take a call. Very odd.

It might work out, or it might not. Don’t get your hopes up because until you actually meet you won’t know if there’s even any chemistry. If there is, you then have to get to know him properly. Don’t rush. Good luck, you never know.

Wait...why does he live abroad and what does he do for a living? Why does he come to the UK for work?

He's in the military, apparently.

Could work on the oil rigs. I know people who do this with the same schedule. They work in a different continent & go home to the UK on leave.

Haha i also assumed something Aston Villa related and didn't question it

Surely just go into your room to make a call it's not that weird and if it's not anything overtly sexual does it matter who overhears a chat / laughter? Why is that a problem

Honestly the biggest red flag for me is the fact that you're both talking about a future together, after only 4 days of long distance chat.

Not healthy, sorry, even if he's real.

I’ve only just started reading this but I’m properly invested now! Mumsnet regularly makes me realise how naive I am!

Could work on the oil rigs. I know people who do this with the same schedule. They work in a different continent & go home to the UK on leave.

Are there four bedroomed villas on oil rigs?

Wait are you still picking him up? Tonight?!

@BurntOrangeAutumn no they're just meant to be face timing tonight.

Good for you, just take a risk and meet him and see how it goes. But there are a lot of red flags (no LinkedIn is strange if he travels a lot for work, no SM is also a bit unusual but not massively, I'd be wary of the 2 months abroad and 1 month at home thing too - potential cover for a family somewhere).

But I stayed with my now DH for a weekend on the first time (and was 300 miles from home and told no one I was going) when we met in real (after we met online). Years later we are still together.

Oh my days just go to the OP and click "See all".

@BurntOrangeAutumn no she's waiting on a FaceTime call tonight

Keep up vipers!

He was in the military, but now works abroad in a military type contract. He works 2 months on and then comes home for a month.

He has a property in the UK which he stays in when he's home. I was asking loads of questions about leaving your home empty for 2 months at a time. But he said he had a cleaner who came in every week sorted his letters out etc. I was worried about the 2 high performance cars that's he got (of course he does) but they're of course safe in his double garage locked up.

I mean reading it written down. What a complete twat I am, to believe all this shit.

I am SO invested. You must update us before, during and after!! 😁

Ohh ok thanks I'm behind reading 😅

And this property just happens to be near you so you can handily drive him home from the airport?

Haha I didn't read that bit, catching up now!

@Begsthequestion

Hahah I think I love you ....

Oh my days just go to the OP and click "See all".