Is this an appropriate portion for DS12?

[JacksonPercy]

DS12 is trying to get a bit fitter as he competes in a sport and wants to get better. He’s tall for his age (around 5 ft 5ish) and isn’t a skinny build, he’s not heavy but he’s got a little bit of podge around his middle/torso (you wouldn’t really notice with clothes on). He’s got a good diet overall, likes fruit and vegetables and loves trying new foods but he does have a big appetite so I’m trying to make sure his portion size is right.

I’ve attached a photo of tonight’s dinner - it’s most certainly not “insta worthy” but I swear it’s tasty 🤣! It’s a medium size plate, half with lettuce and cucumber, around 20ish pasta shells, 3 beef meatballs and a slice of garlic bread with some cheese on top. The sauce is just passata mixed with herbs and he’ll have a cup of semi skimmed milk. Does this seem reasonable? If he‘s hungry after he’ll have a granola yoghurt tub thing/fruit/oat biscuits.

He’s got extra training sessions/running plans in place for extra physical activity and I just want to add that this is all led by him, I would never restrict his diet or anything like that or force exercise - he genuinely just wants to do better at his sport. I eat like a horse and don’t put on weight and I’ve never competed in sport so I haven’t had to think about this kind of thing.

I’d be starving and I’m not a growing boy! If he wants to get fitter at that age he should simply be getting tons of exercise.
*edited because I didn’t read your post properly which infuriates me when other people do it! I see he’s planning to do extra exercise so great for him! I’d gently suggest he starts with that before reducing what he eats, or he’s going to end up getting tired and hungry and will probably then fill up on snacks!

It’s definitely not a side plate, just a really close up photo as the kitchen is a mess.

I didn’t want to go into too much detail but he’s been being called fat at school and even his friends have “fun” nicknames about him being fat that he laughs along with but I can tell it makes him uncomfortable. His sport is a team sport, he plays for two teams - one he will end up not being played in for being too slow, the other has a few parents at the weekend making very clear digs about his weight from the sidelines (along with other boys). He’ll be devastated if he’s dropped.

I know loads of kids eat 10x more and are built like a rake, I was one of them and still am but he’s not - he has a belly and slight moobs and back fat rolls. You can’t see them in clothes because he’s wearing a bigger size but he gets grief in the changing rooms for it. I expected a growth spurt to sort it out but it’s been over a year now. Do I just ignore it and tell him not to worry, it’ll sort itself out?

Please don’t think I am causing this, he has been upset over his fitness and body image since starting high school, I genuinely don’t care, it’s him who has brought it up and I just laughed it off and told him he’s not fat at all. It’s really hard to win when you don’t have a rake thin child, people go on and on about how it’s the parents but I genuinely don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

DS (13) has just demolished this bowl of sausage pasta - that was 100g. He'd be starving if he had what your DS had.
(also not insta worthy but not helped by the fact it's DH's portion which is currently in the microwave waiting for him to get in so has congealed slightly!)

My very sporty ds would have had that then dinner at that age! Why no green vegetables?

That is not enough food.
20 pasta tubes?????

Lots of sporty DS’ with hollow legs already on this thread. Where are the dainty DD’s with the appetite of a sparrow?

if he wants to tone up, which is how you should be approaching this he needs plenty of actual veg, complex carbs/whole grains and lean protein. That looks like the meal Sandra from accounts has on weight watchers days (sorry Sandra), there's so little actual nutrition there.

@ShirleyPhallus "I will go against the grain, I think this is a huge portion for one person - we’d serve that size plate as a sharing dish between four including two tall sporty teens and my tall handsome husband and I’d be too stuffed to eat anything the next day!"

You could add a hearty soup, an even huger salad or some crusty bread....

I should quantify my kids - because maybe I have overweight or skinny kids?

DD19 is 5'5 muscular, toned, fit. Gym bunny, swimmer and footballer. She would eat 2-2.5 ladles full and be happy

DD18 is 5'9 toned, fit, on the skinner side. Footballer, swimmer. I'd serve him 2.5 ladles full, he'd sometimes leave a bit

DS14 is 6'1 fit, toned, developing a muscular look. Footballer. I'd serve him 3 ladles full. He's eat it all and be asking if he can cook himself chicken and chips 2h later.

DD9 is overweight (I should add all the others were at her age). If I served her 3 ladles she'd eat it. I'd give her 2 ladles and a litre of squash on the side.

No child should diet unless medically advised to do so.
Teen boys need a lot of calories. But make them decent ones.
Once he starts to grow and go through puberty he will lose the fat.
Please don't encourage food reducing. Ever.

And shame on those parents making digs. Outrageous.

My 5/6 year old have this size of meal for dinner and there not big there perfectly healthy and diet for there age maybe double this I would say x

I think the problem is the salad is just lettuce and cucumber so not filling at all, and the rest isn’t great.

Pasta and garlic bread is just refined carbs, the won’t fill him for long and he doesn’t need the garlic bread as well as the pasta. He needs lots more protein to actually keep him full, 3 meatballs isn’t enough. You could get rid of the salad and really bulk out the pasta sauce as a PP said?

That is definitely a side plate - what is the diameter?

If he's a bit chubby it's because his meals aren't filling him up and he's snacking on rubbish - which you've said he is.

Protein protein and more protein. He'll feel
Fuller and not eat sugary rubbish. Wholemeal pasta, half a dozen meatballs, add some lentils. And cook a decent bloody pasta sauce - three meatballs and one spoon of pasatta (and ready grated cheese?) isn't it!

Have him meet with a dietitian who can talk to him about sport and fueling your body in healthy ways. Your initial post made it sound like he wasn’t overweight but your second post sounds as though maybe he isn’t a healthy weight. Puberty can help but many overweight kids become overweight teens and then overweight adults.

He may also need some counselling to deal with the body image issues but you don’t address those by helping him diet or restrict. He may need some different training to improve his fitness if he is trying to get better at his sport.

That's about the size of my 5 year old daughters portion!

He needs better veg and a lot more protein and less carbs. Even still that's not making him fat. What is he eating for snacks and pudding?

Well no he won't suddenly lose the excess n e he starts growing or no fat child would ever become a fat adult

But that looks stupid small for a 12 year old

Half the plate veg quarter carbs and quarter protein as a rough balance

That’s a very small dinner for a growing lad.

My DS is 12 and same height and he would eat way more than that!

He does some sports but nothing major, currently seems like a bottomless pit but still skinny.

I try make sure he gets enough protein otherwise he fills up on snacks.

Carb heavy and not enough protein.

I actually think the portion is about right though, just loose the garlic bread and replace with more meatballs!

I’ve got three boys. All a healthy weight, though at times (age 10ish) 2 of them filled out a bit - just before shooting up.

that doesn’t look enough food.

It doesn't look enough food to me. I would at double the number of meat balls at least

i don’t think you should totally ignore the weight gain as some posters are saying. Yeah some kids gain a bit of fat before they go upwards but rolls isn’t just a bit of baby fat its overweight and how he deals with it will set him up for life.

i also think you are looking in wrong places. No kid is getting fat of a diet like that even if he eats big portions. Did you say he snacks? That needs to stop. However I would try to think of things to add to his diet rather than remove. He should be so full from good healthy food that he doesn’t fancy the rubbish.

Look to increase his fibre content and make sure he’s getting lots of protein. Try and reduce white carbs. This will help his appetite and his energy levels for all his sports.