Unintentionally offended a friend

[bahhamburgers]

Shit.

So I’ve lost a lot of weight. I’ve got some quite nice bits that don’t fit me anymore.

I text a friend of mine today to ask if she wanted them. I said I had finally got round to having a wardrobe clear out and I’ve got a few really nice dresses if she wanted to have them.

She replied with, “great. Because I am fat? Nice.”

I replied that I didn’t mean it that way, I just wanted to see if she would like them as we have the same style and they were things she’s commented that she liked when I used to wear them.

Shes not replied.

Supposed to be meeting up with her and her toddler tomorrow. I just wanted to pass them on to someone, a lot of the stuff was only worn a few times.

She’s jealous

Wow. She's massively oversensitive. Feel for you.
Not sure how you come back from this other than to send another apology?

She is jealous of you slimming down and is now being mean. You did nothing wrong, but try to give a friend some nice dresses.

Don't worry OP - this sounds like her issue, not yours.. and she's implying you were 'Fat' previously when wearing those clothes. Even if you were larger than you are now, that's not a nice way to put it at all. Sounds envious to Me!

I don't think you've done anything wrong. She's obviously a bit sensitive about her own weight.

Not your most sensitive move OP but if she was a good friend she would have received the offer in the spirit in which it was intended.

Congrats on the weight loss.

Yeah, she's taken offence where none was meant. I'm not sure if she's worth it.

If she's truly your friend, she knows you didn't mean any harm. What a shit response from her. Her loss OP, not yours.

I didn’t mean anything nasty at all. They are nice clothes that I bought for a few events and I thought she might like them.

And I don’t think she’s jealous. I’ve lost weight as I was pretty much forced into change by a medical diagnosis which meant I had to change my life and eating habits. I don’t go on about diets or losing weight.

Really awkward that we are supposed to be meeting up with the children at a pre paid event tomorrow!

Oops

Just behave like it never happened

Are you sure she wasn't joking and just messaged it in a hurry and forgot to put haha at the end of it

Were you actually the same size? Sometimes perceptions are different and you may not have been/she may feel you weren't

It is a nice thing to do and can see why you did, but without knowing you shared a clothes size it is hard to judge!

I was much larger than her. I’ve lost 10 stone. These were clothes that I bought for some events about half way though that weight loss when we were the same size for a while.

Maybe she is sensitive about her weight and if she is you have potentially been insensitive. Maybe she's not as big as you were and is offended for that reason? Were you both the same size? How much weight have you lost?

I was much larger than her. I’ve lost 10 stone. These were clothes that I bought for some events about half way though that weight loss when we were the same size for a while.

well maybe this is your issue

perhaps you should have specified you have some dresses in size 14 or whatever

That's dumb, I was your friend in this situation and I didn't have a problem with it. Unless you called then your fat clothes then she's being overly sensitive. I guess these things happen though, so just try move past it.

Maybe she has not realised that and thinks you are offering bigger sizes. Its hard to know but weight is such a sensitive subject for people

Regardless, 10 stone is absolutely amazing, well done x

I do agree your friend seems very sensitive, but also, I can kind of understand. I wouldn't really like to be offered my friend's old clothes that she is now too slim for. Better to just take them to charity.

I would have messaged back saying 'that's not what I meant at all, but thanks for saying that I was fat'.

Think about it, she's actually insulted you with that message.

Oh I did. My original message was talking about a wardrobe clear out and specific dresses.

I wouldn’t have been offering her my old size 24 clothes, that would have been ridiculous!

So she knew the few things I was taking about. I should have made that clear in my OP.

She’s being over sensitive, and rude imo.

You did nothing wrong op.

Congratulations on your weight loss. That’s truly amazing.

A simple no thanks was all that was needs she a twat

Her reply to you was nasty.

What size are you now? If they are nice dresses, can you get them altered?

Wouldnt worry about the friend, she will probably forget about it all eventually

They were just from vinted (really good brand though and great quality- a vintage style brand that me and my friend both really like). Bought from vinted as I knew I wouldn’t wear them for long, so alterations would cost more than I paid!

I know how much she loves the style/brand.