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Original poster

MIL’s lack of food hygiene makes me feel sick

187 replies

sunflowers365 · 27/12/2023 20:26

I’ve just finished a week at my parent in laws for Christmas. My MIL’s food hygiene, and just general cleanliness, makes me feel sick. For context, I have a 15 month old daughter, which makes this more serious for me. She defrosted chicken on the kitchen counter all night. She left my daughter’s turkey bolognaise out on the hob for 5 hours yesterday before it went into the fridge and she reheated it today. She washed raw chicken in the sink today too. They have no hot water in their kitchen. Their kitchen floor is the dirtiest kitchen floor I’ve ever seen in my life- flecked with dried on food all over. The tiles at the back of the hob are greased over with fat. The fridge is full to bursting. The counter tops are strewn with food such as pickles, jams, dried fruits etc. I can’t even use the downstairs shower because I’m terrified of their shower curtain touching me and can’t bear to step on the bath mat. I bring my own flip
flops to wear in their upstairs bathroom. We are sleeping in their bedroom and it smells so musty. The level of dust and clutter is just foul. I love my parents in law but their house and lack of food hygiene disgusts me. Can’t wait to go home!!

OP posts:
Saggypants · 28/12/2023 01:18

It's a kitchen bench or benchtop where I'm from! Ikea says so, it must be true.

MIL’s lack of food hygiene makes me feel sick
MarieKlepto · 28/12/2023 01:23

I'm as far from domestic goddess as it comes OP but the general filth (let's leave out "how to defrost a chicken" seems pretty bad.

To wade in on what the bits on top of your kitchen carcasses are called, my husband says bunker, SIL says surfaces and my friend says sides. They are all from the same city. I say worktops, I'm from a different part of the country but I don't think that's relevant!

Muddays · 28/12/2023 03:23

@sunflowers365 have you dared to travel?

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Families
mantyzer · 28/12/2023 03:51

That is tough. My FIL was the same after MIL died. He also had a dog who was given any meat by us under the table. That dog loved us. We risked the vegetables and potatoes though and were never ill.
Can you make up a pretend allergy for your DC that means you have to be extra careful and would be safer in a hotel and with your DC eating food you have brought with you?

Original poster
sunflowers365 · 28/12/2023 06:31

Thanks everyone. It’s abroad so I can’t bring my own food. Even if I did, the fridge is too full to store it. You all haven’t seen the house yourself (incl the shower curtain or bath mat) so you can’t judge it, but it is pretty extreme. I love my MIL so I don’t want to upset her and she is so kind. I can’t stay in a hotel as it would upset her. She also has no microwave. I don’t care what you call the counter / side / worktop etc. it’s ok to have different words. With this post, I was simply writing here to express myself as that tends to help me. Surely writing online was a helpful thing to do compared to having a panic attack about being here and not being able to use the fridge etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
sunflowers365 · 28/12/2023 06:32

I also have my 15 month old whose pale coloured clothes are now ruined from the amount of dirt she has gathered from the floor (not just kitchen) including dust, food and grime.

OP posts:
Vettrianofan · 28/12/2023 06:34

hashbrownsandwich · 27/12/2023 21:04

Snap!

Show quote history

Same here. Alive to tell the tale.

TerfTalking · 28/12/2023 06:35

Worktop for me 😀

Toddlerteaplease · 28/12/2023 06:36

2dogsandabudgie · 27/12/2023 21:02

I have always defrosted meat on the kitchen top overnight, it takes far too long in the fridge. Never had food poisoning from it.

That's what I do!

EdgeOfACoin · 28/12/2023 06:42

If they're not coming down with food poisoning and if you're not coming down with food poisoning, chances are their food hygiene is fine.

And yes, you are supposed to allow food to cook down to room temperature before putting it in the fridge.

Sandra324 · 28/12/2023 06:44

I clean ALL meat, poultry whether it's supermarket bought or bought from butchers. Clean it in a bowl in my kitchen sink. Clean the sink with bleach and kitchen spray straight after. Why you ask...because I wash everything that my family eat.
I would have put the turkey bolognese away my self. And if your staying there for a week, you could help do the washing up and have a sneaky clean.

Babybelle23 · 28/12/2023 06:48

Count yourself lucky.. my MIL refuses to shower and wears one outfit (a polyester dress) day and night (no it never gets washed)🤮🤮🤮
she has two daughters who give her the occasional shower. One maybe two a month tops.
if it bothers you, don’t stay there. Boundaries and your comfort matter.
if your partner cared they’d tidy up abit for their parents you know or your comfort ?!

Desecratedcoconut · 28/12/2023 06:50

I wonder is she's one of those mnetters who was aghast at the thought of cleaning and tidying before Christmas?

InfamousPartyAnimal · 28/12/2023 06:51

It sounds like the general condition of the house is skewing your view on the food hygiene.
I have always defrosted meat on the worktop/counter/side overnight and myself, husband and two children are very much still alive and thriving! Remember the meat gets cooked and anything nasty should be obliterated if cooked properly.
I had fresh soup cooling on the side for around 5 hours before refrigerating, again it gets microwaved on a high heat before eating so I don't see the problem.
The grimy floor is disgusting but you are not eating off it so unlikely to cause you any harm in the long run (although awkward with a crawling baby so should be cleaned).
I wouldn't want to stay there as I can't stand dirty surroundings but I don't think a week there will cause you any harm.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 28/12/2023 06:56

Public Service Announcement:

MIL’s lack of food hygiene makes me feel sick
Seren2023 · 28/12/2023 07:12

sunflowers365 · 28/12/2023 06:32

I also have my 15 month old whose pale coloured clothes are now ruined from the amount of dirt she has gathered from the floor (not just kitchen) including dust, food and grime.

It sounds pretty bad, op and I would not like it at all. I understand it is difficult but is there any chance your MIL would appreciate some help cleaning up or would she be really insulted?

I would struggle to stay there but would do it as you say she is kind.

Sandra324 · 28/12/2023 07:14

I clean the sink and surrounding areas. Everyone I know who washes their meat has never had food poisoning except when eating out or abroad.

Tourmalines · 28/12/2023 07:21

Never in my life have I washed any meat or poultry before cooking .

ThreeRingCircus · 28/12/2023 07:34

I sympathise, my parent's house is filthy and uncomfortable and their food hygiene is also questionable. I take flip flops to wear in the house at all times as otherwise my socks would be filthy from all the dirt on the floors. I also take my own bedding as their beds are so musty.

I love them dearly but for this reason I refuse to stay more than two nights (they live a long way away) and never for Christmas Day. I just couldn't relax properly and I'm not ruining my own Christmas by staying there feeling uncomfortable.

TitaniasAss · 28/12/2023 07:35

I call it the counter. Not that it matters, people can call it what the hell they like without someone telling them they're wrong, that'a ridiculous.

OP I'm sure your DCs clothes are not ruined and will wash just fine.

DocOck · 28/12/2023 07:37

2dogsandabudgie · 27/12/2023 21:02

I have always defrosted meat on the kitchen top overnight, it takes far too long in the fridge. Never had food poisoning from it.

Same. And I'd leave something to cool on the hob or slow cooker for hours before putting it away.

Jitterybugs · 28/12/2023 07:39

Science has proven there is no benefit to washing raw meat. Quite the opposite as harmful bacteria is sprayed from the sink area contaminating much of the kitchen. The washing does not remove the harmful bacteria and it remains in the meat until it’s thoroughly cooked.

Tilllly · 28/12/2023 07:40

I understand @sunflowers365
It's the combination of lots of things

Josette77 · 28/12/2023 07:46

Do most people wash their meat?

I'm in Canada and don't know anyone who does this.

TorroFerney · 28/12/2023 07:52

ActuallyChristmas · 27/12/2023 23:50

She defrosted chicken on the kitchen counter all night

That’s standard procedure, surely. I’d be surprised if it fully defrosted in the fridge on just an overnight. Oh and it’s called a work surface not a ‘counter’, that’s American

Nope it’s the kitchen counter , like a shop counter. Unless east Lancashire has been transported to America. Chicken shouldn’t be left at room temperature to defrost , potentially years ago it was fine but our houses are warmer now.