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Original poster

How often do you speak to your mum / adult children?

105 replies

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 31/12/2023 10:11

Inspired another thread but I didn’t want to derail.

How often do you chat to your mum and/ or adult children?

I speak to my mum about once a week and my adult DD FaceTime once a week and a couple of WhatsApp’s during the week, but only if there is something to say. I have a teenage DS at home and I’m lucky to get a couple of sentences out of him a day when face to face, so goodness knows how much communication we will have once he goes to uni.

Those of you who speak every day/ multiple times a day - what do you talk about? If you can’t get hold of them does it make you feel panicked and isn’t that suffocating? Sorry, one more question - if you do chat to your mum or siblings multiple times a day how do you find time to get anything done?

OP posts:
Gymmum82 · 31/12/2023 10:13

Almost never speak to my mum. I might message every now and again but tbh it can go months between even those.
I don’t have adult children to comment on

Doggymummar · 31/12/2023 10:13

I try to call them every six weeks but not always. Haven't spoken to my brother in 15 years, no fall out just have nothing to say to him.

QuillBill · 31/12/2023 10:19

I FaceTime with my twenty year old university attending dd probably once a week but we text often. Sometimes loads of times a day. The longest we go is probably three days but that would be unusual I would say.

We text about things we've done or seen, funny things. Or to ask each other stuff. We are really close.

My mum is 79 and she's too busy to talk or text. We don't live near each other.

She is never in. We FaceTime once a fortnight on average. Text every three to five days. Again we are close.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Jingleeaster · 31/12/2023 10:19

I talk to my Mum every day. If we have nothing to say we dont say much, otherwise we have a nice natter.

Whataretheodds · 31/12/2023 10:20

Those of you who speak every day/ multiple times a day - what do you talk about?

I'm curious too - we don't do this but I know extended family who do. As far as i can make out there is a lot of gossip about other people. I know they've discussed my business in a way I don't discuss theirs.

YellowDots · 31/12/2023 10:21

I do a lot of my phone calls in the car on the way home from work.

QuillBill · 31/12/2023 10:22

dont say much, otherwise we have a nice natter.

I can remember Kurtain on 'This Country' explaining what a natter is but now I can't remember what he said.

What do you natter about?

RenoDakota · 31/12/2023 10:23

Christ, as if the pile-on wasn't bad enough on the other thread. That was a loving daughter, with a perfectly healthy relationship with her mother.

Iwantmyoldnameback · 31/12/2023 10:24

WhatsApp my kids when there's something to say, can be multiple times a day can be less than weekly. We are all close, just have our own lives.
My friends daughter phones her when we are out to say the most inane things even tho she knows we are out. I think she's very lonely personally.

2chocolateoranges · 31/12/2023 10:24

I phone my mum every night, sometimes it’s a 5 minute conversation other times it’s a 15 minute call.

i just phone her to see how she is, what’s she’s done that day and if she has plans for the next day. She lives alone, is 75 and the short phone call gives me peace of mind that she’s ok.

Original poster
OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 31/12/2023 10:24

RenoDakota · 31/12/2023 10:23

Christ, as if the pile-on wasn't bad enough on the other thread. That was a loving daughter, with a perfectly healthy relationship with her mother.

Which is why I’m asking the question here - she was concerned and didn’t need the bother. It is also why I didn’t link or refer to it.

I am genuinely interested as it is so different to how I live. No judgement just curiosity.

OP posts:
CrushingOnRubies · 31/12/2023 10:25

Message most days even if it's just swapping wordle answers with my dad.

They look after my dog most days when I'm at work so see them briefly at drop off and pick up. Spend longer with them every other weekend

Ratfinkstinkypink · 31/12/2023 10:26

I speak with my adult kids frequently, most days see us messaging each other. I don't speak to my mother much at all.

Original poster
OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 31/12/2023 10:27

2chocolateoranges · 31/12/2023 10:24

I phone my mum every night, sometimes it’s a 5 minute conversation other times it’s a 15 minute call.

i just phone her to see how she is, what’s she’s done that day and if she has plans for the next day. She lives alone, is 75 and the short phone call gives me peace of mind that she’s ok.

I do wonder if more frequent contact means you have more points of reference to discuss.

So a 5 minute chat every day mentioning Maureen from the post office, means you probably know who Maureen is. When less frequent contact means I have no clue and so I’m not really interested.

OP posts:
doodleygirl · 31/12/2023 10:27

Speak to my mum daily, always have no matter where in the world I have lived. DH speaks to his mum about 3 times a week. Speak to adult DD once if not more per day, that will probably increase now she is pregnant . Her partner speaks to his mum at least once a day. This is totally normal for us. Wouldn’t have it any other way.

IncompleteSenten · 31/12/2023 10:28

My mum rings me most evenings for what she calls her "night night call". I'm 50, she's 69 🤣 it's sweet really. She worries about me and likes to check I'm ok.
She asks if I'm ok, how's my husband, how are "the boys" (23&24), how's my cat. Actually she's asks about my cat before my husband 🤣 we exchange tales of how our cats have been furry little dictators that day and that's about it really.

My adult children live with me so we speak every day.

Ladyladylady · 31/12/2023 10:29

I’ve three grown up children all living away from home. My eldest daughter I speak to at least 6 days a week on FaceTime, she’s on maternity leave and lives overseas so I get to see my little granddaughter playing around, we talk about everything and nothing, it’s really lovely. If I don’t hear from her I don’t worry I know she’s out doing things. We can spend up to an hour a day chatting, if she rings when I’m cooking or chores that I can continue I just prop the phone up and chat away. I’m retired so I have enough time for this.
My son rings me every week on his 1 hour drive home from work, and FaceTimes every other weekend when he’s off work, he also lives in another country to me.
My younger daughter rings usually once a week, when she’s out walking.
Usually they ring me as they are busier than me with work, babies, activities etc, if I have something to share I usually WhatsApp them. I love hearing from them and what they’re doing with life, they all have very different careers and all live in different countries so I get lots of insight I wouldn’t get. When my mum was alive I spoke to her once a week, I also lived in a different country to her. Maybe because I don’t see them often in real life I speak to them more.

teenagetantrums · 31/12/2023 10:30

I speak to my dad about once a week and often we text inbetween. My adult children, my daughter and l WhatsApp most days and talk about twice a week. My son dosent really do WhatsApp, but calls me about twice a week. I think this is normal level of communication. Everyone seems happy with it.

Fireyflies · 31/12/2023 10:30

Phone calls for chats about once a week, usually at the weekends. Messaging outside this, which might me sharing photos or news articles of interest, occasionally practical stuff around plans to visit, etc.

hometimesanta · 31/12/2023 10:31

I don't speak to my mother.

Adult DC

Eldest will text back and forth with me about what's happening in her day; I update her about things at home. General chit chat mostly. I only see her about once a fortnight but we still talk as much as we ever did.

The other one who has left home only lives a couple of miles away and I see him 3/4 times a week. He isn't a texter or a chatter like DD is so we don't really talk unless it's to make our plans to go out. Usually I give him a lift into the city and we will grab a coffee somewhere before he goes off somewhere.

I think communication when they leave home has a lot to do with how your relationship was before they left. I see a lot of posters wondering why their kids don't even contact them yet they haven't had a close relationship through the teen years, so why would they? I have 2 very different adult DC and have always had different relationships with them, there isn't a right or wrong way to do this. I haven't heard from either of them today but I don't anticipate speaking to DS until tomorrow to make plans to come over for the NY dinner. DD however will definitely message me before lunchtime!!

TheScenicWay · 31/12/2023 10:31

Mum - twice a week. WhatsApp contact as well. She's in one of our family group chats so we send pics and share general news
Siblings are on there too.

Siblings - chat to sister twice a week too. Db not that often.

Teens - chat daily

I'll have really long telephone conversations at times but I often call them if I'm dusting, tidying or cleaning. It makes the dullest of tasks easier to cope with. Sometimes I call if I'm going for a walk.

I don't get panicky if I can't get hold of them as I know they're busy. The times I have needed to panic, I got a call.

The conversations are mostly around what we've been up to, how everyone is, issues we're having. We can also end up talking about the price of food (dm loves that convo!), uk and world politics, philosophy and anything really.

Permanentlyunimpressed · 31/12/2023 10:34

Speak to my mum about once a week. She used to call/text multiple times a day which stressed me out so I had to say something. I don't enjoy our calls anymore as she just moans and bitches, it's a chore, sad really.
Teen ds at home, he's not quite as mute as some teen boys and usually spends a good 30 minutes chatting with me most evenings, sometimes longer!

OpalOrchid · 31/12/2023 10:35

I speak on the phone or whatapp at least one of my adult DCs most days. Sometimes speak a few times if there's stuff going on. It just seems natural to me. My mum is dead but as she got older I kept in daily contact.

Struthless · 31/12/2023 10:36

We're in pretty much constant contact via whatsapp and then will call each other every few days. We're actually good friends, I don't contact my friend-friends anywhere near as much as I do her. We like to update each other with life developments, share jokes and opinions. She's the 2nd person i go to with problems after DP - I worry what I'll do without her tbh. We live 2hrs apart but will visit each other every few weeks.

sawnotseen · 31/12/2023 10:37

Elderly mum and dad (still together) twice a day. Adult children messages every day/couple of days but only actually speak once a week (DD) and less so DS. Family WhatsApp is active with all of us - mum dad sister neices nephews, their parents, my adult DC and their partners so messages frequently, every day. It's lovely that my elderly parents are so involved in their grand children's and great granddaughters lives.