What Age Did Your Parents Become GPs?

[Lilpastry]

I ask because my parents are 55 and 65 and DHs are both 58. We aren't planning kids for about 3 years or so (been together 8, but only married 1).

Anyway, we get lots of frustrated chat (particularly from DHs parents), about time passing and them being too old to be first time grandparents and what are we waiting for etc.

However, neither of us are even 30 yet! DH will be 32 and I'll be 30 when we start trying. All going to plan, my parents will be around 58 and 68 and his will be 61. I don't see the rush, and would say these are normal ages for GPs?

Meant to add that I started to get nagging comments when DD1 was about 4/5 about having another one. When we did start TTC, it took over a year and was really tough so the comments didn’t help at all.

53 and 64

My Dad was 64 and MIL 55, but my Dad is fitter than my MIL. They both love having him! I think sometimes they are (wrongly) just trying to 'plant a seed'. My Dad went through a phase of telling me I HAD to have another until I made it clear the postnatal anxiety and that it almost split up myself and my partner. Little does he know we are trying again now :-)

I find that absurd. My 17 year old is not a kid, he is an older teen/young man, though legally a child yes. He has worked the summer with me, treated as and paid as an adult. 18/19 is certainly an adult.

My parents were 46 when my brother’s wife had the first grandchild. They had us aged 20 and then 22 when they became parents.
My PIL were 43/36 and then 46/39 when they had their children (coincidentally both sets of parents had their children in 1968 and 1971) and they were 74 and 67 when they became grandparents. They lived until 92 and 86.
My twin brother has just become the first of us to have a grandchild at 55, I’m in no rush thank you. I haven’t even asked my children if they want to have children. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, so be it.

59 and 60, ILs are over a decade older though

My son is everybody’s first/only grandchild. When he was born my mum was 56 and my dad was 65. MIl was 70 and FIL was 72.

I became a Nanny aged 52 - I'm now 59. My mum was 48 when her first GC was born and my dad was 50.

Don't think there are any 'rules', but I definitely understand why the older set of potential GPs are thinking about their mortality...it's perfectly natural to do so. However, their feelings on the matter obviously should not affect your decision to have children! But maybe you could try to understand how they are feeling...it sucks, getting old 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, we get lots of frustrated chat (particularly from DHs parents), about time passing and them being too old to be first time grandparents and what are we waiting for etc.

This would piss me right off. It’s insensitive and rude. You have no idea how your journey into parenthood will be. Their age is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

I'd say thats fairly normal these days yeh. My brother had his baby quite young, he was only 24. My parents were 55 and 58 I think at the time. Then I had my first when they were 60 and 63. They've been young enough to help out a lot. I've just had another this year and they are 65 and 68 now... I do feel like we are pushing it a bit as they've probably not got as much energy as 5 years ago! But they're fine to help with school runs etc. My partners parents are older they're in their 70s but they're both great for their age. I think as long as they're in reasonably good health it's fine. But obviously as they get older and we have more children baby sitting isn't as easy for them, kids are hard work!

My mum was 47 and my dad was 42.
im glad they were this age and I can see so we’re they, because they got to enjoy them and be agile enough to do things and have fun, they’d have them over night and it not being too much because they are still young. Now I can see with my brothers son it takes a toll on them and they say they aren’t as young as they use to be and tire easily so sometimes just want the peace but equally enjoy having him.
life is too short anything could happen in the next couple of years, I’m glad I had mine when I did.

My mum was 73 and Dad 70, both of them are active grandparents, dad goes swimming and camping with my kids and my mum takes them on long walks and trips to the museum.
My grandad was over 80 when I came along and he said he didn’t think he’d have the energy to have be much of a grandad to me - but he was wrong! We were very close, he’d take me to feed the ducks and read to me lots.

DM 68, DD died years ago.

DD in law 71, DSM in law 72.

DC is now 8.

So DH's sister has a DC who is now 30. At the time, DSM in law insisted she was too young for grandchildren. Roll on to the birth of her own daughter's children, now 13 and 11, they did lots with them, after school childcare, days out spending Christmas, and still do, I think.

When our DC came along 6 years later suddenly DSM in law is too old for more grandchildren and we hardly see them, never spent Christmas with them, no video calls, etc.

They're both pretty fit and active, just can't be bothered with us, nearest family, but we see other family far more frequently.

35 and 36 I was 19 when I had my first she's now 17

72! I was an old 1st time mum, wish could’ve had son younger but it just didn’t happen. Would’ve liked my mum to be younger but to be fair she’s not that child friendly so even if I’d had a baby at 18 she wouldn’t have been that involved. They still seem young ages to be grandparents to me! It’s up to you when you have kids not them but also be aware it may not happen as soon as start trying, sadly none of us know what is happening with our fertility until start trying

From me and dw - 78/75 on my side but 50's for their 1st GD (mine are 6th and7th gc) ! On dw side ours are the only GC and they were 61 - and they will have their dg at the drop of a hat !

I love reading this. My in-laws were 74 and 67 when we had our first child and no.2 came along two years later. Our DC have such fond memories of their childhood with them. Going to the park to play in the playground and also to feed the ducks. They saw them every weekend and had a great relationship with them. The children were 18 and 16 when their grandparents died (they lost them within 6 months of each other) older grandparents may not be as active as those who are younger but their influence has only benefitted them from our experience.

So DHs parents are 58 and DH is 29, they started having children at age of 29.
You are 27 now, tell them that in no scenario it is reasonable to expect you to have children earlier then they did in this economy.

Or simply tell them to keep their business outside of your vagina and leave you alone.

When I had my youngest two my father was 61 and 65 and he was worried he wouldn't be as active with them as he'd been with the elder two ( born when he was 49/51) but he's been great. Ds is now 20 and still enjoys camping and walking with his grandad (now 81) and when dd3 (age 15) was on her d of e this year people complained she was walking too fast. She said they should see how fast her grandad walks! Last week she went to the ballet with her 80 year old grandma.

68 and would have been 72.

Why was my comment deleted? Because I referred to a 13-year-old becoming a father as "really grim"?

Fuck me, that's the mildest adjective I could come up with!

My parents turned 58 and 61 when their first grandkids arrived. In laws are the same age, but were 4 years older when they became grandparents as DH is the oldest and I'm the youngest.

I was 37 when I had my son. My parents first grandchild. They were 64 and 69. My dad had a quadruple heart bypass and a further heart surgery after my son was born. He was lucky to make 70. He is for as a fiddle now though and cares for my son 2-3 days a week while I am at work. Never once did my parents pressure for grandchildren. In fact they were 100% sure they would never have them. Pressure is unacceptable.

Hi there, @wannabetraveler . Your previous post was deleted in error. We've reinstated it now.