Is this an appropriate portion for DS12?

[JacksonPercy]

DS12 is trying to get a bit fitter as he competes in a sport and wants to get better. He’s tall for his age (around 5 ft 5ish) and isn’t a skinny build, he’s not heavy but he’s got a little bit of podge around his middle/torso (you wouldn’t really notice with clothes on). He’s got a good diet overall, likes fruit and vegetables and loves trying new foods but he does have a big appetite so I’m trying to make sure his portion size is right.

I’ve attached a photo of tonight’s dinner - it’s most certainly not “insta worthy” but I swear it’s tasty 🤣! It’s a medium size plate, half with lettuce and cucumber, around 20ish pasta shells, 3 beef meatballs and a slice of garlic bread with some cheese on top. The sauce is just passata mixed with herbs and he’ll have a cup of semi skimmed milk. Does this seem reasonable? If he‘s hungry after he’ll have a granola yoghurt tub thing/fruit/oat biscuits.

He’s got extra training sessions/running plans in place for extra physical activity and I just want to add that this is all led by him, I would never restrict his diet or anything like that or force exercise - he genuinely just wants to do better at his sport. I eat like a horse and don’t put on weight and I’ve never competed in sport so I haven’t had to think about this kind of thing.

Let’s look at the nutritional value of your ds’s meal.

Pasta - as others have said, wholewheat would be better… but only if he will eat it. Aim for 3-4 times a week tops.

Garlic bread - This is also white. You’ve given him double carbs and both contain gluten. Aim for no more than about 2/3 a week.

Tinned meatballs - will be bulked out so not much protein so this is an issue

Sauce - is that passata? This is ok a couple of times a week.

Iceberg lettuce - this is lettuce does not provide as much nutrients as other lettuces. But still good overall

Cucumber - good for weight maintenance as full of water and does provide a lot of nutrients

Then let’s talk about what your ds had for the rest of the day. An egg and toast. That’s a good breakfast for starters.

So as others have said, increase the protein content of the meal and ensure your ds has a range of vegetables throughout the week if he will eat it. Frozen veg is a godsend. Raw carrots are great.

I appreciate meat is expensive so as others have said, look to give your ds other protein sources. Cheese, pulses etc. Hummus is tasty with carrot sticks. Haloumi isn’t too expensive, slice it thinly and fry for a few minutes on either side.

I was one of the ones who thought he needed more, not less, food (because he is growing, and active) - but I didn't suggest you were starving him as others seemed to. You are feeding him healthy food, perhaps, as has been suggested, a little carb heavy - but far from a bad diet.

I’ve been trying to gain weight most of my life. I drink two pints of full fat milk a day!

I sympathise with this. I was someone who couldn't put weight on either - I couldn't even make 7 stones to become a blood donor. Don't worry - the menopause will sort that out for you (with a vengeance, in my case).

One problem with protein is that much of it is expensive, and as a single parent you may be on a tighter budget than many people. If he enjoys food such as lentils, beans and oats these are excellent ways to add protein without breaking the bank, and are very good additions to his diet anyway, as they fill him up without huge number of calories- they are bulky, though so may make his tummy look a little bigger. They are also very versatile and can be added to/ be the basis of lots of different meals, savoury and (oats) sweet.

DS LOVES ICEBERG LETTUCE AND CUCUMBER! I’m not bloody forcing him to eat it, he’s loved it since he was 2 and the only reason I discovered that is because he would eat it when we were feeding our pet rabbit.

My DS loved cucumber sandwiches (very "vicarage tea", I know) and we discovered his passion for cucumber the same way as you did.

I don’t understand how he isn’t fitter with what he eats and how active he is

Obviously I don't know how fit your DS is, but it may be that he is a bit lethargic if he is preparing for a growth spurt - I think teenage boys seem to conserve energy at such times and then suddenly expend it by waking up 5 inches taller than the day before.

And I agree with you that if he was hungry he'd tell you - and he'd also be going through the cupboards looking for stuff to make a sandwich with.

You're doing fine - don't let people worry you. If people at school are saying he's chubby, take him to the GP and get him checked and if there is a problem it can be sorted, and if there isn't then you can tell them - that's his build. It's upsetting though that he is being made fun of - I know it's part of childhood, but it's horrible, and parents certainly shouldn't be commenting on him. This will make the kids worse.

Don't forget that genetics has a part in this too - you may be very slender, but if his dad was hefty he may take after him. (Apologies if this has been asked and answered)

I am the batch cooking queen. My dd is out and about a lot. I make her food flasks once or twice a week.

Meal ideas for after football, which can be batch cooked / frozen in advance and microwaved -

Frittata.
Fry small pieces of chopped veg until soft. Eg a large onion, a large courgette, a pepper and a few mushrooms. Transfer to a dish. Beat 7 large eggs. Pour over the top and bake for about 20 mins. Check the centre is cooked by poking with a fork. If you have cooked boiled potatoes, chunk and add these otherwise serve with jacket potato, garlic bread or similar. This is very simple to reheat in the microwave after football.

Spaghetti bolognese
A large onion, 500g minced beef, any veg you like, but will need to be chopped small or grated. Carrots and courgettes are easy to grate. I use about 50% beef, 50% veg. You can also add some ready made or pre soaked lentils - try a small amount to start off with to see if your ds will eat, 3 or 4 cloves of garlic, 2 tins tomatoes, mixed herbs. Fry the onion, brown the mince, add the rest of the ingredients. Simmer for at least half an hour if you have time, stirring occasionally and adding water if needed. Cook the pasta. This makes enough sauce for about 5 people. You can add more ingredients- a stock cube, Worcester sauce etc if you like your food richer. Serve with grated cheese.

Cottage pie
An onion, 500g minced beef, veg as per spaghetti bolognese, 3 cloves garlic, mixed herbs, a stock cube (any). Fry the onion, brown the mince, add the veg and other ingredients. Cover with water and simmer for 20 mins - half an hour, adding water if needed. Transfer to a dish and add a generous amount of mashed potato - you can also use sweet potato - oven bake until brown on top. Maybe 20 mins? I forget, such a long time since I made this.

Stir fry with chicken or other protein
I do lots of these. Sometimes just browning the chicken, adding a lot of chopped veg and nothing else then stir frying until cooked. Other times, adding sauces eg fry off the chicken then add a tin of tomatoes and half a jar of red pesto. Simmer. Serve with a carb of your choice - pasta, rice, potato etc.

Then you could try salads?
Eg lettuce - you could try to give your ds more than just iceberg and if But if he likes the crunch, grated carrot, even grated red cabbage will give this effect. Include things like a hard boiled egg, chunks of cheese, some tinned tuna / cooked chicken / smoked salmon (pricey so maybe over budget), ham, olives, tomatoes, cooked beetroot and the much loved cucumber… it doesn’t have to be all these ingredients btw. Just ideas. I drizzle on white balsamic vinegar and olive oil. Dd has a shop bought dressing.
He will need some carb with this. My dd is veggie so she’s eating hers with cheese and I serve hers with things like a toasted bagel and hummus to increase her protein intake.

Also LOL at all the 'My 4 year old can finish this', 'This isn't enough for my 3 year old', 'My newborn eats this as an appetizer and asks for more'.

Never change, mumsnet.

My 12 year old would eat three times that size. Literally

It's not a dinner plate, and it's "stuffed" with cucumber.

I've a year 7 12 year old. I was getting concerned at the start of the year that she was looking on the larger side, always been chunkier rather than stick thin but she's now going through puberty, shot up and is currently a 5'6 size 6, you wouldn't believe she was the same child as 12 months ago. She's a dancer and is in lessons for 10 hours a week plus sports done with school, yes she'd eat more than that but I'd give more meatballs, add the cheese on top and drop the bread

It's three spoonfuls of food plus salad and a bit of garlic bread @TheMiddleLight.

Just on calories alone it's obviously not enough.

Just by looking the vast majority say not enough food. So its not enough.
Also a pp said toning doesn't exist. Yes it does. You can be slim with no exercise and have flabby bits that do improve with exercise ie get toned. Muscles become more defined. But in this case seems he does exercise and maybe is holding on to some fat because he doesn't eat enough, it'll mess up the hormones like leptin and might be why he holds on to some. And a growth spurt coming.