Do you believe everyone is slightly autistic?

[Unfriendlywoes]

Constantly have people saying this to me, usually when I’m trying to open up about my struggles with my ASD dd. I feel like a complete failure as a parent quite a lot, and feel so utterly broken and angry after fighting and begging for support for so long and still not getting any really. Currently draining all of my finances to access private therapies for her. If it’s a case of everyone is slightly autistic, why is it so fucking hard?

The normalcy of neuro typical has become so narrow that we are open to the easy ascertion that everyone is on ‘the spectrum’.

If - as I do - you have a DC born very prem and sharing lots of physical traits that could place them ‘on the spectrum’ you realise the subtleties that actually define ASD and that there’s so much more to it all and we - as a society - might be doing a great disservice to autistic people by rhetorical diagnosis.

I think everyone has got something and that there is no such thing as a ‘normal’ brain.

But not everyone has autism and the issue with autism is that the spectrum is huge.

Unfortunately, everyone needs a label these days and so many people are self diagnosing as autistic, simply because they don’t like loud noises or prefer routines etc and it almost takes it away from actual autistic people.

I used to work in schools and regularly In a class of 30 there were at least 15 ‘autistic’ kids, which may be the case but I don’t believe that the number of autistic children are that high and it’s more likely self diagnosed.

The trouble is when someone is actually autistic they get seen as not as high needs because there’s so many others in the same class.

Agreed

Hurt my ankle last week, feeling a little bit paraplegic today 🤨

I don’t agree that everyone is a little bit autistic and I can see that it must be very frustrating hearing that as a parent trying to get help for their autistic child.
But it isn’t as clear cut as ´you’re either autistic or you’re not’ either.
I think quite a number of people have a lot of autism associated traits that cause some difficulties at various points in their life but don’t tick quite enough boxes for a diagnosis. And then it becomes, well if I’d ticked this one box differently I’d be called autistic, but at the moment I don’t quite fit the criteria 🤷‍♀️.
I think it’s entirely possible in the future that psychiatrists will discover that ´autism’ is actually multiple different things. At the moment it’s just a list of behaviors. There’s no known cause and no definitive diagnostic test - the test that exist seem to all use questions with subjective answers.

I struggle with this. I don't want to be offensive, but I see ASD everywhere. One member of my family is diagnosed, but most have strong traits, without being diagnosed. We all manage to get on in the world to a greater or lesser extent. So I don't know if we have undiagnosed ASD, or just some overlapping traits, or if I am just over-interpreting things....

There is no evidence “neurodivergent brains” are structurally different in any way at all to “neurotypical” brains. Autistic spectrum disorder describes behaviours and traits, not an anatomical, functional or genetic difference that can be observed with any current technology. We might find genetic or other tests which predict autistic behaviour or traits reliably - but haven’t yet.

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist as a discrete entity but you have to be clear any tests and subsequent labels are to a degree subjective and based on culturally bound norms (unlike, say diabetes, which is clearly always abnormal, and has a clear test and threshold for abnormality).

If you find the label helpful that’s fine. I’m not sure so much labelling is helpful, but that’s personal opinion.

No. I'm autistic and 2 of my children are autistic. The other 3 are NT, but have some traits, probably because they're related to me! They don't have that triad though, and cope far better at life than I ever have done. Which I'm grateful for, because as much as some people may say it's a superpower or whatever, I can just about cope with everyday life. I wouldn't have pursued, or needed, a diagnosis if my life was fine and dandy. Not that it means I get any support, but at least I understand myself and why I find easy things hard.

Interesting thread. A few things I've not seen mentioned...
Dh, for work, has access to medical journals and in my very basic understanding has explain some of the following to me -

The white blood cells behave differently in autistic individuals (hence why autistics are offered the covid vaccine).

Autistic individuals were found to secrete in their urine higher levels of serotonin.

There's other random things I can't remember. One to do with connective tissue also and something about amino acids.

I'm autistic, as is my son. I personally don't think autism is JUST to do with neurotype. I believe it's a lot bigger. But to answer the question, I believe you either are/aren't autistic. No partial autism

I don't think 'everyone is on the spectrum' as some people like to say (I'm looking at you SIL🫣). I believe anyone can have autistic traits, as in they might find labels or seams in clothing unbearable or they might struggle to make eye contact, or flap their hands when they're excited. But these on their own don't indicate autism.

No and it drives me mad when people say this! ASD diagnosis requires areas of difficulty in 4 areas in every day life. It's a medical diagnosis not a pick a mix sweet bag.
I'm not a little bit diabetic because I feel unwell if I eat too much sugar!
I have heard SENCo say this at work and it burns me up!

Absolutely not & it infuriates me so so much when people say this especially the "professionals"
Along with another I got recently from head of sen at my LA
"The world is mainstream so why won't you just accept a mainstream school? Just easier that way surely?!"

The ignorance of people blows me away daily

No it isn't possible. Neurodiverse wouldn't be called neurodiverse if everyone had it, it would be neurotypical, the norm.

It's possible to have one or more autistic traits without being autistic. Not everyone will have this either.

Same as we all have a personality made up of positive and negative traits, but however troublesome someone's negative traits are its still unlikely they meet the criteria for a personality disorder diagnosis.

Autism is serious, to meet the diagnostic criteria it has to significantly impact several main areas of your life. It's a disability. Even those who appear to be "mildly" (hate this description of autism so much) affected are still experiencing significant struggles that a neurotypical person isn't. The fact you, as an outsider, can't see it is irrelevant.

No. Absolutely not.
Its very ableist to say/ think it. Classed as a micro aggression.

Some autistic traits can be experienced in a neurotypical person, but they don't have the same effect as they do in an autistic person.

There's really no such thing as "self diagnosis" though. It's not recognised anywhere and nor should it be. Those people are "joking/exaggerating/lying" in most cases. Occasionally it means undiagnosed but have the condition and may/may not be seeking a diagnosis so it can be officially recognised for them. Self diagnosis should be ignored.

It has the same harmful effects as someone who likes things "just so" telling people they're OCD when they have no diagnosis and none of the struggles of someone with OCD. Or people who've felt sad for a couple of days telling people they're depressed, when they've no diagnosis of depression and will feel right as rain after spending some time with friends/doing a fun thing/getting a good night sleep etc.

I have 2 autistic children and no one has ever said this to me.

No, it’s nonsense.

I vaguely remember Dr Christian Jessen say this on tv .

No, not at all.

It would be like saying you can be "a bit pregnant". You either you are or you aren't.

The same happens with OCD. You either meet the diagnostic criteria, or you don't. But then you could have traits of a particular disorder and not meet the full criteria for a diagnosis.
I have a EUPD diagnosis, but I know people who were diagnosed with just traits.

No.
It would be like telling someone who is disabled because they have chronic fatigue syndrome, that everyone gets tired sometimes. Or saying to someone who is blind, that sometimes you can’t see when you forget to put your glasses on.

Whilst these things might be factually true, they spectacularly miss the point.

Every single person including myself who has previously self diagnosed their autism, has, now, been officially diagnosed. There will be the odd one who is wrong but if you're not born a man, self diagnosis is generally a thing for a long time before as adults we are picked up for it.

OP, we are not all a little bit autistic. It's as true as saying we are all a little bit pregnant.

you can have autistic traits but I think actual autism is over diagnosed nowadays. I feel as if you can have a few traits and be diagnosed autistic nowadays. Actual autistics have a hard time understanding jokes or context, have a blank expression, dont play w other kids, scream and meltdown because they’re overwhelmed from certain sounds or labels in their clothes and so on,

I think eventually we will discover that there are far more neurodiverse people, and the education system and world will have to adapt accordingly.

The modern world does make life easier for those with neurodiversity, you can have zero contact with others, work flexible hours from home, get anything delivered at the touch of a button and access support if you need/want it.

I have struggled mentally and masked massively throughout my childhood, teens and early adulthood. Since reading more about neurodiversity I have begun to accept that I am not neurotypical. I am able to accept that its ok to be myself, I now no longer have dark thoughts, self harm or episodes of emotional distress and meltdowns due to not fitting in with what the world expects me to be.

This might be what people mean, I don't go around telling people I am a bit autistic but I do understand some of the struggles and try to empathise even though from the outside it looks like I'm coping, to most people I present as happy, calm and very together. Even my mum hasn't seen my struggles since I was an young teen as my outbursts used to upset her so I would mask as much as possible at home too.

No, it's incredibly frustrating when people say this. My son is asd/adhd. My sister said this same phrase to me which I found infuriating. His struggles are often not 'seen' and this type of twaddle minimises the additional needs he has.

No.

I think some people have traits or resonate with the list of traits. But this doesn't qualify them for diagnosis.