Is there any point getting married AFTER children?

[Cottonwoolonastick]

Say you have 2 children and your family is complete, you live together, built a life together, all that is missing is the legal contract of marriage.
Aside from the legal protection is there actually any reason to get married at this point?
What is there to look forward to?
For me you get married then having a family to look forward to. When you have done everything you tend to do during a marriage, what is left? Surely it’s very underwhelming?
I get that people do it for love as much as legal protection and it’s up to each couple.
Can anyone who was/is in this position explain how it worked out for you and what future plans you made after the wedding? Did you just continue as you were without any new plans?
(this is in no way a dig at anyone in this position, I’m trying to come to a decision and finding it difficult)
thanks

This, in spades.

Oh, and FGS, OP, make sure you’ve both got valid wills!

@Londonscallingme "Thanks, I’m already pretty clear on who it applies to."

Good. Many others aren't. Wouldn't want anyone misled.

Got married when our first child was 1 and we planned the child and our relationship.

It worried me that without marriage if anything had happened to me during childbirth that my parents, not my partner would be next of kin and things would be complicated for him to be named father on birth certificate if I was unable to. So we decided before more children marriage.

It was cheaper than get power of attorney for each other. Which we will still do as doing it early is much more sensible.

I enjoy us all having the surname - and I chose for us all to have his surname as I like it, reflects where he is from and I liked changing mine and that symbolizing my own family.

I wanted my work and other things to recognise him. We'd had a situation where one of his parents were terminally ill in very difficult circumstances. HR fought me on leave because without marriage my relationship to them wasn't recognized.

I chose to go part time when I had children so marriage protects me more if we ever split. Also protects us if one of us dies.

For me it was never about a wedding - indeed we chose a surprise small wedding. It was about choosing something that reflected what we are as a couple and how we want to spend our future. It was about stating to everyone and legally that we are each others family.

I look forward to each year that passes, our children getting older, the celebrations we have together. Marriage is a personal choice and each should do it for their own reasons. I find it bizarre that people put some much energy and expectation on a wedding but I respect whatever choice they make.

Life is what you look forward to. Having the person by your side.

Children absolutely do not seal the deal on many, many relationships, neither does marriage but does at least make it a little bit more difficult to walk away.

But then I never ever dreamed of meeting someone and then getting married. Instead of a wedding when I met my now DH I pictured cups of tea, walks, places, growing old and holding hands. Life. Knowing that when bad things happen I have him. Him knowing that when his family member is ill I think of them as my own family and do all I can to support.

Inheritance tax

It's for legal protection

My sister's partner died unexpectedly. They weren't legally married. Nightmare sorting out banking, car ownership, contracts for bills and services and probate.

What about people who don't have children? They benefit from the legal status.
DH and I were together 17 years when we got married and weren't planning on having children (although we did eventually).

Married or not you should still make wills and get LPA for each other.

Me and DH got married 11 months after 2nd DC born and getting a mortgage.
I got married because I wanted to, not because I felt I needed to to have DC.

If you earn a lot less than DP then marriage would protect not just you but DC in case of a split.

We’ve been together over 10 years (with an 8yr old) and neither of us have any desire to get married.
To be honest I think it would make me feel trapped. Children is enough of a commitment and I don’t rely on DP financially.

Unfortunately you can't force a adult to make a will. DH m walked out when he was 7(went off with another man) F got custody. Died suddenly, after re-marrying,new wife washed her hands of his children. The whole thing was so traumatic,left him with serious phobias and anxiety, any talk related to death,he's out of the room. Before anyone asks,yes, years of antidepressants, therapy. Unfortunately many years too late.

Aw that's so lovely 😊

Why would you have nothing left to look forward to op?

I've been married 25yrs.
We had kids 10 years after that.
I love spending time with DH.
Kids are teenagers now and we are starting to talk about all the adventures we'll have when they leave home.
Life is a journey and we are on it together. Getting married DOD change the way I feel and think about our relationship. The legal stuff was secondary to me.
Getting married is saying to everyone you know and love "this is my person. We are a family and we will spend the rest of our lives together"
It's about expressing a deep commitment. For us anyway. What's not to celebrate?

Sorry for typo. DH not DOD - no idea who they are! 😆

Also, all the kids i know who have been at their parents' weddings have LOVED it. They have looked so happy and proud.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/#:~:text=Your%20legal%20rights%20as%20a,than%20if%20you're%20married.
@Cottonwoolonastick

We were already parents when we got married, it was an almost 50 year battle to be able to get married, we were doing it, children or no children. Plus our son could not have looked cuter in his little outfit.

💛

Sounds wonderful simonjt

Funny how some straight couples can be so dismissive about the value of marriage - easy to take something for granted when it's always been an option to you!

People do get married purely for legal reasons yes OP. You don't mention how old you are but it often happens later on in life as people realise that when the first one of them dies, they'd rather the survivor was treated as a spouse than a cohabitant.

How old are your DC, and have you got wills? If you don't have wills then I'd definitely suggest getting that done asap.

Kindly, I think it’s pretty depressing you think the only thing to look forward to after marriage is kids. What are you doing to do when the kids leave? Surely you get married because you love each other and want that commitment.

If you have a disparity in income; marriage is beneficial to the lower earner.

I kind of get where OP is coming from. I had similar thoughts but only about wedding, not marriage as a legal protection. I saw wedding as a celebration of two people having made the commitment and potentially starting a family. So I thought what would be the point of that after already being committed enough to have kids and house and whatnot before. For legal protection I would say marriage always makes sense. And I don’t criticise anyone throwing a big wedding after kids, just probably wouldn’t have been for me.