Is this an appropriate portion for DS12?

[JacksonPercy]

DS12 is trying to get a bit fitter as he competes in a sport and wants to get better. He’s tall for his age (around 5 ft 5ish) and isn’t a skinny build, he’s not heavy but he’s got a little bit of podge around his middle/torso (you wouldn’t really notice with clothes on). He’s got a good diet overall, likes fruit and vegetables and loves trying new foods but he does have a big appetite so I’m trying to make sure his portion size is right.

I’ve attached a photo of tonight’s dinner - it’s most certainly not “insta worthy” but I swear it’s tasty 🤣! It’s a medium size plate, half with lettuce and cucumber, around 20ish pasta shells, 3 beef meatballs and a slice of garlic bread with some cheese on top. The sauce is just passata mixed with herbs and he’ll have a cup of semi skimmed milk. Does this seem reasonable? If he‘s hungry after he’ll have a granola yoghurt tub thing/fruit/oat biscuits.

He’s got extra training sessions/running plans in place for extra physical activity and I just want to add that this is all led by him, I would never restrict his diet or anything like that or force exercise - he genuinely just wants to do better at his sport. I eat like a horse and don’t put on weight and I’ve never competed in sport so I haven’t had to think about this kind of thing.

he has a belly and slight moobs and back fat rolls. You can’t see them in clothes because he’s wearing a bigger size but he gets grief in the changing rooms for it. I expected a growth spurt to sort it out but it’s been over a year now. Do I just ignore it and tell him not to worry, it’ll sort itself out?

Hugs from me.

My four children have all been chunky at the tail end of primary. All started losing the weight without me changing anything at around 11-13 years old.

My key advice is

• make sport an essential part of their life. Not just one sport, have two or three. Having the habits of being active, week in week out, rain or shine, all year round. Also normalise getting out of breath every time you exercise - ill say to mine, if you're not sweaty and/or out of breath, your heart muscle isn't getting fitter.
• eat non processed food as much as possible. If its cooked from scratch amd not processed, I don't often limit portion size.
• encourage going out with your mates. "Playing out" was key to mine losing weight, I think. Walking to their mates, walking into town, walking to the park, kicking a football around with mates on the rec - those kinds of "getting your steps in" kind of activity.

seriously Shirley? 😧

aha!! you're being ironical 😂

Omg my ten month old would eat that!! My older kids would think that’s a starter!
sorry but seems v v v small
just to add my kids all on the slim side and active too

I would change the salad. Cucumber and iceberg have practically nothing in them. If you did something like spinach and chickpeas it's more nutrient dense. I would do more meat to keep him fuller.

What does he eat over the course of a week?

I read this as you are embarrassed by your child because he isn't thin as you were as a child. The way you describe him is awful and shows you are dwelling on certain aspects of his body, which he will pick up on. Shaming him and underfeeding him will do nothing except cause him eating issues.
Feed him properly (decent portions and nutrient dense foods) exercise with him, and really dig deep into your own feelings towards people's bodies. The research tells us that children who have active parents (particularly mothers) are the ones who form healthy habits.

The extra ‘podge’ atm may well be in prep for a growth spurt - get too lean & he may get stretch marks if he shoots up quick

However if his meals are like the one you’ve posted, and he is additionally doing sport, then maybe ask your GP for some reassurance or guidance because frankly if he is getting stick for weight, appears to eat this little whilst active but still ‘podgy’ then I’d worry he is binging on other stuff but in secret because he’s embarrassed and upset at the comments - and that would need addressed asap

Gentle chat and GP would be my next move

@JacksonPercy my eldest was a chubby lad no matter how much he exercised or little he ate. He never ate anywhere near what his friends ate and he isn't even arsed by junk food in the way you'd expect teens to be. His vice was cereal and haribo and he went cold turkey on them.
We went the docs and they said he was just a growing lad and said "puppy fat", (he wanted to go the doctors, I didn't really have much of a concern, but like your DS he led it all) anyway he got to 17 stone by 15 but also he was also 6'4, bit taller now, anyway the weight fell off once he started getting a hairy lip.
He started lifting weights to get some definition. But running/football made no difference and neither did diet, it really was a case of puppy fat.
He wasn't a chubby child, just around the 12-15 age and now he's absolutely perfect bmi etc

I have to admit we were so lucky my DS never was teased about his weight. Also helped his friendship group really protected him.

I hope your wee fella doesn't go harsh on himself and also make sure he's eating plenty of protein 🍗🧀🐓

How can 3 meatballs, a small.portion of pasta and one slice of garlic bread be enough for 4 people ?!

My nearly 3 year old would eat a good 80-90% of that.

It’s a difficult age because he’s probably not far off a growth spurt. Get him researching a healthy diet (80/20 rule) as a way of improving his performance in sport is the way forward & getting him coming up with 1-2 meals per week with high levels of protein and vitamins.

I weigh pasta to end up with the right amount. 75g for a standard adult portion and 50g for a child. A 12 year old boy I would do an adults portion for. That doesn’t look like a very filling plate of food to me. So I would suspect he’ll be hitting the cupboards later which obviously won’t help with his weight concerns. I would give him more filling meals and keep snacks to fruit/nuts etc.

@Notmetoo she’s taking the piss out of the many competitive under-eaters on MN/those who claim to feed a family of four for a week on one roast chicken etc

And... this is the reason why nearly a quarter of children in the UK are not just overweight, but obese.

I have a sporty DD16 and she does so much sport she struggles to eat enough and we have had to add protein sports drinks to keep her going.

OP it's worrying that others think he's overweight (they shouldn't be teasing him) but also by 12 he should not have that much puppy fat, you should be able to see his ribs.

Maybe even though he's doing team sports it's not enough. Kids should be doing an hour of exercise a day. I've been amazed at how much exercise my kids can do and even through I though I was sporty at high school I only played a team sport and did no where near what my kids do.

It's also not just what he has for dinner but the rest ofnhis diet as well.

I'm so sad and angry to read your update OP... kids are horrible but the parents are shocking.

Please be rest assured that he will have a growth spurt and all even out. I think the portion is tiny (though looks lovely) and the last thing you want to go is restrict food intake.

I would recommend signing up to a gym / swimming etc. Encourage him to be confident with his body. People will always be dickheads whether you are tall, short, skinny etc but how you handle the comments is key.

Also remind him getting fit takes time.

That's not enough. My dd12 trains 5-6 days a week and competes. Her dinner this evening was a full size plate with a third rice, third homemade 3 bean chilli, third broccoli and 2 slices of garlic bread. She's slim and tall. After training she'll have 2 slices of wholes meal toast, banana and a yoghurt.

Protein protein protein.

Keeps him fuller and helps the muscle repair/growth he will be going through as he grows.

Doing some weights will help him reduce those podgy bits much more than loads more sport or cardio will.

It’s not enough for dinner. My 10 year old daughter would ask where the rest of her meal was.

I think you need to focus more on filling up on healthy foods, than trying to make portion sizes smaller. He’s just going to end up snacking on rubbish and the problem will get worse.

That definitely is a side plate.

It doesn't matter how close up you take a photo. The piece of garlic bread is literally hanging off the edge!!

This is what a slice of garlic bread on a real dinner plate looks like...

My 2 year old eats more pasta. All these cucumbers- they are not filling nor very nutritious.

Why arent you feeding him?

Let the poor boy eat.

I'd swap the bread for more meat and the iceberg and cucumber for better veg.

Protein, agree with @Woush with adding Lentils and pulses.

My son was like yours, we looked at what he was eating, swapped to packed lunch, noticed the extra snack after school and swapped it to Protein. Looked at meal times and added more veg, checked what he was drinking.

And started C25K.

Good luck

My 3 & 4 year old eat a bigger portion than that. He needs more protein.