Let's Write A Christmas Movie!

[mylittleyumyum]

I'll start -

Ally has just inherited her Grandpaw's farm in the sticks. She plans to take some time off from her high flying job and commitment phobe partner to go and take stock of the building and sell up....

Is this a euphemism?

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff absolutely not!! It’s good ole wholesome baking. Of course they get flour and icing sugar everywhere.

And make eyebrow raising noises whilst eating said cookies

Ally lies on her bed in her tartan pyjamas and phones her best friend . Her best friend advises Ally to go with her heart.

Allys boyfriend forces a kiss on to her, witnessed by her new love, peering from behind a Christmas tree. He had come to clear the air with Allys. He storms off, before seeing Allys push of the commitment shy city boyfriend, the unwanted kisser, leading to a further misunderstanding.

Stop spoiling my wholesome image of baking cookies!! 😱

Trevs ex wife turns up and it seems her and Blake know each other quite well

I thought she was dead?

Isn’t the wife dead? As there must be a motherless child without being complicated by ex wives so they can truly live happily ever after?

Meanwhile tinkley eyed Sandy is getting cosy with Joan who runs the local coffee shop. Joan wasn't looking for love since her husband of many years died but there's something about Sandy...

I note they never do a sequel to the Christmas Movie with the Blended Family where Mom ends up resenting New Dad for being a feckless numpty (even though all the signs were there) and daughter is really fucked up because this is Dad's 3rd attempt at living with new GF.

Surely it’s Trevs sister in law, Crystal, sister of dead wife.
She's the infamous vamp who always has full face of makeup, figure hugging outfits and wears 4 inch heels even in the snow.
Crystal has always had a soft spot for Trev, specially since he inherited his wife’s multi million pound advertising agency.

Dog. We need a puppy for the daughter for Christmas.

Ally decides to go for a long walk to clear her troubled mind.
The weather deteriorates, though Ally looks charming with wet hair.
She isn't really looking where she is going, and falls down a rocky slope.
She realises that she has sprained her ankle, but bravely tries to scramble up the slope.
She hears a horse snicker, and a strong calm voice telling her she will soon be safe.
Through the rain appears the handsomest man she has ever seen...
He lifts her to safety from the rocks.....

And then she wakes up in bed.

Turns out she's got concussion. It wasn't a handsome young man...

Trevs precocious daughter sings one of Sandys old hits in the only cafe in the town, other not named children bust into song too ( they had been rehearsing secretly ) all wearing matching hats jumpers and gloves
Old Sandy suddenly looks round realises he is an old carmudgeon and he takes waitress Joan in a waltz around the cafe que lots of laughing when they almost knock over the beautifully decorated tree. He then becomes Trev and Ally’s best friend happy to open any fete or judge any competition, opening up his humongous house for everyone on Christmas Day, where magically all the food turns up ( but no one’s gone to the shops or cooked it)

She has lost her memory and can't remember either leading man.

.... We now add another hour to the film as we see her fall in love with Trev all over again, as city bf has flounced off to attend to very important business in the city.

There's a montage of wholesome dates... Sly glances and lots of snowflakes on noses wearing a cute bobble hat.

Oh how could I have forgotten the cute bobble hat and gloves set!

And the dodgy bloke knitted sweated.

*Knitted sweater even

Ooh, can Trev deliver some lambs? Or baby reindeers??

As a Marketing Consultant in the city, Ally would never dream of having a kink out of place in her sleek bob... But in the country she loves a soft wave and a coy smile. Oh Ally!

Have we had bellringer or church bells yet?

The usual bell ringer is sick so Ally volunteers, unbeknownst so has Trev, they accidentally get locked in the bell tower

Ally somehow needs to stumble across a letter from her (dead?) Mother advising her about the important things in life, grabbing happiness while she has the chance, and realizing that city life is meaningless. Maybe this happens before she goes out and twists her ankle, and it's Trev who rescues her and it all falls into place in her mind.. they clear up their misunderstanding(s), and the cue the successful fete followed by the big Christmas scene at old dudes house?

Meanwhile, the snow swirls around the Californian bell tower as a storm descends, and a power cut hits. The pair of them stumble around the tower, feeling their way tentatively across the cold stone walls in the pitch black, being careful to avoid plummeting backwards down the steep stone tower steps. Suddenly Ally reaches forwards and finds herself reaching for what she believes to be a candle, wrapped in cloth.