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Original poster

What is one hill you will die on?

833 replies

whitetip · 03/12/2023 12:59

One opinion that you have that will never waver, no matter what?..

OP posts:
theDudesmummy · 03/12/2023 18:33

@Terfosaurus so sorry that happened to you, and I would like to hear that PP's answer to that, and also to a client I saw recently who was raped by her stepfather when aged 11 and fell pregnant, and fully blamed by her mother for it having happened. (Yes, she did have a termination and yes, she was taken into care).

Naptrappedmummy · 03/12/2023 18:35

theDudesmummy · 03/12/2023 18:25

@Naptrappedmummy saying that you believe "all adults should stand on their own two feet" and not seeing why that attitude is a problem is pretty much the definition of privilege (and smacks of some other things with rather nastier names too). There is a hill for me too @mantyzer

What privilege do you assume I have?

SouthLondonMum22 · 03/12/2023 18:35

bluekelebek · 03/12/2023 18:28

Your hill and all. But not even if a 12 year old child was raped by a family member? Surely.

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The response I usually see to this by people like pp is 'but the baby is innocent', 'it isn't the baby's fault' etc with no thought or consideration to the actual born child.

theDudesmummy · 03/12/2023 18:38

The privilege of living a life with no understanding that there are many many reasons, temporary or permanent, that adults might not be able to "stand on their own two feet", just because you can, and have presumably never had that ability taken away from you. Long may you retain the ability, but don't assume things about others.

PaperLanterns · 03/12/2023 18:38

That parents have stopped parenting children under the guise of gentle parenting and we are now experiencing the full effects of this with overly anxious children who can’t behave in school.

They are scared. They are sad. They are over stimulated. They are poorly nourished. They can’t have conversations. They don’t read.

housethatbuiltme · 03/12/2023 18:39

Tiredalwaystired · 03/12/2023 18:24

My kids HAD to learn to swim.

my youngest HATED it for ages. But we persevered. Took a break from it when it got very challenging, then got one to one lessons to gain her confidence before moving to a group session where eventually she excelled and now loves to swim.

It was too important a life skill to let slide and no matter how long it took I was not prepared to give up.

I can't swim... I know how to but I physically can't more than half a pool length.

My lungs swell shut (same process as anaphylaxis) when I engage in swimming or running, its called a bronco-spasm and I have gone into cardiac arrest due to it before.

No amount of sticking at it or practice will ever fix that. Luckily I have made it 35 years without ever needing to swim or run for my life so I'm doing fine. Just sucks I can't do things like diving which I would love to try.

Naptrappedmummy · 03/12/2023 18:39

theDudesmummy · 03/12/2023 18:38

The privilege of living a life with no understanding that there are many many reasons, temporary or permanent, that adults might not be able to "stand on their own two feet", just because you can, and have presumably never had that ability taken away from you. Long may you retain the ability, but don't assume things about others.

Then you presume wrong. You would feel quite embarrassed for assuming all that if you knew me.

theDudesmummy · 03/12/2023 18:39

@SouthLondonMum22 and no thought whatsoever to the health of the child who has been raped.
Unborn child: must have all rights.
Existing child: who cares?

Naptrappedmummy · 03/12/2023 18:40

PaperLanterns · 03/12/2023 18:38

That parents have stopped parenting children under the guise of gentle parenting and we are now experiencing the full effects of this with overly anxious children who can’t behave in school.

They are scared. They are sad. They are over stimulated. They are poorly nourished. They can’t have conversations. They don’t read.

Yes!!!!!!!

heartsinvisiblefury · 03/12/2023 18:41

Gingerbreadtreehouse · 03/12/2023 18:24

Abortion is wrong. I've looked at every pro-choice argument under the sun but nothing cam convince me that it's right.

Abortion is not wrong. You are.

theDudesmummy · 03/12/2023 18:42

@Naptrappedmummy you were there one who said that you were prepared to die on the hill of the belief that all adults should "stand on their own two feet". I presume from that that you possess said metaphorical feet and the capability to stand on them, and that you disapprove of anyone who does not.

SouthLondonMum22 · 03/12/2023 18:42

theDudesmummy · 03/12/2023 18:39

@SouthLondonMum22 and no thought whatsoever to the health of the child who has been raped.
Unborn child: must have all rights.
Existing child: who cares?

Exactly.

Naptrappedmummy · 03/12/2023 18:42

theDudesmummy · 03/12/2023 18:42

@Naptrappedmummy you were there one who said that you were prepared to die on the hill of the belief that all adults should "stand on their own two feet". I presume from that that you possess said metaphorical feet and the capability to stand on them, and that you disapprove of anyone who does not.

I believe everyone does. And telling them they don’t is badly letting them down.

theDudesmummy · 03/12/2023 18:44

They really don't, believe me. Have you not heard of disease, just to give one example?

Naptrappedmummy · 03/12/2023 18:45

theDudesmummy · 03/12/2023 18:44

They really don't, believe me. Have you not heard of disease, just to give one example?

Yes, I’m chronically unwell.

IncompleteSenten · 03/12/2023 18:48

SoreAndTired1 · 03/12/2023 16:27

And anti-women posts like yours.

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Menomeno - I'm sorry your child is afraid, I wouldn't want any child to live in fear.

If you are being completely honest, is it women they are afraid of? Or logically are the group to have reason to be afraid of? Because statistically speaking a trans woman is far more at risk of verbal abuse and physical harm from men than from women. It's men that beat up transwomen, not women. It's men that are there yelling the threats and making trans women feel unsafe. It's men that are sexually assaulting trans women, not women. Men are the risk. Men are the threat. Men posing as trans women are the threat. Men who use a false claim of being trans in order to access women's spaces for nefarious reasons are the threat. To women and to trans women.

If anything, women and trans women should unite against these men because they are the reason women are afraid of trans women being in, to use the old chestnut as an example, women's toilets. Not because we think arrggghh it's a trans woman, save me... but because men are lying in order to assault us. Men are playing at being women when it suits them. Your child has nothing to fear from women and everything to fear from those men who will look at them and not like what they see and hurl abuse at them or worse.

If trans women are women then their allegiance should be with women. They should be outraged that some men are (and they are. It happens.) using a fake claim of having gender dysphoria in order to get their thrills.

We are not the problem here. Men are. We are saying we matter too, let's all have spaces, don't take ours away, add more spaces so we can all have our needs met

Yet that is apparently more hateful than the behaviour of men which is mainly them saying look at that person, I don't like what I see - I'm going to beat them up.

usual namalt /nawalt /natpalt yadda yadda disclaimer.

Support your child to pinpoint the actual danger to be afraid of and to speak out against it.

theDudesmummy · 03/12/2023 18:48

But, and this is your point clearly, despite that you are able to stand on your own two feet". That is great, and I am glad for you, and admiring of you, and all the people with hardships and adversity who can do so, despite everything. But, not everyone can.

Mariluisa · 03/12/2023 18:48

Inastatus · 03/12/2023 18:22

The correct way to hang toilet roll is always ‘over’ never ‘under’.

Yes that’s the only way. I don’t know if it’s the hill I’d die on as it hasn’t come to that, but I may have changed rolls to ‘over’ more than once when out and about ……

theDudesmummy · 03/12/2023 18:49

Gives me nostalgia for a friend I had many years ago who made it her mission on earth to change the toilet rolls around everywhere she went.

PlipPlopChoo · 03/12/2023 18:50

Anything taller than Ben Nevis probably. I am a shit hill walker.

ToWhitToWhoo · 03/12/2023 18:50

Cumberbiatch · 03/12/2023 15:21

That the patriarchy has done a massive number on women by scaremongering out of all proportion on trans issues. I agree that women should have single-sex spaces, but I'm stunned at how much this issue has overtaken all others in discussion about feminism and women's rights. Even on this thread, and definitely on the feminism discussion board, there is far more anger and anxiety about trans people than there is about FGM, public spending cuts that literally endanger the lives of women, the treatment of women by the Taliban, even violence against women and the pitifully low rates of CPS charges against rapists, sex abusers and those who perpetrate violence against women. This isn't whataboutism- I think that a discussion about trans rights is important- But I don't think the obsession with it is helpful to the cause of women. Roe vs Wade was overturned whilst we were distracted by this.

THIS!

In this connection, I think there is far too much preoccupation - on both sides- with so-called 'TERFs.'

There aren't that many radical feminists around, 'trans-exclusionary' or otherwise. What there are lots of, is reactionary misogynists. (Some of whom are even female.) Not as many in the UK as in America; not as many in America as in Iran or Afghanistan. But plenty of them everywhere!

While safe spaces for women are important, the biggest problem for most girls and women in most places is denial of access to mixed spaces. Denial of equal pay; of career opportunities; of reproductive rights; of the right even to education in some places. Being forced into early marriage; being treated as the guilty party if raped. Female genital mutilation in too many countries.

In this country, we are lucky to have most of the same legal rights as men (and that's very recent -e.g. marital rape wasn't recognized as a crime in law until 1994); but that doesn't mean that we always have the same rights in practice! And we have to be careful not to be manipulated by misogynists who use the 'trans' situation as an excuse for supporting segregation of women and rigid demands for conformity to sex roles (and often treating homosexuality as a crime),

megletthesecond · 03/12/2023 18:51

Energy saving street lights are useless for pedestrians and they need to be changed back. I feel so vulnerable since our council changed the lights over.

Flamingo68 · 03/12/2023 18:52

Ebokebok · 03/12/2023 13:31

Yes it does and you should therefore know that you never put a coma before and 🙈

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Oxford comma

SpeculatingRooks · 03/12/2023 18:52

@Tessisme
I think English might not be Kristoff's first language

What is one hill you will die on?
Hayliebells · 03/12/2023 18:55

That all income should be taxed at the same rate as PAYE. Fuck loopholes that allow wealthy people to pay less as a percentage of their income than, say, a nurse. Robbing bastards.