Things that have made me irrationally angry this Christmas (lighthearted)

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Someone has been stabby with the butter, so now there are deep craters in it and I can no longer do my pleasing swipe and curl. Yet to determine who this is, but may report it to the police because he/she is clearly a serial killer in the making.

TV has been record breakingly shite, despite spending up to our eyeballs on streaming platforms. And why does every documentary these days have a musical score created by an intern on acid? It’s supposed to be ambient music. AMBIENT.

The weather is also a pile of shite. I have had to choose between smiling at my guests indoors or fucking off for a walk into hurricane billy bob the second, never to return.

Everything worth eating and drinking is giving me indigestion.

I have had about 17 minutes to myself and now I have to start planning for new years guests. With limited options for activities, because we’re forecast another fecking storm.

Please share your examples so I know I am not the only one full of seasonal rage 😤 🤣

Grumpyoldcrone.....best way to cook the brisket is low and slow. Slice a couple of carrots and onions, add a glass of wine and two glasses of water. Rest brisket on top, cover tightly with foil and cook at 180°c. Sorry not sure about the other temperature. Did a 2 and a half kilo joint for five hours and it was gorgeous x things that pissed me off over Christmas.....my dad saving half a dozen garden peas as leftovers. His obsession with the washing up 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Now you’re talking! ‘Pigs UNDER blankets’ gave me the rage! 🤣 (In the Co-op)

BIL & SIL came with niece who “will eat anything”. SIL insisted that a 4 year old old would have everything we had, fine, no problem at all except the child didn’t eat what was put down in front of her…. Every day for 4 long days I watched every portion the child had of meals I’d carefully prepared being binned by SIL, I lost my shit on day 5 over pork in apple sauce at dinner time but it was the 4 cooked and discarded eggs in the morning that tipped the scales as one was “too runny”, one was “too orange” one was “too hard” and the last one “had a speckle on it” all cooked and binned by SIL. I doubt they’ll ever speak to us again! I have no remorse.

Fish finger crumbs in the ice cube tray.

Getting into a semi row with my MIL about menopause and how we should "put up with it" for a few years because hers was fine.
She won't listen and accept that we all have different experience and some people feel suicidal etc why should we put up with it.
Then when I start to argue my point she goes off saying I didn't want to upset you, oh I've upset you etc when I'm just having a discussion! Arghhhhh
She isn't against me having HRT but it's that attitude that people today make such a fuss.
Yes I'm glad we do make a fuss, I don't think she worked and her kids had flown the nest when she had menopause so it may have been a bit easier than working full time and having kids at home and elderly relatives.

@mrswhiplington I like the presents being handed out too. I'd get pretty irritated by a scrum under the tree (decorated by me).

Concur with pp about endless cooking, clearing up, not to mention sorting the presents no one wants but they feel bad about being ungrateful. Wider family ask for ideas and then ignore

I hope things start looking up for you

@Mariposistaa . It's 6 years today since my mum died and she loved Christmas, but it does get easier. I've finally got the telly to myself, lit some candles and I'm vegging out with chox. Aim low!

Everyone takes approximately seventy million years to get together to do anything. I have a ten week old baby and can be out the door in a minute flat. Why is everyone other grown adult incapable of doing so in less than fifteen minutes?

Yep. And there is always one idiot who decides they need to take a dump when you’re all heading out the door.

I could handle someone passing presents round, but do we really need to watch each person open each present? This is my lovely in laws approach. Two hours to watch each person open every last thing. There’s only so much enthusiasm you can muster when you’ve unwrapped a packet of after eights.

My DH, whom I love and who is generally excellent, has a bizarre blindspot about internet shopping; for some reason he could not spot a drop-shipping site even if it had a whole series of pop-ups with 'Hey you! You there! Are you absolutely SURE?' flashing on and off. He also left present shopping to the last minute and instead of following the list I'd discreetly given the DC, he panicked and went off piste and now I have to explain to him why these horrible 'silk' pyjamas are neither silk, nor returnable, nor ever likely to grace my fat arse middle-aged body.

Also the fucking darts.

Also my stupid bloody nail polish has now chipped in a million places.

My irritation with the handed out presents is that they get thrust at me at such a rate I either have to hurry to open them or get buried in a jumble of presents. Either way, I'd prefer to do things at my own pace and be able to enjoy the kids discovering and opening theirs.

I think this is the real reason catapults were invented.
Minor grumbles for me: the cost of food, which seems to last two minutes in this house and the mess. Cardboard everywhere.

The Boxing Day guests who arrived half an hour early, hadn’t eaten all day and were ravenous, spent time following me around the kitchen to see what I was preparing.
Once I’d started putting the food out on the dining table two of the guests were hovering around picking bits up and eating them while I was back and forth fetching more food.
They weren’t due until 3pm, surely it’s normal to eat something earlier in the day

The phrase ‘all the trimmings’ which you only really hear at Christmas makes me feel stabby!

TV has been record breakingly shite

So true.

An in-law of a relative, who was invited last minute as they were going to be along due to the people they were meant to be travelling to visit going down with noro, subtly criticising everything.

”Oh my family don’t pass round the sides, it’s all plated in the kitchen”
”oh my family don’t have a (vauge) seating plan at all, we just sit wherever”
”oh in my family we always have soup before the meal”

All said with a real tone of “and obviously that’s the right way and this is wrong”.

And their way is fine for 4 or 6 people, but he was person number 27 on Christmas Day. We need a semblance of planning of who is at which of the 3 tables and plating everything up would mean the first served were finished before the servers sat down!

Spoons!! DM stayed over Christmas and she has a bloody annoying habit of making a drink then dumping a spoon on the worktop and walking away. The spoons are never in the same place and I at one point walked around my kitchen and collected up 5 spoons.

DH complained about loo roll, DM does an impression of the Andrex puppy and yanks the loo roll so it spins madly and leaves a pile on the floor

Random speaking, the minute we settled down to watch a film DM starts talking loudly over it (usually to the dog) yet when we sat down to eats meals and expected some nice chat, we were met with silence

Comandeering of TV! DM sat down on best seat to view TV, put a programme on she wanted to watch and proceeds to read a book! We did actually point put this was a bit unreasonable after the 3rd time she did it.

Have vowed next year we will not be having house guests over Christmas

@YetMoreNewBeginnings 27 people for Christmas dinner? You need a medal.

To be fair it wasn’t my year to cook or wash up so no medals for me.

it’s always in our house as we can squeeze the tables in, but everyone chips in

This year DH, his Aunt and cousin did the cooking and the teens did the washing up.

@YetMoreNewBeginnings You had 27 people in your house - have a medal anyway!

I'm cross that I'm bored. Deems a waste of time off work. Son and dh are content sitting at home doing nothing. We saw his family Christmas day and my parents boxing day. No other plans an noone seems to think of anything to do.
I mean it's nice.to have a break but I'm bored now.

Also I’ve come on my period. And I can hear my neighbours’ TV so loud I don’t even need to switch ours on.

This is why I ask for books for Christmas. Stave off boredom, legitimately ignore people and look grateful for your present.

Love it, this has really cheered me up. I will never look at Clementines in the same way 🤣🤣