How often do you speak to your mum / adult children?

[OhBeAFineGuyKissMe]

Inspired another thread but I didn’t want to derail.

How often do you chat to your mum and/ or adult children?

I speak to my mum about once a week and my adult DD FaceTime once a week and a couple of WhatsApp’s during the week, but only if there is something to say. I have a teenage DS at home and I’m lucky to get a couple of sentences out of him a day when face to face, so goodness knows how much communication we will have once he goes to uni.

Those of you who speak every day/ multiple times a day - what do you talk about? If you can’t get hold of them does it make you feel panicked and isn’t that suffocating? Sorry, one more question - if you do chat to your mum or siblings multiple times a day how do you find time to get anything done?

Once or twice a day for me. Just 10-15 mins. I'm a carer for my son and work part time so I have time at home.

We chat about life, news, our family business.

I love speaking to my mum. I would miss her if we didn't speak regularly.

I used to speak to my mum every week or so but when she died earlier this year I realised how much I miss her. Since then I speak to my dad at least once or twice per week. Doesn’t have to be lots of interesting things but I value the chat so much more.

I speak to my mum every day, several times per day often. My mum is my best friend.

Family WhatsApp so we all say morning then chat through the day whoever is around.

We speak about our day/stresses/gossip/funny stories etc. just anything I would speak to my friends about - minus sex.

Since my Dad (85) was widowed a couple of years ago, I ring him daily, because I’m his emotional rock. He lives in assisted living so he’s not alone, but he feels that he can share everything with me.

DD (18) is at uni and we text most days. Sometimes it’s just to say hi, hope you’re having a good day. She calls once a week or so but often just for a few mins. Poor DH thought that we’d be having weekly family Zoom chats but she doesn’t seem to need them-so we make do with knowing that she’s alive and well, before she says that she’s going out with her friends so can’t chat for long. 🤣

I don't have my mum anymore but I speak to my MIL most days. And my dad

I use to see my mum once a week and ring her once a week.

My two adult dd split their time between mine and bfs parents so they are both here 50% of time currently but when they were at uni we usually messaged or chattered 4/5 times a week

We don't always call but we do text most days, that's my mum and 2 adult ds'

Every day via the family WhatsApp. We also call each other a few times a week. My parents and ILs are dead but it was every 2-3 days when they were here.

I speak to my mum at least once a week, sometimes 2 or 3 times.

DM, once every few months, my DC, it varies, DS1- every few days message, DS2, every couple of weeks, DD every few days or once a week. All depends on their and my work shifts.

My mum and dad. Once every few months.
Both adult sons virtually every day. They don't live with us.

I call my mom twice in the week, and visit every weekend. 1 adult DC I WhatsApp nearly every day and video call every weekend. He lives abroad. Other DC are happy with WhatsApp every few days and are less keen on video or phone calls but know they can call anytime.

I used to speak to my mum almost daily, often for hours; on my way to / from work, after kids' bedtime.

I thought we were close.

I realised fairly belatedly that she's not nice to me at all; she's got worse since my DF died & was remarkably cruel to me as I was dealing with the aftermath of my abusive marriage & divorce.

It's been painful deciding to contact her less, and I finish the call if she's being mean. There's no point in addressing it with her - she won't change. I still speak to her once a week, text in between. If she's being awful, I'll ring her but won't keep chasing her; it's up to her to call me.

My eldest is 16 so not at adult DC stage but it feels very imminent! My DD & I are in touch loads though, she's always messaging me during the day / after school when I'm in work.

I love this.

Our family WhatsApp (siblings + outlaws) is barely used since I pulled back from them. I realised I was the one doing most of the initiation of conversations.

When my DP’s were alive I’d call them a couple of times a week to make sure they’re ok or to ask if they needed anything. They called me about once a week just to ask about everyone or if they needed me to pick something up for them.

Adult DC - I see 2 of them at least once a week for child care. They send pics via WhatsApp and we exchange WhatsApp messages a few times a week.

The other two call me if they want something. I’ve given up calling them on a regular basis because they are too busy to “chat”. They usually get in touch just before Christmas to invite themselves and their D.C. to mine for Christmas dinner. I don’t worry if I don’t hear from them for a couple of weeks. I’m sure I would hear if there was something wrong. They always invite me along for DGC important activities.

Number 5 still lives at home. He manages a grunt every now and then.

I don't like speaking on the phone so we hardly ever do that but I message my mom daily, usually several times a day. We talk (over message) about our days; recipes; gossip about our friends; our husbands; our health; our online shopping; politics; what we are reading ..... Those are just examples! We are very close.

I have an adult stepson from a former relationship. We also text fairly often - not necessarily daily but certainly several times a week. We would discuss our health (physical and mental); his love life; stuff we have bought; food; TV and films..... Again I would say we are close, especially given he is not my biological child, and I am not even with his parent any more!

Frequency and nature of contact will vary hugely and there is no wrong or right. I see both of these relationships as friendships as well as family relationships (if that makes sense?) So communicate with them similarly to how I would my friends.

Mum message daily. See once a week min.
Dad see daily as does childcare for us.
PIL. See weekly for dinner. Message if needed in between.

We have the same . General WhatsApp for adult kids and partners (none married yet so no kids - (this is important to all of them as they have all been indoctrinated with the MN wise words of stupidity of kids without marriage /guarding fertility)

However we do this thing and it seems to work well. Had all over for Christmas/Twixt Christmas for lovely times and all seem happy with it.

dm rings once a week
i message the 3 adult dc regularly

God that's tough.

It's been a bit similar with my mum. She made no effort to call me ('you're always so busy! I never know when is a good time!' So call me & you'll find out, that's what a mobile is for 🙄).

I started to leave it too - it went a few weeks at one point which felt really odd.

@Ilovelurchers

That sounds lovely.

Amazing to have that ongoing relationship with your former DSS. All credit to both of you for making that happen.

I speak to my mum on the phone 2-3 times a week and see her at least once.

27 year old DS lives a long way away and we are both busy so sometimes we struggle to find a time we are both free. We aim to speak once a week but sometimes it can be more like 2 weeks. The trouble is when we do speak we can be on the phone for 2-3 hours so we have to set aside a whole evening!

I speak to my mum every day. We talk about our day, our cats, our DHs and if a new patio is required that day, TV shows that we both watch, what's going on with the wider family, we usually have lots to talk about.

My mum is my best friend and like a PP there's only 19 years between us.

If I couldn't contact her for 7 or 8 hours after the time we usually talk then yes, I'd be extremely worried.