Would you resent a colleague who has this ‘privilege’

[Resentedpumpkin]

Which is actually a reasonable adjustment?

Asd and adhd plus ME - I’m needing more and more breaks due to ASD and avoiding shutdown. It’s been agreed on my return after 2 weeks off (shutdown and selective mutism) . So now when it gets too much I’m able to log off (if WFH) or leave my desk for up to 30 mins as many times as needed per day.

it’s been once or twice a day but yesterday happened 4 times (10 mins, 30 mins, 25 mins and 5 mins)

Had some sarcastic and off remarks about it from others and now just feeling shit and embarrassed. Everyone is aware of my conditions so it’s not like they don’t know

Wow, a lot of you are fucking vile.

No, OP. If I had a colleague who was just back from leave after have a mental health episode, I would not resent them being able to take the time to look after themselves. A colleague of mine killed himself last year- so I would be grateful that this colleague is still with us, and I would be supporting them as much as possible.

OP, have a chat with management. It will do you no good to have to cope in that environment and may hinder your recovery/return to work.

I genuinely feel that I and lots of other people do this anyway.

Who hasn’t got overwhelmed and walked away to make a brew for 5 mins? Who hasn’t gone for a text in the loo or walked around the block to calm down?

I think autistic people might need the structure of being officially allowed to do this. But it’s just what we all do to regulate ourselves? But we do it automatically.

These things are really, really dependent on the team. Despite dramatic statements by the likes of @OracleofAragorn .
OP hasn't given us any detailed information about her team or working conditions, which is why, while we can all agree they should keep their mouths shut it's impossible to say whether they should be resentful or not. And bearing in mind, 'resentful' means 'bitterness at being treated unfairly! It doesn't mean 'making discriminatory comments'. The unfairness could be manager not reducing workloads to compensate. So not directed at OP at all. Even if they did things correctly and told management, not OP. They are still bitter. At the correct person.

@OracleofAragorn being happy to help out when the team has lots of slack, can cope, etc is very different to constantly carrying someone else or being put on the spot. Similarly @SomethingSpangly swings and roundabouts - doesn't always happen.

I've worked in teams with 90% of people having some sort of MH condition @FranticallyFrank to your point. It's been fine. Believe it or not loads of people aren't turning up demanding long breaks, people want to do a good job Nobody chooses to be ill or disabled most take pride in their work and want to support themselves.

The team has to be managed cohesively with all members. Instead most managers just do the legal minimum of 'adjustment' resulting on conflict. Because they don't actually care about the disabled person and by extension the team. They just don't want to be sued.

I think you're onto something there 🙂

Just a thought but, if what you say is true, perhaps methods of working need to change for everyone.

You can't do that in all jobs. Call centre staff for example have their time away tracked very closely along with number of calls taken.
That's why the OP's work environment is relevant here.
It could even be a scenario where team's supposed to take 50 calls, with OP down it drops to 40 the team is punished but really what they SHOULD be doing is reducing the target to 40. Who wouldn't feel resentful over that? Granted, aiming it at OP is wrong but that's really unfair.

I bet those nasty little fuckers spend just as long, or longer, chit chatting about non work stuff. It's rife and a big part of why I don't like going into the office. I don't want to spend an hour or six hearing about your personal life, Sandra, I'm there to actually work. Fuck them, sorry you are dealing with that.

I'm not convinced that your organisation has come up with the best way to support your return. If you're needing, at present, to take multiple time outs per day, it suggests that you are currently finding the full job overwhelming. I cannot help but think that a phased return with gradual increase in hours would be more sustainable for you, meaning you did not so often reach the point of shutdown, and you would thus be more effective during your working hours. It would also have the advantage that colleagues are more likely to have come across phased return before, and thus less likely to make horrible comments. Has this all just been set up by management or have you actually had a proper occupational health review? I've twice needed phased return due to conditions which would count as disabilities, and people seemed to get their heads round it more easily. Good luck.

Those expressing often do emails at the same time in higher pressured jobs

It is relevant on a level, but not more so than the fact she has an agreement in place - that says to me that management have okayed it and nust think ot reasonable? Therefore any issue a colleague has with it is between the colleague and management, surely? Anything else just smacks of passive aggression.

Gosh op.

I think you're employers are unlikely to work 1 to 2 hours less per day on an ongoing basis . Surely that's far and away beyond reasonable ?

Well that’s alright then. Jeez.

@Doodar

I am not susprised you and your colleagues were bit pissed off 😤 with your former colleague who clearly wasn't up to that kind of work,

God having 2hr or 3hr breaks

Absolutely ridiculous ! 🙄

🤔 💭 there's reasonable adjustments and there's just being ridiculous,

'Reasonable' for management IME means 'causing the least trouble'. They have to give people adjustments even if they don't give a fig - or risk getting sued. Lowering performance targets or actually arranging decent cover is too much trouble. So they prefer to just push the burden onto other employees.

I've also mentioned, several times, that the colleagues shouldn't be rude to OP. Resentfulness, however is a bigger umbrella that covers more than just direct attacks. Even if they'd kept their mouth shut to OP and complained via proper channels. They are still resentful. Just that the resentfulness is not directed towards OP. So it's not wrong.

There are two camps. One - people should just grin and bear it. Two - people have a right to be resentful and express this via the proper channels. Everyone agrees that OP shouldn't be bullied but whether or not colleagues are allowed to otherwise feel aggrieved is a different question altogether.

Working less hours per day is always going to cause resentment. Taking a 5 minute break wouldn't be conspicuous but 110 mins in addition to the breaks others get and no need to make up time isn't going to be popular.

For a very short period it's common to come back gradually, if you are able to work without obvious breaks within a couple of weeks then people will forget however if you continue to have this concession you may find it causes issues.

I don't lack sympathy, my dd is autistic but she knows she needs to prove she can work as well as others, very few employers are understanding, you are lucky op! Best of luck and hope your recovery is fast

That's not necessarily right.

Reasonable adjustments can include reduced workload, long term.

And employers would be on very shaky ground if they refused a reduction short term to aid a disabled employee's recovery.

Surely OP's situation is just a standard fit note provision - fit to work, may need extra breaks.

People saying they would feel obliged to make up the time - would you expect a colleague who fainted during the day to stay late and make up for it? There are three possibilities for OP:

Go off work sick
Pace herself, in line with standard medical advice
Push herself, burn out, go off work sick

This doesn't just apply in cases of diagnosed disability. Pushing through into burnout takes a huge toll on mental health and workplace productivity.

People commenting to OP about privileges need to be careful - that would amount to bullying if repeated. If they have workload issues let them raise it with their boss, not punch downward.

Get well soon, prioritise your health, and don't feel guilty, OP. People who are confident and critical aren't always right, by a long way.

Honestly, my child has ADHD and ASC. I spend my life making accommodations for him at home. I have had to ask to move to a different team at work because my colleague with ASC also needing accommodations from me all day at work was proving the nail in the coffin of my mental health. BUT, that is because reasonable adjustments for her is putting direct demands on me. In your case, it doesn’t sound like there is any detrimental impact on your team, more like they are jealous of you?

so YANBU but they are!

@Resentedpumpkin
I wouldn't agree to one of my team having unlimited paid breaks as a reasonable adjustment. The impact on your colleagues would make it unreasonable.

However, I would agree to a reduction in hours to make the job more manageable and the freedom to take unpaid breaks as and when you need it.

Have you looked into the access to work scheme? I may be wrong but I think they can fund support that might make this situation easier.

It's hard to compare it to expressing milk simply because this is ultimately to feed a baby (you're not doing this for another living being but yourself and you're an adult) & your employer is required by law to let you express.

I personally wouldn't mind but if it's frequent, people think you're taking liberties. Why him, not me. Not much room for compassion. Sorry you're feeling like this.

As someone who has reasonable adjustments due to a disability I would be embarrassed to be paid for hours that I haven’t worked. Reasonable adjustments are required to put you on a level playing field with your able bodied colleagues. That said, as you’ve returned from a period of ill health I wouldn’t resent this 8 week period but by the end of it if you physically can’t do your expected hours it would seem that you’re contracted too many hours and I would expect you to reduce them accordingly if you were my colleague.

They are not in a position to complain as it’s a reasonable adjustment to a disability. If they are complaining in a way that’s obvious you need to report them.

The other thing is, because it's 'nobody's business'. Do the colleagues even know it's for 8 weeks? For all they know it could be permanent. And that could be the issue.
We don't know what they know or don't know!

I don’t understand your statement that you be embarrassed to be paid for hours you haven’t worked. If your reasonable adjustment is, for example, leaving the office half an hour earlier because you can’t travel during rush hour - please understand this is a made up example - your hours would be the hours at the salary you’ve agreed with the company. You aren’t not working that half hour and you are paid a salary which is whatever is in your contract, as would be your hours, minus the half hour. If you are being paid by the hour then you will be disadvantaged by your disability if you leave half an hour early and you don’t get paid. So, surely you should be paid that half hour to stop you being disadvantaged by your disability. This is as I understand it from reading the document posted by a PP above. If anyone can make sense of what I have written and can tell me if I’m correct, I’d be grateful.

From what you have written here, unless I've misunderstood, I'm afraid I probably would resent it.

It sounds like the adjustments have gone beyond reasonable.

I understand you don't want to say the nature of your job, but it makes it hard for people to fully understand the effect is is having on others etc.

Also, I have a fairly stressful job. Sometimes work in teams, but often alone. Sometimes if I am struggling with a task I get frustrated. I will sometimes go to the loo, or make a cup of tea. Usually back at desk within 3 or 4 minutes and have another crack at the task.

How does that work for you? If you have an issue with your work which is just normal workplace frustration, not related to your ASD or selective mutism, do you recognise this and just get on with it? Or do you take 30 minute break for this as well?

I guess, ultimately, if you are getting your work done, even with the breaks, then your colleagues shouldn't be impacted. But it does sound as if they are.

Are you getting the work done? If so, then maybe this needs pointed out to the colleagues?

If not, then I'm not sure what the solution is, but I can't see that this solution would work long term.

Such ignorance. Depression and anxiety are shite but often treatable conditions. (I'm bipolar know both well).
ADHD and ASD aren't illnesses but neurodivergence, some ADHD symptoms in some people can be treated but not all and there is no medication or life style changes that gets rid of ASD. It's society that needs to change as being either of these is not an illness, it's just a different way of being.