Do you believe everyone is slightly autistic?

[Unfriendlywoes]

Constantly have people saying this to me, usually when I’m trying to open up about my struggles with my ASD dd. I feel like a complete failure as a parent quite a lot, and feel so utterly broken and angry after fighting and begging for support for so long and still not getting any really. Currently draining all of my finances to access private therapies for her. If it’s a case of everyone is slightly autistic, why is it so fucking hard?

Another ignorant post.

UggyPow
This was similar to what we have had. Also got another child with serious mental health difficulties and serious anorexia. Even though treatment needs to be different for autism you get no reasonable adjustments, anything extra or any support what so ever.

This is irrelevant to the OP’s question. There are plenty of place to post about resources-that is not the point of this thread.

So after you've spent a lot of money and get the diagnosis , what actually changes afterwards??

Same children only got their diagnosis at 17 and 20 anfter lengthy struggles. Unbelievably one has an EHCP!!

I see this thread has brought some of the usual arseholes out like moths to a flame (whining on that people use autism as an excuse for bad behaviour)

To answer your question, OP, yes, I used to get this line trotted out at me by those uneducated about Neurodivergence. It's simply not how a spectrum works. You are either on it (somewhere) or not. Everyone is not on it somewhere.

I don't bother with the people I knew who used trot this trope out to me because at best it's misinformed, at worst it's nasty and abelist.

Such us my Autistic wont.

No. But I think a great many people, including some professionals and ND don't understand what trait or a spectrum is.

So a trait will have a category or parameter e.g. reaction to noise, the vast majority of people will be a band across the middle, but someone who is deaf, has hearing damage, or has auditory sensitivity may be well outside that band in either direction. A spectrum is just a series of categories and a common set of traits can be used to define a particular condition.

I don't think I've explained that very well.

@Psychoticbreak my point is that they used to be two separate diagnoses.

A lot of people with autistic traits that aren't "severe" enough for a full diagnosis would probably have been diagnosed with Asperger's twenty years ago and I do think it's a shame that that diagnosis no longer exists.

Ergh. I hate it. I'm ADHD, wouldn't be surprised if I'm also autistic, my husband is autistic, my kids are both a glorious mix of the two, and people say that bollocks which totally undermines the difficulties we face as ND individuals in an NT world.

Yes, everybody has traits of ASD/ADHD/ND, that's normal, but it's the extent of those traits affecting our lives that make it ASD/ADHD/ND. Having spent my life being told I'm lazy and procrastinating and enjoy being useless and leaving things to the last minute, when actually I'm experiencing ADHD paralysis and feel shit because I believe that I am actually lazy and procrastinating but I cannot push myself to do anything. Or not being able to make friends because I can't follow social norms, overtalk because of social anxiety and so on, but y'know, weird/kooky/oddball/self-obsessed.

The ignorance on certain posts here prove the misunderstanding of ND.

I was under the impression that autistic people and those with learning disabilities were given the Covid vaccine because they had significantly worse outcomes than NT people due to medial negligence.

It's quite a widespread problem. People are put on DNR without consultation, not treated because meltdowns or difficulties communicating are seen as them being awkward, violent or refusing treatment. We are often not believed when we say we're in pain as we do not react or behave typically.

I read a report that detailed the cause of death in those with ASD and LD in 2020 and 50% of those who died, died of preventable causes.

You ask these same questions with faux innocence on every thread that mentions Autism.

I believe on the last one, you said "oh, I see! I see now" when someone mentioned access to possible benefits.

Make you feel superior, does it?

I agree, but I know the name Asperger's has problematic links which is why it's no longer used.

My main issue is that the autism spectrum is huge and I don't think everyone on that spectrum having the same diagnosis is very helpful. In fact, it's more of a hindrance.

I'm trying to understand , what actually changes after a diagnosis, how does it actually help?

You aren't. You're following threads about autism and constantly questioning people, but never listening to the answer.

You now know the cause of your symptoms and can therefore respond appropriately to them. Some different things can look very similar to autism such as fetal alcohol syndrome, attatchment disorders, anxiety, sensory processing disorder, but they require different support and techniques. There are also some things that are known not to work well for people with autism such as some talking therapies so you can know not to bother.

Well maybe I'm in the wrong? But no one appears to be able to answer the question ?

If your diagnosed with depression, you can be treated with medication and counselling. If your diagnosed as a coeliac you know to change your diet and cut out gluten. So you see what I'm trying to get at, once diagnosed with ASD, what actually changes afterwards?

People have answered the question for you many times.

A better understanding of one's self and, therefore, a better ability to manage life in a world built for NT people.

Access to support / counselling if needed.
Appropriate adjustments in the workplace.

Protection as defined in law.

Not feeling like 'Schrodingers Autistic'

Sometimes, a diagnosis of ADHD as a common co morbidity, which then in turn opens up access to medication.

Better understanding of any diagnosis in our children which enables us to understand and support them.

And yes, access to appropriate funding or benefits if one meets the stringent descriptors.

Thank you

No when people say this I say actually that's not true. We can all feel sad sometimes but that doesn't mean we all have clinical depression. It's just a silly thing people say to try and make you feel better you have an autistic child but it minimises what you're going through.

Sometimes you can access benefits to cover the extra costs intrinsic with having disabilities.
You can ask for reasonable adaptions at work or in education.
You are legally protected from discrimination based on your autism.
If you require extra help in the legal system, a responsible adult should be offered to you.
You can request an advocate during meetings, hospital appointments, claiming benefits, accessing housing etc.
You can apply for specialist accommodation if needed.
Your autism can be noted and any psychological support adapted to meet your needs. CBT, for instance, needs to be done by a very specialised way if the patient is autistic.

We’re not paid a penny and had 3 diagnosis of both in our family. Masses. Better understanding of yourself and coping mechanisms, the ability to research and help yourself, legally there are supposed to be reasonable adjustments which will improve. Some areas are better than others. NHS has a long way to go ditto education but are upping their training(NHS), CPS make reasonable adjustments which is important….. Although my dd didn’t get the reasonable adjustments in meetings that she should have had her treatment was altered which saved her life and the NHS a lot of money…… It’s been life changing for me and will be eventually for my children when they are more well. Autism support is getting more funding in our area and things are improving- slowly!

You are being deliberately obtuse so I can hardly be bothered to point out the obvious, but I guess I will. I can see you are insinuating that a diagnosis is pointless because autism cannot be treated or cured? Is that what you’re asking?

What changes? Everything changes.

The self-understanding that comes after an autism diagnosis is priceless because you no longer have to treat yourself (or your child) as an abnormal neurotypical person but a normal autistic one.

I don’t force my kids to wear clothing with textures they can’t stand. I allow them tons of downtime at home because they find socialising exhausting. I forgive them for their auditory processing delays. I no longer lie awake at night worrying about their limited diets. I laugh at the horrendously blunt things they sometimes say (instead of telling them off for being “rude”). I get them support in school for their anxiety.

I forgive myself for being socially awkward and not maintaining friendships as an adult. I drive with sunglasses in winter because even everyday light levels dazzle me. I look back at my childhood and forgive this undiagnosed kid for all the weird things she did. I spent my entire life feeling like such a weirdo and blamed myself completely. I don’t have to do that anymore.

And that’s just scratching the surface of how I approach life with autistic kids and being late diagnosed myself.

@Jellycats4life no I'm not being obtuse, also I get that having ASD is of course not the same as being a coeliac. My point was, after a diagnosis, how does life improve and change to what it was before the diagnosis? I'm actually trying to understand something that was all. Thank you for the response

Jellycats4life I can see that the diagnosis has given you a kind of permission to forgive your childhood self as you understand your behaviour better - but no one should need forgiveness for the behaviours of their childhood or having the label "weird" attached to them.

I dont think we only diagnose things that we can treat/cure. We diagnose to rule out other things.

I also think the speech and language therapy and occupational therapy my son has had has made a significant difference to the quality of his life and life chances. The way the therapies were delivered was geared towards autism not other types of disorder as they respond differently and different teqhniques are needed.

Plus a key piece of information an autism diagnosis gives you is aspects of the environment need to change as the person can't. So you can start advocating for those changes or avoiding situations.