What is your 6/7 year old's morning/evening routine - am I way off?

[SarahAndQuack]

Long story short: DP and I are splitting up; we've never agreed about various parenting issues, and it's been a factor in the split. I do believe DP is a genuinely caring, committed parent, but I'm not happy with the routines (or lack of routines) that we've ended up in, and I see the split as a good opportunity to introduce some beneficial changes.

I'd love to know about other people's routines, and what you think is really crucial or beneficial. For example, when is bedtime? When is dinner? How do you organise screen time?

I'm lucky in that we live very close to school, so there's no real school run. DD does a couple of after-school activities but is usually out of school at 3.20. I'd really appreciate knowing what you do and what you think is most important.

Thanks!

I have a 7yo (and a 9yo). Either her, her sister or both have an activity every day after school. She eats dinner any time between 6 and 7.30, depending on the timing of that day's extracurricular, having had a small snack straight after school. Lights out is between 8 and 8.30, again depending on what we have on after school. I would prefer bedtime to be 8pm, but this just isn't possible on a couple of days.
We have no limits on screen time during term time as their activities plus homework means there is so little opportunity for it, even if they spent all their free time on one (they choose not to) it still wouldn't be very long. During the school holidays, I will sometimes tell them to turn it off if we're home and clocking up the screen hours, which they do with a few minor grumbles, but as we are often busy out and about, I can't get particularly worked up over the odd day flopped in front of the TV. If we were home more, the screens caused problems, or they wouldn't come off them when asked, I would take a much stricter line.

Thank you so much, @SkankingWombat!

That sounds really useful. I like what you say about not needing to restrict screen time because the opportunity for it has already been reduced to a comfortable level - that would be a great thing to aim for. I don't think I can afford after school activities every day, but I could aim towards it (and obviously some cost more than others).

If you don't mind me asking - do you set a formal time for homework (as in 'right, you have half an hour to do your reading')? What what sort of 'small snack' might yours have?

I know I sound really uncertain, but I'm so very certain we can't carry on as we are, that I want to reassess everything and get all the ideas I can about how others do it.

Mine are now 8 and 10 but had the same routine for a while.

Home 4pm
Snack
Activity _ club sport, swimming etc
Dinner
Chat, read, play
I read to them
Watch the news with dad - max 30 min
Bedtime (own reading)

I have a 6 year old.

Mornings - up at 7am, has a glass of milk and a banana before getting dressed as she wakes up hangry. Then dressed by 7.30 at the latest. Toast/porridge and does her spellings/times tables practice whilst she eats (alternate days for each one). Then teeth, shoes etc and set off walking to school at 8.10 to arrive comfortably for 8.30 - school starts at 8.35.

I collect her at 3.15. She does dance/gym on 3 nights after school so she has a snack in the car (cheese, apple, grapes - something small). On free evenings we walk home and she eats her snack when we get back. If she's at home she'll usually do a bit of playing/drawing/colouring or in summer she plays on the trampoline or on the front with friends. In winter she usually has about an hour of TV on free evenings, but in summer usually none. Her choice, it's not restricted because I haven't needed to.

On activity nights were home at about 5.30 and so tea is usually at 6. Then bath at 6.30ish, she reads her school reading book after the bath, I read her a story and then at about 7.15 we put an audio book on and she goes to sleep - she's usually fast asleep by 7.45 at the latest.

To add when mine were younger the sport time was board games, or playing in the garden.

Thanks!
So, what kind of thing is their snack? And what sort of time is dinner/bedtime?

@PointeShoesandTutus - thank you! That is the detail I need. DD is like me and wakes up the opposite of hangry - she can't comfortably eat until she has woken up properly. But I like the idea of alternating activities so she doesn't get bored.

It sounds as if your DD has a lovely routine.

Snack is fruit and or toast or just a small portion of their dinner.

Dinner 1800 - 1830 bed 1930 - 2000
They get up at 5am for reference.

Thanks!

5am is presumably not your choice?!

My DS is 6 nearly 7. He is a horribly early waker (around 5.30) no matter what time he goes to bed so he creeps downstairs and watches tv until we get up at 6.15 on a school/work day. I then battle it out with his adhd to get breakfast into him and get him dressed which takes a solid 2 hours in between me getting showered and dressed for work and the 2 year old ready to go.

The afternoon I do school pick up he has a couple of hours of one to one time with me, the only time in the week it’s just me and him so I make a special effort to bake, go to the park, play a game etc. Just really focus on him as the rest of the week is so busy and he’s in after school childcare most days or an activity. He doesn’t have a bath every night as it hypes him up, we have tea together around 5.45/6pm (DH is on shifts so often not in) then I put the little one to bed at 6.30 and the big one goes up at 7. He’s always flat out by 7.30.

DS2 is 7.

Up around 7:30, gets dressed whilst DH or I gets breakfast. He eats and pootles around. If I’m WFH the childminder collects him at 8:30 all togged up for school.

Childminder collects DSs at 3:15. Home and he does his reading then has supper. If he has an activity supper is earlier and reading is post activity (eg Beavers is at 5:15 so he’s fed before and the childminder drops him off, I collect him on my way home and he reads to me). ‘Tea time’ (drink and a biscuit) is at 6:00, gaming time is half an hour for him then half an hour for DS2. Shower and PJs at 7:00, milk and stories all done for 8:00. Homework other than reading is done at the weekend.

Great thread by the way, getting some good ideas!

@Flangeosaurus - that sounds like a hard morning, but a really lovely afternoon/evening? It's reassuring to know that bedtimes don't necessarily affect wake-ups (positively or negatively!). Thank you.

Thank you! That sounds really doable and reassuring. My DD does Beavers too, and loves it.

Yay!

I have a 7 year old.
Mornings- up by 6.30. Dressed for school before coming downstairs, breakfast, I make their lunch but they put it in their bag, teeth, hair and out of the door by 7.20. Breakfast club opens at 7.45. We’re early to doors opening so they do some reading whilst we wait.

After school- I pick up about 5.15/5.30. Home for dinner which is about 6/6.30, homework, reading, screen time, shower/bath, book in bed before lights out at 8/8.30. Dinner depends on if they eat at After School club, if they don’t- proper dinner and if they do- cereal/toast/fruit/yogurt.

Most of their activities are directly before school or after school, so they do them and then go to breakfast/after school club. Outside of school clubs are a Friday evening and Saturday morning.

I have a 7 yo DD, our weekday routine is loosely below…

She does choir, dance, brownies & swimming after school some days.

7am up, sits on sofa & either reads if not done night before or watches tv. Breakfast/drink then leave for school at 8.20 (as we walk dog near school before she goes in at 8.45)

Pick up is 3.35 or 4.30 if she has choir/dance. Yea pretty much at around 5ish everyday. I then wash up/feed dog etc then we read her book then choose something fun like colouring/board game/loom bands or whatever & we do this together until ‘calming down time’ where we sit on the sofa & she has supper.
Go up for bed at 8, get ready & usually in bed 8.20 - asleep a bit later.

Every Friday, homework maths & literacy which we get done straight away from school.

Weekends we have more treat type teas & usually a sharing bag of crisps while watching tv (strictly at the min) bedtime perhaps a bit later on the sat.

He is very tired after school so has less energy to do and say the 85 million bazillion things racing around his mind so it’s easier to play with him or get him engaged in an activity

Mornings are often extremely trying, which is why I like to have that time with him where I’m not nagging him.

What is it about your current routine (or lack of) which isn’t working for you?

At that age my dd went to after school club or other clubs until I finished work.

I picked her up at 5ish, get home, she'd watch telly while I sort dinner for 6ish.

After dinner she would play for a bit or maybe do reading/homework.

Then bath and bed for 7.30.

Right, so this is reassuring me. I was a bit worried I'd start this thread and everyone would have wildly differing ideas, and I'd be none the wiser. Where we are at the moment is: I used to be the parent at home with DD most or all of the time. When I got a new job that changed, and I was biting my tongue, because you have to let your partner parent how they feel is right. We've ended up in a situation where my partner gets up around 7 and wakes DD then, or at latest at 7.30. DP then wants DD to watch cartoons until 8, and makes her breakfast which she eats on the sofa. I help DD get dressed between 8 and 8.20, then we do spellings for ten minutes and meander out to school.

After school, DD would like to have a snack and watch cartoons, and if DP is home, that's allowed. So she can end up watching cartoons from 3.20 until bedtime. Bedtime can be up to 10pm. Naturally, DD isn't thrilled with me coming in to say 'actually, DD, let's do your reading' or 'DD, it's 8pm so bedtime'. DP doesn't think there's anything to worry about. But I feel as if this a real outlier of a routine, isn't it?

Sorry, I thought I'd quoted your reply but I hadn't - in any case, my reply is above.

He likes to let watch tv most days from 3.30ish to 10pm?!
dinner etc all in front of tv? Most days?

When DP started doing more parenting, I'd keep saying 'right, DD, bedtime' and scooping her up at 8pm, or whatever, but it's pretty much symptomatic of what was happening in our relationship that it didn't work. So what I want to work out now is a really healthy, solid - but also achievable - timetable for DD. It wouldn't be sensible to say 'right, bedtime used to be any time until 10pm but now it's 6 on the dot'. But equally, I want to be able to write something down for her, which she can then understand, and which will help her navigate this change.

FWIW she's a she - we're two mums - but yes. And as I say, it is a big contributing factor in us splitting up. I need to work out how to steer things back to something like normal. I'll feel so much more confident about it if I can get a sense of what everyone else does, I think.