Is this an appropriate portion for DS12?

[JacksonPercy]

DS12 is trying to get a bit fitter as he competes in a sport and wants to get better. He’s tall for his age (around 5 ft 5ish) and isn’t a skinny build, he’s not heavy but he’s got a little bit of podge around his middle/torso (you wouldn’t really notice with clothes on). He’s got a good diet overall, likes fruit and vegetables and loves trying new foods but he does have a big appetite so I’m trying to make sure his portion size is right.

I’ve attached a photo of tonight’s dinner - it’s most certainly not “insta worthy” but I swear it’s tasty 🤣! It’s a medium size plate, half with lettuce and cucumber, around 20ish pasta shells, 3 beef meatballs and a slice of garlic bread with some cheese on top. The sauce is just passata mixed with herbs and he’ll have a cup of semi skimmed milk. Does this seem reasonable? If he‘s hungry after he’ll have a granola yoghurt tub thing/fruit/oat biscuits.

He’s got extra training sessions/running plans in place for extra physical activity and I just want to add that this is all led by him, I would never restrict his diet or anything like that or force exercise - he genuinely just wants to do better at his sport. I eat like a horse and don’t put on weight and I’ve never competed in sport so I haven’t had to think about this kind of thing.

That dinner doesn’t look balanced. Not enough pasta and meat. I’d double that and keep the salad.

DS14 small for his age plays footy everyday at both break times plays footy twice competitively, does basketball twice a week and then does reffing at the weekends too. He is VERY active.
We eat a pretty ordinary diet but I would say he eats more and moves more than your DS. I am slim. Dh is slim. Genetics play a part too.

I am shocked at the adults making comments. Thats so shitty and saddening.

I expect your DS is about to grow a bit more.

Yes, with tomatoes and less cucumber.

My 2 and 6 year olds would eat far more pasta and meatballs. I would be looking at the rest of his diet rather than this meal. He needs to fill up on the meatballs rather than having a sugary snack later.

He doesn’t fill up on snacks. He’ll have a few multigrain oat biscuit things which are low in sugar or some fruit or he loves the Activia granola yoghurt pot things. Doesn’t drink fizzy juice regularly, maybe once a fortnight or special occasions. Dessert is only on the weekends, usually ice cream or something he chooses. School lunches are rubbish - chicken burgers, pazinis etc but he won’t take a packed lunch. He loves lettuce and cucumber, he loves crunchy veg, it’s him that asks for it. We have pasta dishes a few times a week like meatballs or spag bol, fajitas, a roast with veg or mince and potatoes/stew and we usually have pizza night or a take away once a week.

He stays with his dad a few nights a week but I have no idea or say in what he eats there.

He trains in his sport 3 times a week and plays games 1 to 2 times a week.

Thanks for the advice, I will try to do better - more protein, better veg, wholemeal pasta etc.

Good grief! My daughter would have eaten more pasta than that when she was five. Does the poor boy really want all that plain cucumber and lettuce ? It looks a really tiny and unappetising meal for a 12 year old.

I don’t think it’s enough food for one, I only looked at the photo initially. Then read your second post about weight issues. Secondly it’s the wrong type of food, white pasta, garlic bread covered in cheese.
He needs protein. Grilled chicken, fresh vegetables, grilled or steamed fish, eggs, spinach, red meat, pulses, chickpeas, lentils. Bread and potatoes aren’t great.

My friends son is into rugby, he needs to bulk up as he can eat what he wants- he’s a rake! so he goes to the gym to bulk up - with a professional as he’s only 14 and only allowed to do certain weights etc.

Does he eat meat or fish? Could
you serve him chicken or salmon with veg? Your dinners seem carb heavy witn little focus on veg.

Try not to worry. My 14 year old son has always had big but mostly healthy appetite. He was 10 when lockdown hit so he continued eating the same but wasnt doing football/ice hockey training. Looking back at photos now he was fat. But some extra exercise and a massive growth spurt later he is now 5ft 10 and skinny as a rake but strong and powerful. Tell him to continue eating healthy food and be as active as possible. He will 100% grow and itll even out.

It looks like a few mouthfuls of pasta. My 4 year old would eat that and he isn't a big eater.

I'd up the protein content, try to cut down on the white pasta, (not the portion size, but maybe swap for whole meal or lentil pasta). Remove the garlic bread and add in plenty of vegetables.

DD plays rugby... and due to her age its a mixed team (but 90% boys). I regularly see the amount of food they all put away after a game. They demolish their own portions, and looking for more (DD is very popular as she doesn't eat chips!) There is a massive range of body types as well... short and stocky, tall and skinny, tall and stocky... and yes some are probably a bit podgy. But they are all fit and grow into their size.

It looks really yummy but I agree it's a small portion, I think increasing his protein portion would help keep him fuller and also provide him with the energy he needs for all his activity. As much as I love salad I would also swap that out for some different veg as it's just not very filling.

I'm sorry about his friends, it's shit how kids can be cruel, it sounds like your ds is very active though which is excellent. I think you will probably find he will naturally just even out a little over the next couple of years as he gets taller, this is what happened to my husband as a teenager and seems to be quite common.

You're obviously an excellent mum for making him lovely home cooked meals and supporting him to be active, I don't really think there's anything else you can do aside from making sure he's eating enough to provide him with the energy he needs.

Sounds like maybe the diet at dads might not be as good?!

I would really try to switch out the UPF foods and go for some swaps-

Greek yoghurt with some berries and honey

make a batch of super seeedy flapjacks at the weekend instead of the cereal bars.

But, take heart- he’s about to grow! I’d bet good money on it!

Jesus

My almost 2 year old would demolish that 🤣🤣

My son started lifting weights at 12 maybe you should get him some for Xmas.

What are these sports? If they are team sports he should do training sessions in addition to improve individual fitness. I agree too that the meal pictured is too carb heavy and too light on protein. He needs more than 3 meatballs. Red meat is also not the best, he needs chicken and fish.

I’d also ask him about the food at his Dad’s. At age 12, he should be allowed to choose what he eats. He may need encouragement to chat with his Dad about foods to buy in that support his sports training. This might need your support too. I know how it is to have parents that actively discourage sports and how much of a battle it can be to be able to participate in sports.

I think most active 12 year old boys would eat more than that for dinner

That's nowhere near enough.
Good salad size, probably needs double the amount of pasta, and probably 6 meatballs.

Please don't be too concerned about his size, if he's exercising and eating a pretty balanced diet he will be OK.

Easily 2,000 calories - he's growing, remember., as well as being physically active

My DS ate more than his dad did - I couldn't fill him most days!

I would get rid of the double carbs and give more
pasta and more protein.

i don’t really limit portion size and have always trusted my children to know when they are full.

My 12 year old would eat a lot more - more meat, more cheese, and ideally whole grain foods which fill them up more. He is also super slim.

Feed the boy he’s growing !

op food is always a minefield especially with teens. It looks too little to me too

Double the amount of pasta sauce and cheese. Salad quantity is fine.

This.