What is your 6/7 year old's morning/evening routine - am I way off?

[SarahAndQuack]

Long story short: DP and I are splitting up; we've never agreed about various parenting issues, and it's been a factor in the split. I do believe DP is a genuinely caring, committed parent, but I'm not happy with the routines (or lack of routines) that we've ended up in, and I see the split as a good opportunity to introduce some beneficial changes.

I'd love to know about other people's routines, and what you think is really crucial or beneficial. For example, when is bedtime? When is dinner? How do you organise screen time?

I'm lucky in that we live very close to school, so there's no real school run. DD does a couple of after-school activities but is usually out of school at 3.20. I'd really appreciate knowing what you do and what you think is most important.

Thanks!

Mine are 5 and 8.
Up around 7ish. Dc1 is nearly always awake much earlier but will read in bed/listen to his yoto.
They may play minecraft for a while or watch TV. This is their main unrestricted TV and xbox time during the week.
Breakfast at 8ish.
Get dressed.
Go over anything we need to (options for lunch/revisit homework/plans for that night/pack school bags etc)
Walk to school for 9.15
Pick up is 3.30. Between them they have at least one activity every day. If its straight after school (2 days a week) then afterwards we will have tea. Then homework/reading/board games/craft/play and maybe a bit of tv together.
The other 3 days, it's home, small snack (usually milk or water, banana, pain au chocolat, dried apple slices, raw carrot sticks etc), homework, help prep tea, eat tea and back out. Afterwards it's reading/board games/play/maybe tablet time.
Bed is between 9 and 10 most nights. Brush teeth, read a story, yotos on, lights out.

Between them they do kickboxing, Rainbows, swimming, drama, Squirrels, football and 2 types of dance. I'd love an earlier bed time for them but like me they don't seem to need huge amounts of sleep and an earlier bed time has always resulted in them up and about earlier.

@MoonlightMuse - thanks! That sounds like a long day, but very structured? And OMG you have so much organisational energy! I'm interested that they still have a dinner around 6/6.30, so it sounds as if that is a really important fixture.

@StarDolphins - thanks! I think you are the first person who mentioned watching TV first thing in the morning. I am homing in on that because I am a bit worried making a big change for DD. My DP's rationale for allowing loads of TV has always been 'but she needs time to chill,' and I do see that in itself, that isn't wrong. So I may (at least at first) go with a bit of TV first thing, and I'm reassured I won't be the only one!

When mine were 6 it would be

6.45-7am wake, banana while reading: tablet. 7.15 get dressed and ready for school.

8am breakfast cereal.

8.30 leave for school.

After school

Home by 3.45/4pm
Snack (varies depending on what's for dinner to keep it balanced).

Fruit if chicken dippers, chips, peas for dinner.
Biscuits if meat and veg for dinner.
For us keeping it this way teaches some unhealthy snacks/ meals are ok we just balance it out.

After snack it's play or colouring or tv - no restrictions or directions from us it's free choice after a busy day at school. Depending on the day a different choice is made to suit the mood.

5pm dinner with fruit after if wanted.

6pm sometimes homework if given. If too tired it's not worth the fight but I think it's unfair to do straight after school.

6.30 bath/ shower.
7pm bed and relax with book.
7.30 lights on dim for bed.

2 nights there are activities so times slightly adjust.
I think at 6 their school days are often tiring and the first thing they need at home is choice / down time.

Consistent routines create better behaviour as kids know what's happening and get security from that.

apologies for assuming she is a he - a good warning to me there to watch my assumptions.

Can I ask, what happens on the weekend?

Nearly 7 year old

7.30 wake and watch videos while we make lunch
8 breakfast then get dressed
8.30 leave for school.

Three times a week, after school club until 4.30-5 then home and watch videos to decompress before dinner.

Twice a week, home by 3.30 watch videos for about 45min then activities.

Dinner 6-7 then often play computer games with partner or sometimes board games.

Start going to bed at 8 but with heel dragging, chatting and bedtime book it is usually 9 before they are trying to sleep. They then fall asleep pretty fast

I want us to get better and a routine for reading as it bounces around a bit depending on the day but I'm worried it'll be a hard adjustment when there is more homework cutting into video time.

I do worry they default to videos when they are bored so sometimes take them away but we are not very good about being consistent about that. Something to work on. DC is very science minded though so we talk about instant gratification and the importance of play not just videos for brain development.

Not at all - I never know when to say it during a thread, because whenever you say it, it can become the main topic, and I don't think it really is.

Weekends feel less fraught. We all get up more slowly; DP is happier for me to do activities with DD without her or DD feeling I have changed the pattern, and generally there's church on Sunday as a fixture (DP takes DD). DD still does watch a lot of TV though: so I should say, what's a good weekend pattern?

I really just want examples so I can figure out something to explain to DD. What I want to do is to give her an actual daily plan - not necessarily with fixed things, but with a broad area as 'bedtime' or 'dinnertime'. I think she really needs the structure of knowing what she's doing with me. So I want to get a reasonable sense of what might work best, first.

I have a 7yo. He wakes naturally between 7-7.30am. He gets himself dressed and is downstairs eating breakfast at 8am. He watches TV until 8.20am and then it's toilet/teeth/shoes/coat on and we leave for school at 8.30am.

He has an after school activity every day apart from 1. When he gets home he has a snack/drink and then does any homework / spellings. The rest of the time is free to do how he pleases - iPad, TV, playing (he has 2 siblings) He has dinner around 5.30pm. Bath around 6.30pm. 7pm he sits with his dad whilst I put youngest to bed. They read his School book and then watch something like Top Gear/Nature program. I take him up at 8pm for a story, then he listens to an audio book to go to sleep. He's normally asleep by 9pm

Snacks can be fruit, crisps, rice cakes. He normally has 2 snacks before dinner. After dinner he either has an ice cream, fruit or yogurt.

He has 2 cookies and a glass of milk before bed with his dad.

Up at 7:30am. Leave the house together at 8am for walk to breakfast club at school.

If at after-school club, home for 5:30pm. Can watch TV until 6pm. Dinner. Help clear table etc, pack bag for next day.

If not at after-school club, dance class or other activities and/or helping with house chores/basic meal prep for dinner.

After 6pm it's "adult tv' which is generally wildlife documentaries or countryside/cooking type shows.

7pm. PJs and winding down. Teeth. Bed for 7:30pm for a story. Lights out 8pm.

@SarahAndQuack

5am is our choice!

The kids would happily sleep later. 😴

My DD is 6, almost 7.
7am we get up. Breakfast, get dressed, hair etc. If she has time we will play or read before school.
8.25am leave for school.
3.15pm collect from school. Most nights we have after school activities so that will mean a quick snack (oat bar, banana etc)
Usually home from clubs at 5ish. We get her in the bath as find it's easier to bath before she gets too tired.
5.30pm dinner.
After dinner we play together or do any homework.
7pm toilet, teeth and into bed. We read to her and then she can read until about 7.45pm. Then it's lights out and sleep.

In amongst that, she will sometimes use her tablet or watch something after dinner if she is knackered or in the mornings she may do her times table app. But as others have said, she's so busy I don't need to restrict screen time much as she doesn't get much opportunity anyway. If she has been on it a while and we say '"Come on let's do X instead" it always goes off without complaint.

I have twin 6year olds.
Weekdays they have to stay in bed until 6 (looking at you DS!) then can get up and go downstairs and play. We make their breakfast and do reading if it’s not a breakfast club day (those days they are at a school for 730)
After school we play at the park on way home if weather good then have tea 430-5. A couple of nights a week they have activities but 630 they shower, pjs on, we read together and 7ish they are in bed. When in bed they can read to themselves but DD usually goes straight to sleep 😴
weekends both days we have activities but the 6am rule still stands! After their activities we either play at home or go to the park. Usually still 7pm bedtime as they are tired by then!

Remember that you will have no control over what happens in the other home post separation. You can instigate whatever routines you want but the other parent does not have to follow them and if this is a contributing factor to your split you are unlikely to be aligned after. As a mediator I see how this is a constant source of frustration for parents as no matter how much you think your routine is better (or the other parent thinks his/hers is) you will both be able to make whatever parenting decisions you like when your child is with you. Good luck.

My 6 year old is extremely high energy, so his routine is a bit extreme!
Wakes up around 5:30, about 45 min on ipad (locked down to age appropriate content)
Get dressed, breakfast, spellings, drama practice, out of the door 7:15 to breakfast club, school starts properly at 8:30
Every day eitgef after school club until 5, or an activity, one day a week activity until 6.
Dinner, reading, a bit more ipad, bed around 7:15.
weekends:
Saturday: activities between 11 and 5
sunday: twice a month activities between 7:30 and 2:30
My other (older) kids do much less (apart from after school and breakfast club daily), but he is off the scale in terms of energy’s.

I’ve got a just turned 6hr old. We aim for 7pm in bed for stories, generally 7.30pn lights out. She wakes usually around 6.30am and listens to Yoto player or in the last few weeks has got a pile of books and reads to herself - this is new as her confidence has grown in reading.

breakfast is cereal, porridge or toast and we leave at 8.30 for school. Three days a week they have Afterschool club till I pick them up at 5pm. They come in an watch TV till I’ve made their dinner. I don’t mind the TV as they’ve been out the house 8.30-5.30 and need some down time. Usually turn it off 6.30-6.45 for bath etc.

I don’t allow tablets during the week except on a Friday afternoon and no TV in the mornings as we have enough to do to get ready without them whinging about having to turn the TV off!

I have a 6yo (and 2yo).

Morning:
Up around 6.30am
Breakfast
Dress/teeth
Play/watch TV until 8am
Leave 8.15am

Evening:
Home by 3.30pm
Snack when home and Homework (maths reading or spelling)
4-5pm play/watch TV
5pm dinner
Bath/play until 6.30pm
Pjs/teeth
More play whilst I put his brother to bed
I read a couple of chapters then he'll usually read himself for a bit.
Asleep by 8pm

Some days are different when I work later or he has after school clubs but that covers most.

I let him decide if he wants tv or play. As long as he's ready for school first and it's off by dinner he can decide.

7yo and 4yo
Mornings:
Wake up around 6:15, read/play a bit, get dressed, go downstairs together and watch TV
7:30 Breakfast, teeth, school bags
8:15 leave for school

Evenings:
Home 3:50 if no clubs
Small snack if hungry and dinner is later e.g. raw veg, nuts. We do allow unhealthy snacks but not before dinner, or they won't eat dinner
Otherwise general playing/crafts
Dinner any time from 4.30 (when we go swimming later) to 6pm. Better for the kids to be at 5pm, but not always manageable
6:45ish shower, reading books, story, bedtime. We start this earlier when possible as they like to be read to for longer
3 or 4 times a week they ask for screens (TV or a computer game). If time, they have 30 mins before/after shower with us joining them. Sometimes no time e.g. on swimming night.
7.30ish in bed, read by themselves until 8 if they want. 8ish bedtime on Saturday.

Homework: we do the bulk at the weekend, apart from reading each day and checking spellings again the night before.

5 and 7 year old here. They usually wake naturally around 7. Once they’re dressed they can watch iPads. Give them breakfast at 7:30ish and they are allowed iPads with breakfast while I do jobs. We leave the house at 8.
Get home at 4:20 ish and they have a snack- fruit/veg and cheese cubes or a biscuit usually. The 7 year old has homework every week day so sit and do that while 5 year old plays. DH gets home around 5.
They just chill out and play. Only rule around screens is that eldest has to do homework first. All eat dinner together (at table, no screens) around 5:30/6. iPads turn off automatically at 6:30. Go up for bedtime routine to start at 7- they read to us first then we read to them so usually we’re finished around 7:30. They can read or listen to yoto until they fall asleep.
While they’re young and because school is so full on we’ve made a conscious decision to not do too many extra activities. They do one a week and on the same week day so that it’s just one evening of rushing around. Sometimes we go to do a local Lego club or something straight from school but that’s not regular.

Dc ages 6 and 8.

A.m. get up, usually late. Wee. Downstairs breakfast,
Back up, wash, teeth, dress.
Leave - if they have time they will play/watchva bit of TV.
No tablets (they don't gave a console)

Pm.
We're quite busy after school. Beavers, cubs (different days) swimming lessons. After school sports on 1 day longer working day for me on 1 day.

They practice spellings several times a week. Mostly read to themselves in bed.

Again, screen time is restricted by being generally busy.

Bedtime was creeping ever later but I'm pulling it back to 8pm. Chatting to mum of their friends the other day, she said her samed aged dc are in bed by 7 several times a week, there's no way on earth mine would manage this.

We have a not long turned eight year old.

On a school day one of us get him up at about 7:15am, and remind him to brush his teeth when he goes for a wash. He is washed and dressed by about 7:45am, then he has breakfast, plays, watches TV etc until 8:15am when he walks to school (his school starts at 8:30am).

School ends at 2:30pm, some days he stays in after school childcare until about 4pm, other days he walks to the park with friends and plays there before coming home. At the moment we only have one after school club as we’re still settling in to a new area, so once a week he goes to dance after school. He’ll be starting scouts next week.

Dinner is ready when its ready, but usually between 5:30-6pm. After dinner we’ll do a bit of reading, he might play lego, get toys out etc or sometimes watch tv. We do limit to tv so he doesn’t watch any in the half an hour before bed which is 7:30pm. So once the TV is off or whatever he’ll have a shower, if its a hair wash day we’ll do that around 6:30pm so I can dry and oil his hair before bed.

I’m more relaxed about routine than my husband, so we’re in the middle ground with our childrens routine, which is fine and works well for us.

I definitely try to keep it organised, I’m a single mum with no outside support. Dinner is important for us, just a chance during the week to chat properly as we have long days Monday to Friday.
Whilst she’s at her sport session on a Saturday morning (1.5 hours), I pick up the click and collect grocery order and do house work (hoovering and hang up the washing I put in before we left the house). All done by lunch time (bar ironing school uniform and bathroom cleaning), so we have the weekend for what we want to do. Doing a bit of homework most nights during the week means we don’t cram it in to the weekend, the most she’ll have left to do is some reading and maybe a task on a school maths app.

My son is 6.

Wakes up around 7. He spends the morning playing, while I hassle him to eat and get dressed. No screens in the morning. I make his breakfast around 7:30ish, then he gets dressed. We leave at 8:30 to walk to school. Drop off at 8:50.

I pick him up from school at 3. Home around 3:20/30 as he often runs around with friends for 10 minutes after school. He plays for around half an hour - hour while I sort his brother and cook dinner. Homework gets fitted in there somewhere, usually at the bench while I cook. On nights we have activities we eat dinner at 5, then out the door at 5:30. If no activities we eat at 5:30/6. If he’s had an activity he’s home 7-7:30, has a second breakfast and in to bed for 8. If no activities then he plays after dinner, has a shower and in bed for 7.

Screen time - he usually has an hour of tv on weekend afternoons while his brother naps. Sometimes his dad plays video games with him. Some Friday nights we watch a movie together.

If it makes you feel better bemyclementine my 3 and 7 year olds are often still having dinner at 7pm.

My DS1 (7.5) probably has a bit too much screen time but it's interspersed with football club 1 day, afterschool club 1 day, having to walk to pick up DS2 from nursery at 5.30pm 3 days with whichever parent was wfh that day (other parent still at work).
Friday afternoons we try to go out until nursery pick up time, usually for cake or sometimes to the park if the weather is OK.
He falls asleep around 9.30 - it's always been the same even when he was a toddler.

@SarahAndQuack - one rule that we have is that the TV doesn't go on until guided reading/homework are done. So we come straight in from school/activities, and do the homework and guided reading straight away and only after that is TV access given.

I have a 1 year old, so hard to balance with a 5yo sometimes, but I do try to plan a special activity with the 5yo like baking or making something for a couple of times a week. Usually on days with no activities. Then I allow TV until dinner time.

DS is 6. We do an activity most days after school. Snack beforehand. The snack is mostly rubbish (mini cheddars, fruit yoyo etc), but he eats healthily the rest of the time. Home from activity by 6pm, then tea immediately, bath by 7pm, he reads to us and practises his spelling for 15 mins after the bath, story at 8pm, lights out by 8:30. He wakes up at 8am.

We do homework on Sunday night, so no need to do it each evening.

Oh, forgot to add our morning routine. DH drives this and it is like a military operation.

Up at 8am
8:00-8:10 toilet
8:10-8:30 eating breakfast in front of tv
8:30-8:40 teeth, wash face, get dressed
8:40 out of the house (school gates open at 8:55)

Having one DC really helps here - we can both nag him to hurry up with eating. On weekends that same routine can take the best part of two hours due to faffing and playing.