Mornings ruin my whole day. Why do I find them so stressful? Any advice? (Young children)

[Whymornings8]

Two primary aged children. I’m not a morning person. DH claims he is, but if he gets up earlier than everyone, he looks at his phone until it’s time to get into action.

Either DH or I lose our temper every morning (sometimes both - our marriage is wrecked also), kids don’t want to leave the house, wake up late, no room for emotions.

One DC is like me and not a morning person.

Getting out the door every day is awful and it’s life for the rest of our lives, until we retire.

Please help! I hate it! It makes us all so miserable.

I'm sure some people will be horrified at this but this is our routine...

We all wake up about 7 naturally. DH gets up and brings me coffee and DS (9) his breakfast in our bed(!) and then leaves. DS and I watch TV...I sit in bed 'waking up' until about 7.30 and then get up, make packed lunch and get myself dressed by 8.15, leaving DS to it.

I chuck his uniform in to him and he knows he has to be dressed and teeth clean by half 8. If you break it down its really not much for someone to have to do and takes him 5 mins. I know some will judge some of this but my mornings are stress-free. I shower the night before so only need a wash. I don't find it hard to get up at 7 but I do need the bit of time to gradually wake up so I don't know if you can somehow factor than in a bit. I agree earlier bedtimes and agreeing the best plan openly between the 4 of you.

Disagree on packed lunch - you could make the sandwich in the morning but still assemble al other bits like yoghurt crisps fruit whatever into the box and keep in fridge ready to add sandwich in morning. Or use dinner leftovers/pasta salad in which case fine in fridge overnight. That’s what we do - I find mornings are a time for little gains in each area adding up to big gains overall

The other thing I do which I’ve never told anyone as think it makes me sound psychopath if. But it’s great. On back of kids door (they are 1 and 3) I have a row of 5 hooks bought from ikea. On each hook hangs a cheapo cloth tote bag. In each of these, on a Sunday night, I put what’s needed for each day of the week. So Monday gets a set of preschool uniform, a set of baby clothes, school book bag, bag for childminder hangs on same hook. And so on. Yes I have a set of pre school uniform for each day, it’s easier like that for me. Everything in wash on Friday. Saves so much time finding clothes in the mornings and keeping the boys in the room when found - that was losing me the most time