Do you believe everyone is slightly autistic?

[Unfriendlywoes]

Constantly have people saying this to me, usually when I’m trying to open up about my struggles with my ASD dd. I feel like a complete failure as a parent quite a lot, and feel so utterly broken and angry after fighting and begging for support for so long and still not getting any really. Currently draining all of my finances to access private therapies for her. If it’s a case of everyone is slightly autistic, why is it so fucking hard?

No, and as the parent of an autistic child it infuriates me when people say it. It completely minimises the struggles she faces every day.

The last person to say it to me was a fucking GP!!

No, the spectrum is of autism. Although everyone might have some traits like liking soft textures that is not the same as sensory sensitivity.

No. Anyone who thinks that has clearly little experience of autism

Your brains either wired differently or its not, there is no little bit🙄

No, and as the parent of a diagnosed ASD child I hate ignorant people saying that. Many people may have some traits of autism, but they don’t have the triad of impairment that indicates diagnostic threshold. I understand your struggles and your frustrations, it is fucking hard, every day.

No, and anyone who tells you that is slightly an ill informed prat.

No of course not. People hear spectrum and think that means everyone fits into it. When in reality most people are not autistic.

Although (as an ADHDer) I do believe that Autism and adhd are ‘2 sides of the same coin’ for lack of a better expression!

No (parent of an autistic child though: I wouldn’t expect anyone with close experience of autism to believe this). I do think lots of people can identify with one or some autistic traits, but that doesn’t make them autistic.

No but I do think people bat it around as an excuse for things

A GP!! The senco at my DDs last school said it to me as well, thank fuck I got her out of there.

No.
And as someone who has a Dh and DS who are autistic, I find it deeply offensive!
Is everyone a little bit diabetic?

NO and as a dm of an autistic ds I find this sooooo annoying. So sympathise with you.

No and it's offensive. People try and say it to be "nice" like "ahhh we're all a little bit autistic though aren't we (don't worry)!" And like pp say it totally undermines the general struggles of people with autism and their families. I recognise traits in myself, which makes sense as two of my 3 children have autism and there is a genetic factor, but that doesn't mean I meet the threshold.

It also annoys me when people say "I'm a littl bit OCD" but that seems to have become common parlance that people use with very little thought now... I stop people who say the little bit autistic thing though, as there is the danger of the same thing happening, imo.

No and it's really insulting because it normalises and minimises what can be very difficult and excruciating experiences for autistic people.

If people started saying they know what it's like to have cystic fibrosis because they get a lot of chesty coughs or muscular dystrophy because they are soooo tired. There would (rightly) be uproar. But for some reason neurological conditions are fair game.

Everyone pees, but it doesn’t mean they have a urine infection.

No, like you can’t be ‘a bit OCD’ either. I hate it when people say things like this too, it minimises and dismisses what it is really like to be autistic.

No, but I can see why more and more people think they might be, I've seen loads of posts on Instagram and Facebook that suggest normal quirks have a "bigger" cause than just people being people.

I don’t think everyone is ‘slightly’ autistic, but as someone with many close relatives with ASD/ADHD diagnoses, I must admit that many of us in the family without autism do also present with strong autistic traits. There are definitely those of us who have deficits in one or two of the three triads, but wouldn’t meet all three for an autism diagnosis. I do appreciate that we’re not a (neuro) typical family.

No, but I do think there are people who have many traits but not enough to get a diagnosis. Eg if you need to tick 100 boxes to reach a diagnosis threshold there will be people who tick 0 boxes and people who tick 99. So I don't think it's totally black and white. I say this as someone with a diagnosed ASD child, another child awaiting assessment and a diagnosed ASD parent. I don't have a formal diagnosis of ASD myself but 15 years ago a psychiatrist I was seeing (for severe depression/anxiety) said they observed traits (this was before adult diagnosis was really a thing). Maybe I have it too, maybe I don't.

I do get annoyed when people say "we're all a bit autistic" though because yes it undermines the struggles of those who are. I think you can have a sub-diagnosis threshold level of traits and still struggle, though.

No.

In fact having an autistic DS has shown me just how completely neurotypical I am.

I am sorry you are having a tough time. When people said this to me, around the time my son was diagnosed, it made me feel very dismissed/invalidated by the person saying it. It just washes over me now.

I think you made the point better than me!

No, you can't be "slightly autistic". You either are, or you aren't.

People confuse what "spectrum" means and assume it means a sliding scale of autistic-ness when that isn't what it means at all.

There are traits of autism that a very common, especially in children . Things like sensory issues, obsessions, and anxieties. Literally every child I know has some level of these things. I certainly did as a child and I grew out of most of them. The overall picture of asd is of course completely different.

No and that’s obviously a stupid thing to say.

I have no direct experience of this but I did have a son with complex health needs and developmental delay. He died when he was 18 months old.

I’ve lost count of the stupid and insensitive things people (including medical professionals) have said to me both before and after he died.

The thing is people with no experience of something so hard just don’t know how to empathise because they don’t (and probably can’t?) understand. And instead of just saying something like “I’m sorry I can’t imagine how hard that must be” they try and say something positive or encouraging which is sometimes just down right stupid/offensive/upsetting. Try not to take it personally and if you can, find a support network of people who do understand - even if it’s just a Facebook group or something.