If I had all the money in the world I would have...

[Grumio]

[Rules: you're only allowed to say one thing and please say why]

... a daily visit from the hair dressers on Strictly because I have crap hair and they seem to be able to make miracles happen with everyone.

A personal chef. Beautiful, healthy calorie controlled meals which I just have to turn up and eat. Bliss.

A large plot of land with perfect-for-me house and different gardens. That way I could wander through the different gardens enjoying the plants and smells and temperatures at different times of year. It would obviously have a little lake with a small island and a grotto somewhere.
When you need a bit of escapism it’s all there in buckets.

Immortal cats

No job. It is stressing the heck out of me and I have an arsehole for a line manager. Would be so nice to have some agency over my time and focus!

Dogs- all of them.

More time to read.

I would buy up a terrace of houses and have them all done up for family and my favourite people in the world, and we would have a lovely little community.

A house with a secluded low maintenance garden where I can hear absolutely noone from neighbouring places ever but when I step outside I am somewhere in central London and can walk to a tube in a couple of minutes.

Retired by now

A hitman

But actually a fuck off house leading directly to the beach. One of those that she had in Beaches.

A huge villa in Barbados to which I would fly first class (is that two things?)