Ever see a post so specific that you are sure you know the OP, IRL?

[chessica]

For ages I’ve wondered if friends, family, colleagues, neighbours etc use mumsnet but I suppose most people wouldn’t really say if they did. Recently I’ve seen a really identifying post, which is a very big coincidence if it’s NOT the person I know!!

Got me thinking - how many people have recognised someone?

I recognised someone once. I pmd them and said I knew it was them, just so they knew I knew and could name change if they wanted to. I never stalked them and now it's 15 years ago, I definitely can't remember the username.

He did also include some very obvious lies in that and other threads (I searched his history to be sure that it was him), but then he always did bend the truth!

Do you mean serious, consequential lies or just identifying details? It's common to mention a DS when you actually mean a DD, say he's just turned 7 when she's really almost 8, say you work in accounts when it's actually insurance, your DH spends all weekend away with friends cycling when it's really golf etc.

I do often think about some of the baby name threads, where people are giving their/family full names e.g. "Opinions, please, on Persephone for my baby who is due next month, with a middle name of Clementina. Her siblings are Jocasta Annunciata and Torquil Arbuthnot. Our surname is Fffortescue-Cholmondley-Hetherington, if that makes a difference."

Then again, I presume people who give that much detail would name change before the thread and then again straight afterwards?!

Once.

The other day I was reading a thread and a poster was talking about a situation so specific that I knew it was her. It was to do with a crime in a case in which I am probably going to be called as a witness and she is the victim. She is not someone I know apart from this situation.

There's no way it could be anyone but her. I don't know whether to tell the police about the thread or not.

No but I have an IRL friend on here. Don't know if she's still on here, she knows a lot about my life so wouldn't mind my ramblings, I'll have to ask her if she's still here under NC. She's a lovely person.

I've been on here nearly 20 years. Post almost every day. But have never recognised anyone. Which is a bit disappointing really!!

I name change monthly now so would be surprised if anyone guessed who I was!

I always check the friends threads in the hope it's not me and I haven't inadvertently offended anyone!! None so far...

Surely it depends on what she has posted, and the circumstances. If it’s not a jury trial it’s probably unlikely to be an issue. If it’s jury trial there’s a risk the jury could see it, but it’s still (presumably) anonymous. If you’re uncertain about what to do, talk to the relevant court officials.

Bear in mind that even if all the details seem to match, people change some aspects of their circumstances, so it’s possible you’ve haven’t actually identified the victim after all. I really hope that’s the case, because victims need support and also justice needs to be done. A bit of doubt in your mind would probably be a good thing here.

Other way round 🤗 I've made IRL friends with women I first got to know on here.

It would only take a moderate amount of stalking to identify me, but I'm not really that bothered. A few things could be awkward in the same way as someone reading your diary and taking objection to feelings you were trying to work through in the past (which has also happened!) Anyone who's that readily offended is gonna go off at some point anyway, though.

There are MILLIONS of MNers now. The chances of correctly recognising one individual are pretty slim. That said ... anything that can happen will happen eventually!

@GarlicGrace oddly enough given the thread I think I know you from another forum?

I recognised a woman I used to work with, and it's definitely her.

Been a long time since I was active on other forums! Reddit, sometimes, where I have a related username.

Back in the mists of time, there was a now-defunct forum that I loved; it was small and we met up IRL a few times.

Oh, but was she posting anything intriguing? Please say yes 😈

I recognised someone who fancied my friend. I didn't tell my friend.

She was awful

Why would you have to tell the police?

I have been on here years and generally put the truth but sometimes muddlle details to stay vague. Someone messaged me privately a long time ago convinced I was someone else. They apologised but I did wonder if they believed me!

I once recognised a school mum on here because she posted lots of details about a very specific incident that happened at our small village primary school. I didn't tell her but quite enjoyed reading her comments in the following months!

Yep, a friend posted on here about something that had happened to her whilst we were out together (tale of poor service). It was very specific. I messaged her to ask if it was her post or if someone else had been equally unlucky and she confirmed it was her.

Omg

I sometimes worry that someone I know will think I'm a particular poster because it sounds exactly like me.

To my knowledge, never been outed though. I'm not sure most of these situations are as identifyingly unique as people think.

Yes, someone had the user name “first part of our small postcode mummy” and then posted very specific references to the school our children were at and private school entrance exams and ages of dc : could work out exactly who it was.

@SurprisedWithAHorse me too, especially as I am originally from another country so that is an instantly limiting identifier. (See how I didn’t name the country there!)

Someone told an absolutely wild birth story at a baby group and I was like ‘OMG I read your mumsnet post!’ 😂 she looked mortified and I was pretty mortified too haha

I was once spotted by someone else after writing a post about a specific situation happening at school, was over 10 years ago now.