What is your 6/7 year old's morning/evening routine - am I way off?

[SarahAndQuack]

Long story short: DP and I are splitting up; we've never agreed about various parenting issues, and it's been a factor in the split. I do believe DP is a genuinely caring, committed parent, but I'm not happy with the routines (or lack of routines) that we've ended up in, and I see the split as a good opportunity to introduce some beneficial changes.

I'd love to know about other people's routines, and what you think is really crucial or beneficial. For example, when is bedtime? When is dinner? How do you organise screen time?

I'm lucky in that we live very close to school, so there's no real school run. DD does a couple of after-school activities but is usually out of school at 3.20. I'd really appreciate knowing what you do and what you think is most important.

Thanks!

I have a 7 year old.

Morning:
Up at 7:15, washed, dressed etc.
Out the door by 8 to get to breakfast club

After school:
Finishes at 3
Snack at home, then play
Screen time from 5pm until dinner which is wildly variable depending on evening activities of all the children!
Bed at 8 or 8:30 (bedtime routine is pyjamas, toilet, teeth, story, kids sleep meditation)

So our DS is just turned 6 (August baby in year 2)

He jumps in bed with us for a cuddle and 10 mins TV
Downstairs 07.15 breakfast until 07.30
We do reading, spelling or maths in the morning. (He's fresh and not tired)
We go up at 08.00 upstairs dressed ready for school. Hes ready to leave by 08.20

Evenings - come home 3.30. (Fruit on the way home)
Home - Straight out of uniform.
Tea is at 16.00
Play until 17.30
30 mins TV
18.00 reading and chatting playing until 18.45 which is up to bed.
Story in bed.

I suppose you get the jist but might as well add my 2 pence worth for my DS6

Up at 7.30-Breakfast and TV time (I start work on my laptop at 7.30)
8pm- Dressed
8.40 out the door

Summer time, 9/10 we head to the local park or cafe after school, sometimes until 6pm!

Winter- cafe, football club or home
Sack soon as hes home
dinner around 4/5 ish
TV time together usually for about an hour, (we love the repair shop!) maybe some reading, puzzles, etc

Summer we are hardly home after school- winter is much more of a struggle and we rely on screens more (currently working on this but finding it hard in this weather)

Bath night we headup for a bath at 6, not a bath night up at 6.30. Story and cudddles, lights out at 7

7 year old DS, he has activities every day after school except Wednesday so I let him play his Switch or watch TV for most of the evening on Wednesday, like @SkankingWombat‘s DC he doesn’t get much “free” time during the term so it’s nice to be relaxed about this and not worry he’s getting too much.

Tuesdays and Thursdays he eats dinner after his activity so around 7, on these nights he has a quick carby snack before his activity - a croissant or similar. On the other nights we aim for dinner around 5-5:30 and he can usually go without an after school snack if we are eating at this time.

Bedtime is 7:30pm but we try for earlier on the nights where his activities finish earlier, if he seems tired. Bath or shower alternate nights in the winter.

Up at 7am on school days (awake around 6:30am usually), has to get dressed upstairs straight away, he’s eating breakfast by 7:30am, then I get ready while he plays/fights with other DC, then I brush their hair and teeth before we leave for school, at 8am or 8:15am depending on breakfast club or not (2 days BC per week).

He has two activities on Saturdays which fill the whole morning so unless we have plans to go out in the afternoon, again I’m really relaxed about screen time, I will ask him to turn it off if it’s been on for hours with no break but no set limits.

Sunday we try and get any homework and reading done while his sibling is at an activity, and then it’s either playing/reading/screen time at home or we go out. Both DC are allowed about an hour of TV (Milk Shake, CBBC etc) on weekend mornings in their pjs, but both have activities at 9am on Saturdays so again there’s not much time!

6yo and 9yo here.

6yo is up first and wakes me, we go downstairs,
Bbc cartoons on until 7:30 - kids know it goes off after Bluey. I feed the pets, unload the dishwasher, make coffee, make breakfast, we usually have crepes, porridge, eggy bread, sometimes toast and cereal.
Breakfast together at the table until nearly 8.
Get dressed together upstairs.
Doodle maths on the tablets while I do Dd's hair.
Out to school at 8:30.

Home 3:30, TV / tablets with a snack, they have one piece of fruit and something else, often maltloaf bar type of thing. I have a coffee and read or do some cleaning.
Screens off at 4:30 latest.
They play or draw while I make tea for just before 6pm.
Homework straight after tea, but it's not loads just reading, maybe music practice, Dd does her dyslexia app (a battle).
Then they play.
There are some clubs in the mix, so this is when we are at home.
Bedtime 7:45 6yo, 8:45 9yo, so 9yo watches some family TV in that hour. She doesn't watch morning TV as she's not usually up. I wake her at 7:20.

At the weekend we have longer TV in the morning until maybe 8:30, then the kids are allowed something short after lunch if we are at home. They don't ask for it at other times, they've given that up! We have a family TV dinner on Sat and watch nature docs for example. Currently loving 8 out of 10 bats. Sunday we almost always have a sit down roast.

Sorry sure this is too much detail! I've tried to make an effort around breakfast to set them up right. And to make TV a quality family activity at times.

I have DD 6 and DS 9. Both have similar routine but DD specifically - up at 6.30am and out the house at 7.30am for breakfast club before school. 3 days a week she does after school club so picked up at 5.30, eat at 6/6.30pm then bed for 8pm.
One day a week she's at Rainbows straight from after school club so that's a later meal.

Weekends she does a few activities but tends to be up at same time, 6.30am and bed at 8pm.

DD6 wakes 6:30-7 Watches her tablet while eating breakfast, wakes up hungry most days, dressed, teeth and out the door buy 7:50, goes to breakfast club at 8, though doesn't actually have breakfast there.

Goes to afterschool club Mon-Thurs. Pick up by 4:30. Has activities Monday and Fridays. Has a snack (apple, flapjack, grapes) when she gets home while waiting for tea, Tea around 530. Bath 630, bed 745-8.

School finishes 4. One day she does art club at school and one of us picks up 1730 (put a snack in bag).
Home, plays outside or with toys. Dinner about. Then we usually play a card/board game together or read to wind down before bed. We don’t allow screens but we have Friday night family film night.
Swimming and brownies is one night a week each - we alternate the pick-ups/drop offs with 2 of her friends parents (one week I take all 3 girls then we switch). The pattern is pretty much the same.
Sorry to hear about you separation

DS is 7.

He gets up at about 7am and has breakfast. He can play for a while then it’s time to get dressed and brush teeth. Then he gets the school bus.

He‘s normally home about 4pm. He‘ll do his homework and reading. Then play or watch a bit of TV- depends on his mood and how tired he is. Dinner at 6pm, calming bedtime TV after (clangers etc). At 7pm we go upstairs for showers, PJs, teeth brushing etc. Then some time to play in his room. At about 7.50pm it is time for me to read him a story, then lights off. He listens to stories or music on his Yoto player

I don't think it matters too much what you do when, some DC are early birds, others are night owls, some need more sleep than others, some sleep better after a relaxing bath, others like a shower to wake up, some are messy eaters so it's best to do breakfast before they get dressed for school 😂 Routines are good though as they reduce stress and arguments. It's also good to have a mix of structured activities and chill out time when they can do what they want. Like a PP said, if they are busy, they don't have time for screens so it doesn't matter if that's what they choose to do in their free time. I don't see that it matters if your DD watches TV in the morning if that is what she likes, it doesn't make you late, and she does other things in the evenings.

When mine were that age, they needed to wake up before they were hungry so they showered, got dressed, then we had a relaxed breakfast and chat together before heading to school, maybe a quick recap of spellings on spelling test days.

After school, the rule was as soon as you get in (whether that was after school or after extra curricular activities), lunch box goes in the dishwasher, school bag is unpacked and repacked for the next day along with PE kit/musical instruments etc, school uniform out for the next day.

Then we had a snack and chat in the kitchen (a packed snack on days they went straight to an activity), followed by any homework/music practice/chores (just things like loading the dishwasher/putting laundry away/feeding pets at that age). Some DC might need a rest before tackling homework though. They would have dinner with us later in the evening. They did about 2 or 3 evening activities at that age, some after school, others later in the evening after homework etc. We did some lift sharing so quite often they would have a friend over on activity nights. That worked well as they would play together rather than sit in front of the TV. Once homework/activities were done they did as they wished, play, watch TV or play computer games, have friends over...

Bedtime and story was about 8.30pm.

If you want more structure, less screen time but extra curriculars aren't right for your DD at the moment, you could set aside time for regular activities eg a board game night, play dates, walks, craft/baking/cooking night etc. At that age, one of my DC's friends used to cook dinner with his sister once a week (under supervision).

I have a 7 year old daughter.
7am - wake up, she reads, plays in her room, watches a bit of tv
8am - breakfast (cereal and yoghurt)
9am-3.30pm - school (has school dinners but we pack her snacks of raisins, fruit)
3.30-5.30pm - activities after school three days of the week, ballet, brownies, swimming. On days with no activities she will watch tv/play with her brother
6pm - dinner
6.45pm - tv or if she has homework she’ll do that then
7.30pm - shower, get ready for bed
8pm - story
8.15pm - sleep

DD is nearly 7.

6.45 up
7.30 breakfast
TV for half and hour once dressed
8.30 out the door for school

3.30 home from school, snack and about 40mins TV

Play until dinner at 6, maybe 20 mins TV before dinner if kids are hyper or fractious
Pyjamas at 7
Story and bed at 7.30
Lights out at 8

I don't believe in loads of after school clubs, she does the odd one and has brownies and gym class once a week (gym on Saturdays)

She doesn't really do homework, she's a natural reader so the exception words etc aren't needed but she reads a lot and does quizzes and puzzles

I have a Dd 8 and a Dd 5 and they have the same routine at the moment and have done for a couple of years.

7am wake up.
Breakfast and get ready for school. School at 8:40.

3:15 school pick up either by me (2 days a week) or after school club until 5:30 (3 days). Small snack (fruit or packet of crisps or couple of biscuits or 1 piece of toast)

6pm dinner
6:30 bath
7-7:30 getting ready for bed, teeth etc.
7:30 reading and bed time stories
8:00pm lights out in bed.

Re TV. We only have one day where we are home from school in afternoon as the other days they are at after school club and karate class so on that one day they can watch as much TV between 3:15 and 6pm as they like as long as they do their homework.

Weekends are more fluid but still stick mostly to 8pm lights out.

Most days 7yr old gets in from school around 3.30 and I do dinner early doors for her and her 9yr old sister as they're always immediately starving. Once I've put dinner on she does her homework (reading and spellings) and has a shower and puts a onesie on.

Once back downstairs I serve dinner between 4 and 4.30 and she eats, usually while watching something "proper" on TV like Bluey or something else age appropriate... no YouTube or anything like that as they can get zombiefied in front of it. Then she and her sister play together either downstairs or in one of their rooms til about 6.30, when their dad gets in from work and gets them ready for bed (teeth, tidying up anything in their room that needs tidying, sometimes putting away clean washing etc).

Once 7yr old is ready for bed she has 20 minutes iPad time and after that she's free to read/draw or colour/listen an audiobook til 8.30 and then it's lights out. She is allowed to have an audiobook on while she falls asleep though.

One day she has a club so gets in at 4.30 and everything they eat about 5 but everything else remains the same. One day she and her sister go to my parents when I'm working and she does her homework there and they get back at 6 and everything from 6.30 remains the same.

At the weekend we usually do something in the day on a Saturday and are relaxed about screen time generally. In the evening we all watch something together and from about 8 the girls go upstairs together and play/draw/read/listen to audiobooks. The internet blacks out on 7yr olds iPad at 10 and she goes to bed after that. That applies on Friday nights too.

Sunday day we generally stay in in the morning and catch up with work and do housework or catch up worth work. 7yr old generally does a school project from her schools half termly list of bigger homework actives (last weekend she made a shoebox diorama of the first man to walk on the moon because they're doing space at school). In the afternoon DH takes them to the park or swimming and I make a dinner for us all to have together and the majority of the week we don't get to eat together. After that it's bath and hair wash and bedtime as on a weekday.

My DD is 8, and very similar to many replies here. My only thing is that she’s a bit of a ditherer and it can take ages to get anywhere with her so I don’t allow the TV on in the morning at all - we have the radio on and some days we dance around the kitchen for a bit of fun but I’ve found it much easier for getting her ready! She can take an hour to eat her breakfast so I had to put a stop to it!
I usually don’t put the TV on until after dinner, she does her homework with the radio too and then once done she can watch TV.
Bedtime is 8.30 and working back from that we start getting ready at 8.15. When she’s at her dads every other weekend her routine goes out of the window and she usually comes home grumpy and tired but there’s not much I can do.

Mine are older ( 9 & 12 )
I wake 12 year old at 7am & he goes down & has some fruit & cereal. I get ready and wake 9 year old 7.20am & he sits watching TV with fruit & waffles.
eldest heads to school 8am & youngest comes up to get dressed/ teeth etc. we leave house 8.35am & walk to school.
I collect youngest 3.15pm ( work from home flexi ) home & snack for both DC.
Homework 4pm. Neither DC good at homework in the morning so always evenings. Dinner completely depends on if activity is early or late, so if swimming is 4.30pm then we eat afterwards - always sat at the table, just kids if it’s early or all together if it’s late and DH home.
Dinner earlier if football isn’t until 7pm. Both DC have different training days & times.
I try to get youngest DS in bed by 8.30pm but if he’s at football until 8pm it can be more like 9pm.

Not lots of time for screens so I don’t have to police it too much and I’m happy for a bit of TV in the mornings.

It’s slightly different depends on my 7 evening plans eg swimming, beavers, one after school club and her little sister swimming lesson. So some times dinner is earlier. On night bedtime is getting up is later the next day.

7 - I start switching on land lights
7.20 - wake up, downstairs
7.30 - breakfast while watching newsround
8.00 - get dressed (make bed and tidy for robot hoover

3.20 - school pick up, walk home
3.50 - play with younger sister, read do crafts
4.25 - piano practice
4.30 TV
5 ish dinner (discuss spellings)
play and tidy up
6.00 bath
6.30 supper
7.00 bed, including school reading book and us reading to her. Some times yoto
7.30 lights out.

Homework done at the weekend.

Hi OP,

I’ve just read all your posts.

Another things that stands out for me is helping your child getting dressed. For us I will say remember it’s PE or at the weekend the weather is cold so you probably want long sleeves or a jumper and then help her with her hair. But I would expect her to do the rest herself.

When we get home, they have to unpack their bags/put their stuff away first, then it is homework (including 10 mins reading to themselves) before they can do any leisure activity, be that toys or screens. I usually oversee it whilst I cook dinner.

Snacks vary from day to day. They always get crisps on a Wednesday and on Friday we have a 'starter' when we get home instead of a snack (read: beige finger food from the freezer, such as spring rolls). The other 3 days will be healthier but change with what I have in the house. That might be a babybel, a piece of fruit, or a homemade flapjack. Sometimes it slips into the realms of cheese straws or Cheddar biscuits. Again, I'm fairly relaxed about food as they are very active and eat a healthy breakfast and dinner (lunch is very variable, particularly if they have the hot lunches at school!).

Yes, the activities do add up, although they don't need to cost the earth. Mine do Cubs & Beavers, which is very reasonable, swim with a club (rather than council lessons) and do karate. The 9yo swims 3 times a week for an hour each time, and this works out at £2.81 a session. The 7yo swims once for an hour and this costs more as the £/hr reduces the more you train, but still comes out at a very decent £5.33/hr. The karate is £4.44/child/hr.
The 9yo also sees a tutor once a week, which is indeed quite pricey but it is of huge benefit and has prevented her from falling behind (she struggles to learn all she needs in lessons due to SEN).

DP then wants DD to watch cartoons until 8, and makes her breakfast which she eats on the sofa. I help DD get dressed between 8 and 8.20, then we do spellings for ten minutes and meander out to school.

We do mornings very differently. We banned morning TV Mon-Fri some years ago (so I guess we do in fact have restrictions - it didn't register as it just isn't an option at all at that time!). I found prising them off it too stressful and it caused a flash point. We do that system of not going back to a room once you've left, so DCs get up & dressed, brush their teeth & wash faces, then come downstairs to eat breakfast and pack their bags. Once downstairs, in theory they do not go back up again (they might if they've forgotten a random one-off item that needs to go into school with them).
My DCs are ruled by their stomachs, so making dressing and teeth happen first gets them downstairs reasonably quickly. They make their own breakfast from a choice of toast (we have wooden tongs to get it out), cereal and fruit. If they have time to spare after eating, they are free to play with toys downstairs.
I get them to start on shoes & coats 5 minutes before we need to leave.

Like a PP, I have not dressed them since they were about 4 and had been offering only limited help for a long time before that, but I will offer advice or reminders about PE days or the weather if needed.

Why does DP want her to watch cartoons in the morning? I did this when they were very young as it stopped them causing havoc whilst I got ready, but once school aged it caused more problems than it fixed.

I wrote a whole thing about how parenthood has been humbling and how I really don’t judge other parents lightly, how I’ve relied on TV to help my family when I’ve needed to etc but it got lost so I’m going to cut to the chase and be blunt.

You say you are in conflict about the routine for your child but also say your partner is a caring and committed parent. Your partner likes your child to watch cartoons in the morning and then lets them watch tv from 3.30-10ish during the te week. From the wording of your posts your partner controls the routine and down to the way the weekend works there just happens to be less tv then. Watching TV from 3.30-10pm daily is a humongous amount. That isn’t ‘chilling out’. I imagine there are parents who have to do all sorts to get through but I’m not getting the sense this is down to a crisis of some kind.
I really can’t understand how this marries up with them being a committed parent..

I have a 6yr old. Morning routine is, he wakes up around 6:30 but has a gro clock and has to play quietly in his room until the sun comes up at 7. Then he goes downstairs and watches tv until breakfast. We all potter about getting ready and having breakfast and out the door at 8 for school. Home at 3:20, small snack with some tv time. Then we’ll usually do spellings and play games together. He would usually play Lego or ipad while I make tea. We have tea at 5. Might go for a walk or just chill after tea. Then he has a shower at 7 followed by him reading then me reading, a bit of a chat and a cuddle. Then I say good night around 7:30/7:45. Couple of days are slightly different because of clubs but that just eats the time between school and evening meal.

Interesting thread. For my DC7;

Morning: up 6.30 and watches TV for an hour, breakfast 7.30, up to get dressed / teeth 7.45, down and out to school 8.30.

Evening;

Monday - home for 4, playtime / reading til 5, TV / play from 6, dinner 6, up to bed 7.15, lights out 8.15.
Tuesday - Brownies
Wednesday - Martial arts
Thursday - after school club til 6
Friday - swimming

She’s 7. We are very (too) relaxed about homework / reading (done minimally in and amongst) and have been lax about her contributing to household jobs which is now a battle.

I have 7yo daughter, youngest of three so lots of activities!
Up at 6am and we chill in bed until 6.30 then I do packed lunches while she watched the iPad and has breakfast. Gets herself dressed afterwards and packs her bag. We leave the house at 7.50 to drop older one off and then read school books and do spellings and maths practice until school at 8.30.

Monday we have swimming lessons and home at 5.15, she showers while I start dinner then generally tv or iPad until dinner at 6, then bed at 7.30.

Tuesday is ballet and home at 6.45, she showers while I do dinner and then generally just tv or iPad until bed as it’s so late.

all other nights are same and home after school and we avoid tv or iPad and she happily plays or colours until just before bedtime which I am for 7 after a busy start to the week! I try and do dinner for 5.30 these nights so we get organised a bit better for an earlier bedtime.

My son has just turned 8 but not far off.
Gets up anytime between 6.30/7 and watches a bit of TV and gets himself dressed, teeth etc.
Leave for school on time.
After school only has 1 club as its too much doing something every night he has stopped them through his choice.
Homework is done a bit every night.
He either watches TV or plays.
We limit screen time at the weekend more than during the week

Dinner 7pm.
Books etc Bed 8pm he's asleep about 9pm.