I would like to make a complaint about this product called Menopause

[learieonthewildmoor]

When I was first informed that the product was a replacement for the frankly stupid Menstruation, I was quite excited and looked forward to it immensely.
I was not aware that I would have to accept installation of Perimenopause and all its accompanying attachments: weight gain, being hot ALL THE TIME, insomnia, increased sensitivity to allergens, brain fog, incredibly heavy periods.
My skin became very dry for 10 years. Then last year I apparently became a teenager again. I have had to change ALL of my makeup and skin products to accomodate this. While not expecting financial compensation, I am making a request in the strongest terms that these automatic updates cease.
I was not informed that giving up caffeine and alcohol would also be included in the package. Needless to say, I would not have accepted delivery had I known.
The actual cessation of Menstruation has been quite satisfactory, but I would like to suggest that the product needs a revamp - indeed, a complete overhaul to eliminate the extras. Some indication that the product is a long term installation and not a one off would also be a great improvement in product information.

I seem to have installed the Loss of Libido as well as insomnia, feeling too hot, and irrational irritability. Oh and unexpectedly Dissolving into Tears is a new variant.

Loss of libido - solved by testosterone
Heart palpitations and depression - hrt
infernal itching - fexofenfafafafa (or something like that)
insomnia - nytol

So yes, I agree, but no need to suffer

Does anyone have the address to return this item please? I'm spending too much on tena lady thank you very much.

Is anyone else affected with processing issues due to a bug called Brain Fog ?

I can't remember 🤯

I’ve downloaded a patch onto my bum which helps with some of my malfunctions but I’m still not quite there yet.

🤣🤣🤣

I have discovered a hidden update that initialises a hitherto unused selfish mode. It is bewildering yet awesome.

🤣🤣🤣 I would like to nominate this for classics, excellent 👌

I would also like to complain, the night mode in particular is making LED lights far too bright and driving in the dark has now becoming a headache and vertigo inducing glitch in the system

It's so weird, isn't it. After a decade of dry arms and legs and hair and slathering on the thickest of creams, suddenly arms and hair are lovely and soft, no conditioner or creams needed! But my belly skin is looking dry. Why there and why now?

I’ve heard some men who have models with the issue you describe simply hit Delete and get a newer model.

Brilliant post op. I'd have it framed and put on the wall. Suffering a bit today ( with Meno related issues) and it gave me a giggle, thankyou. You write well.

One upside. The ability to stop your husband at 100 paces with the death glare. It is one of the updates that men learn to watch out for and back of fast when it happens.

Does anyone know how I can fix the glitch in version 3.1 of Menopause (the 2022 update)?

When I installed it, the instructions clearly said "when the 'Procrastination' part of the update is running, you must not pause, stop, rewind or shut down otherwise you could cause irreparable damage".

Unfortunately I did all of those (because I couldn't decide which one would be best😉) and am now seemingly unable to get past this 'Procrastination' update because it keeps repeating the same thing over and over for months at a time, even when I shut down and restart.

Will a good dousing in alcohol work?

Sometimes you can deal with this malware by installing a patch. I use one called Evorel 75 and you can download it via an app.

The accompanying product leaflet should also have made it clear in particular that the "hot flushes" element remains ongoing indefinitely and is not (as had been indicated by the advance publicity) a temporary effect. 😡😰

I would like to complain about an unexpected glitch whereby my menstruation terminated and menopause commenced but at the same time my two teenage DDs commenced menstruation.

This means I am still forced to pay for menstruation products, deal with laundry issues and passively experience severe menstruation symptoms each month while navigating my own full time menopause experience.

I was searching for a word in class the other day... you know, the guy who wrote it...

"Shakespeare, miss?"

Yep. Totally awol from my brain.

There appears to be only two small elements of this product that actually work, and I find them very useful in day-to-day life. Of what do I speak? The tolerance switch and the bullshit radar of course.

Oh is this why I'm suddenly light sensitive? Ffs .
Also loud noise sensitive.
Also random aches and sharp pains for no reason. I've been at work for 5 hours today. I got up once and my ankle was agony, walked around a while. Made it back to my seat 30 minutes later still in agony, limping and saying ouch, ouch. And five minutes later pain gone. Set off home and knee on other leg agony.
I dont like this upgrade and I cant afford air con for the almost permanent hot flushes. I am however saving a ton on heating bills this year.
Yeah whatever this update is, I wanna go back to the original me thanks.

I wouldn't recommend alcohol unless you have a different model to mine. Takes me a day to get over it at least. I think, its been a while.

Handhold 💐

Also I give you chin hairs, what fresh hell are these?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ace.