Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Police visiting my old address asking for me - why?

212 replies

DorsetandBeyond · 21/11/2023 14:26

My ex-neighbour has contacted me to let me know that the police have visited their house (and presumably my old address too) trying to locate me.

I haven't lived at the address for a decade. Ex-neighbour was asked by police if she could contact me (we are friends on social media, although only in very occasional contact) and request that I ring 101. I've rung 101, they asked for my details and current address, and confirmed that there was something on the system but couldn't say what it was. Just said that the relevant dept would be in touch with me as soon as possible.

I can't think what on earth it could be related to, especially where it would be linked to such an old address and not my current address. I've never been witness to a crime, to my knowledge.

So, what are the possible reasons for a police visit to your house? And I'm thinking particularly of a visit to a very old address like this, which suggests that it can't be something current.

Any ideas, knowledge from police officers or those in the know, or accounts of similar experiences would be very welcome. I'm worrying about one or two family members that I've lost touch with in the last few years, which is making me feel really anxious that it might be related to them, but I'm sure there must be other reasons.

OP posts:
Darkbutstarrynight · 21/11/2023 20:49

@CrapGoat Plenty of other things including the update they posted....and was worth worrying about

Fraaahnces · 21/11/2023 21:03

So sorry to hear your news @DorsetandBeyond. While I am pleased you are not wanted for anything nefarious - accidentally or not, it also makes me sad to hear that your relative passed away alone. Going to call my aged uncle this evening to check in.

CloverHilla · 21/11/2023 21:05

Sorry to hear you've had bad news, take care of yourself at this time 💐

Perhaps a timely reminder to us all, to reach out to those we may have lost touch with but want to check in on.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Calliopespa · 21/11/2023 21:34

Catapultaway · 21/11/2023 14:40

Could be anything, you would have thought if it was crime related or an emergency / death they would have asked your neighbour for the contact details and not request you get in touch.
Hope it's nothing serious, though imagine stressful waiting.

Yes I think it sounds less urgent. We had police come for an ex resident and we also sometimes get mail for him that looks like debt collection. Could it be an old bill that went unnoticed? I got the fright of my life the first time they called as DH was driving some distance and I thought he’d had an accident. It may well be something relatively minor so don’t panic. You sound as though you have a clear conscience!

Womencanlift · 21/11/2023 21:35

Sorry for your loss OP

Maybe @MNHQ could add to your title or OP to read the updates before commenting?

Otherwise you will get a load of comments making suggestions without them RTFT like the last few

CloverHilla · 21/11/2023 21:38

Calliopespa · 21/11/2023 21:34

Yes I think it sounds less urgent. We had police come for an ex resident and we also sometimes get mail for him that looks like debt collection. Could it be an old bill that went unnoticed? I got the fright of my life the first time they called as DH was driving some distance and I thought he’d had an accident. It may well be something relatively minor so don’t panic. You sound as though you have a clear conscience!

Please, please, please read the OP's update!

She has lost a member of her family.

@mnhq can you add to the title to say Please Read All OP Posts.

Calliopespa · 21/11/2023 21:40

Oh sorry OP I did click see all but for some reason I had to actually scroll right through to get your sad update. Wish I’d been right and it was an old unpaid invoice . Condolences

Xmaswomble · 21/11/2023 22:04

As sad as a death is, if you’ve lost contact and not been in touch for years then is it going to actually hit you hard?

Calliopespa · 21/11/2023 22:05

Xmaswomble · 21/11/2023 22:04

As sad as a death is, if you’ve lost contact and not been in touch for years then is it going to actually hit you hard?

Was that necessary?

Xmaswomble · 21/11/2023 22:07

I hadn’t actually read the update when I posted so it may have sounded insensitive. But the thought still stands.

Sk8erboi · 21/11/2023 22:07

Xmaswomble · 21/11/2023 22:04

As sad as a death is, if you’ve lost contact and not been in touch for years then is it going to actually hit you hard?

Blimey.. what a dick.

Xmaswomble · 21/11/2023 22:09

I’m sorry but someone you’ve seen 10 times in your life and didn’t know you’d moved 10 years ago. It’s not a personally sad situation surely, as sad as it is that that person has died.

Hanlonsamazer · 21/11/2023 22:17

Xmaswomble · 21/11/2023 22:04

As sad as a death is, if you’ve lost contact and not been in touch for years then is it going to actually hit you hard?

What a knob. I didn’t know Barry fucking Chuckle but he’d been there my whole life. When he died, it affected me.

I thought I was an emotional desert but you may take the baton from me and run far and fast with it. Please.

LilyPAnderson · 21/11/2023 22:28

Must be worse for the person who died and wasn't kept in contact with much and wasn't given latest contact details.

Xmaswomble · 21/11/2023 22:53

I didn’t know Barry fucking Chuckle but he’d been there my whole life. When he died, it affected me

@Hanlonsamazer please tell me this is satire. A joke. Otherwise it’s the downright weirdest and most non-sensical thing I’ve read on here.

there must be some kind of award this can be nominated for 😳

Hermitlife · 21/11/2023 22:55

I had this happen recently, The police were looking for me to find a way to get in touch with a family member abroad. They wanted to speak to said family member about an ex partner from decades before as they are building against him. I was mortified when my old neighbour got in touch . The officer did apologise for the way they had to do it.

Xmaswomble · 21/11/2023 22:58

@Hermitlife was Barry Chuckle involved?

Sugarfree23 · 21/11/2023 23:08

Xmaswomble · 21/11/2023 22:09

I’m sorry but someone you’ve seen 10 times in your life and didn’t know you’d moved 10 years ago. It’s not a personally sad situation surely, as sad as it is that that person has died.

You have no clue as to the reason why this person didn't see the Op often and had lost touch but they must be reasonably important or they wouldn't have the Op as NOK.

Presumably Op has now got the job of organising a funeral and is sitting reflecting on the lack of contact between her and the deceased.

DorsetandBeyond · 21/11/2023 23:54

@Xmaswomble, it's not as personally affecting as it would be if it was a relative who was very present in my life and I had lots of memories of, so in that sense, I agree - clearly not so hard-hitting. But the reason we didn't see him when I was growing up was because of a deep family rift that had nothing to do with me - it started before I was born but fractured a lot of relationships and continued to have an effect throughout my life. Although I was in touch with him as an adult, a relationship hadn't been built up so it was never the same.

I have a lot of deep sadness about that situation in the family, and I wish things had been different - so I'm very much feeling that at the moment.

Also, he was troubled and a loose cannon. There were things about him which made him difficult for people to be around. He tended to create chaos. He hurt some people close to me. Undeniably he treated some people badly. But he also had significant difficulties in his life from the start. I'm feeling sad about him for the way his life turned out.

@LilyPAnderson He hadn't been replying to messages from me or my sibling in the last couple of years, which is why I'd been starting to feel concerned. He did have our current contact info but just because he had it, doesn't mean the police could find it readily when searching the house. The police went to my old address because they found an old card I'd sent when they were looking for contact info. It was the only thing they could find - but who knows how much time they spent looking? Perhaps he had that card out on display, rather than a more recent one, just because he liked the picture? Who knows.

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 21/11/2023 23:59

That’s very sad OP. Families are complicated and most have threads of heartbreak and regret running through them as well as happier aspects.

JztBlzd · 22/11/2023 00:01

Sorry for your loss OP. You may not have been close but it's always hard when something feels unresolved.

Sugarfree23 · 22/11/2023 00:20

Bless you Op that's just so sad. At least you had contact as adults.

Hope you are OK.

HikingforScenery · 22/11/2023 00:25

Sorry to read this, OP. I hope you’re ok

SheenaShone · 22/11/2023 03:47

My Son had exactly this after he'd moved out of our home ; He called the Police back as requested and was told that he was required to discuss something, but due to confidentiality, he wasn't told what!

Eventually, the 'assigned officer' got in touch with him directly, although not for a week or so, and turns out my Son was being accused of theft, of 'items' from a hotel that he used to work in....he completely denied any involvement;

6 MONTHS later he was told there 'were no charges' and was informed by letter that there was 'insufficient evidence' to proceed.

Not a nice experience and even though my Son called the Police at regular intervals for an update report, he was always told he couldn't have the details of the allegation at it was 'confidential' - ridiculous. Obviously he was very anxious and frustrated not knowing what he was meant to have done wrong for the whole 6 months.

After the horrible wait, my Son found out he had been accused of stealing equipment from the Hotel ( which he had worked at as a holiday job for 2 months, 2 YEARS previously)

He then found out another young woman who had also worked there, had also been under investigation for exactly the same thing; turns out in the end, the owner of the hotel had put in Insurance claims for 'missing' items worth alot of money - mainly kitchen equipment and bedding.

AND even worse, when Son eventually called to enquire re progress, he was told the case had been closed several weeks before but no one had advised him....then the letter came to confirm, but what an unnecessary and anxious wait it was.

So - just an example of how these very worrying things unfold, and how obstructive the Police can be citing 'confidentiality'

DeeKitch · 22/11/2023 15:02

That's what happened