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Original poster

MIL’s lack of food hygiene makes me feel sick

187 replies

sunflowers365 · 27/12/2023 20:26

I’ve just finished a week at my parent in laws for Christmas. My MIL’s food hygiene, and just general cleanliness, makes me feel sick. For context, I have a 15 month old daughter, which makes this more serious for me. She defrosted chicken on the kitchen counter all night. She left my daughter’s turkey bolognaise out on the hob for 5 hours yesterday before it went into the fridge and she reheated it today. She washed raw chicken in the sink today too. They have no hot water in their kitchen. Their kitchen floor is the dirtiest kitchen floor I’ve ever seen in my life- flecked with dried on food all over. The tiles at the back of the hob are greased over with fat. The fridge is full to bursting. The counter tops are strewn with food such as pickles, jams, dried fruits etc. I can’t even use the downstairs shower because I’m terrified of their shower curtain touching me and can’t bear to step on the bath mat. I bring my own flip
flops to wear in their upstairs bathroom. We are sleeping in their bedroom and it smells so musty. The level of dust and clutter is just foul. I love my parents in law but their house and lack of food hygiene disgusts me. Can’t wait to go home!!

OP posts:
Needcoffeeimmediatley · 27/12/2023 20:45

My DF also has questionable food hygiene, I genuinely don't know how he hasn't given himself food poisoning.
I don't stay the night at his house and when visiting I usually suggest a takeaway, my treat or try to take over cooking (while cleaning furiously and discreetly)

No advice I'm afraid but solidarity!

Original poster
sunflowers365 · 27/12/2023 20:46

That’s a good plan!!

OP posts:
Peoplemakemedespair · 27/12/2023 20:49

Well you’re home now. I guess the obvious thing is to not stay there again. If they live far away perhaps make up a reason why you have to stay in a b&b to visit them.

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SkyBlueBoy · 27/12/2023 20:56

If no one has come home poorly, I think you'll all survive

AllAroundMyCat · 27/12/2023 20:57

I think you're over reacting.
Some of what you say might be questionable but wearing flip flops in a bathroom/shower seems a bit much..

Your revulsion to a shower curtain touching you is OTT.
Sorry.

Changingplace · 27/12/2023 20:58

She defrosted chicken on the kitchen counter all night

Ok most of that sounds vile but if the heating is off at night this isn’t an issue?

BananaSplitsss · 27/12/2023 20:59

So if you knew it was that bad why on earth would you stay for a week?

mayorofcasterbridge · 27/12/2023 21:00

Why on earth stay there for a WEEK??

Defrosting the chicken overnight isn't awful. You could have put the turkey bol in the fridge yourself if you were concerned.

You should explain to her that raw chicken should not be rinsed in the sink.

Bring your own bath mat.

Chuck the shower curtain over the side of the bath - I hate them too.

WhateverMate · 27/12/2023 21:01

The lack of hot water is a worry and a few of the other things you mentioned, but some of them make you sound OTT, particularly being 'terrified' of the shower curtain touching you.

Next time could you stay in a nearby hotel and pretend you've got a 'voucher' or something to use up?

2dogsandabudgie · 27/12/2023 21:02

I have always defrosted meat on the kitchen top overnight, it takes far too long in the fridge. Never had food poisoning from it.

lauramum85 · 27/12/2023 21:03

My MIL house is awful. I won't eat or have a drink there. You cannot see the kitchen worktop because it's filled with so much crap. The living room is filthy, I don't get why they leave it in such a mess. Her daughter lives with her who is 30 and she seems to like living in a mess.

hashbrownsandwich · 27/12/2023 21:04

2dogsandabudgie · 27/12/2023 21:02

I have always defrosted meat on the kitchen top overnight, it takes far too long in the fridge. Never had food poisoning from it.

Snap!

SutWytTi · 27/12/2023 21:05

I understand. I think you should limit the visits, stay in a B&B.

vodkaredbullgirl · 27/12/2023 21:16

Simple don't stay for that long again, if you in laws place is that bad.

Universalsnail · 27/12/2023 21:18

My DH also has very questionable food hygiene and I hate it

But anyway tbh if that house is as filthy as you say I wouldn't be taking my kids there.

Fummymummy · 27/12/2023 21:37

Oh I sympathise. My parents are the same (probably worse - hoarders too). Their house has an unmistakable "smell", I can't describe it but it's a mixture of dust, old people, mouldy food, just a horrible musty smell and anything that comes from their house smells of it. No word of a lie if they come to our house when DH isn't in, he can smell that they've been when he gets home!
There's always mouldy fruit out on the kitchen counter, fridge always bursting and usually lots of past-it food waiting to be thrown out in there.

Luckily we can't stay there due to the hoard, and we don't allow the children to go there. My parents know why, but nothing changes. It's sad!
They do visit us regularly though, just a shame we always have to host.

Whisperingangel22 · 27/12/2023 22:00

Maybe visit less, or take your own food. My MIL is the same. Leaves all cooked food (fish, chicken) in the oven overnight (turned off). One year she put cooked fish in the oven (off) and left it overnight then offered it up my DH (her son) the next day. She insisted it was safe to eat. He ended up with food poisoning

FrangipaniBlue · 27/12/2023 23:42

She defrosted chicken on the kitchen counter all night.

She left my daughter’s turkey bolognaise out on the hob for 5 hours yesterday before it went into the fridge and she reheated it today.

What's wrong with either of these? As long as the house is relatively cool/no heating on overnight the chicken would be fine.

Re: the bolognaise, aren't you supposed to let if fully cool to room temp anyway before putting in the fridge? What's the issue if it was covered?

FrangipaniBlue · 27/12/2023 23:43

Other stuff sounds minging mind!!!!

ActuallyChristmas · 27/12/2023 23:50

She defrosted chicken on the kitchen counter all night

That’s standard procedure, surely. I’d be surprised if it fully defrosted in the fridge on just an overnight. Oh and it’s called a work surface not a ‘counter’, that’s American

Watchthedoormat · 27/12/2023 23:55

Standard practice years ago and here we are today.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 27/12/2023 23:58

The only thing out of your list that would bother me is washing the chicken in the sink, everything else is fine. I defrost meat every night on the side over night,it's absolutely fine.

ComfyBoobs · 27/12/2023 23:59

Hang on! Much of what you are complaining about is a complete non-issue. Are you sure you aren’t getting yourself worked up over not much?

Defrosting meat, allowing food to cool before refrigerating, jars of preserves on the worktop, full fridge. All pretty standard.

Are they / their guests victims of food poisoning? And you’re terrified of a shower curtain?!?

Washing chicken in the sink, dustiness and food stains - obviously less good. But those weren’t really central to your complaint and I think there’s a risk that you are talking yourself into hating staying with them and that’s going to affect the whole family relationship.

<Hands grip>

GoldDuster · 28/12/2023 00:00

I wouldn't be staying overnight in a filthy house, let alone for a week, no matter who's it was. If I was required to visit for more than the day I'd be staying in a nearby hotel. My ex inlaws house was a pit, and I refused to go for similar reasons after the first few visits, ate the bare minimum I could get away with there, took our own food and never stayed overnight. Solidarity, hotels and boundaries are your friend here, and offer to host if you can bear to.

eggandonion · 28/12/2023 00:03

It is called a counter where I live. Where I grew up it was a worktop. I can understand both.

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