NHS-Just had operation. Porter said this!!!!!

[IsAnybodyListening]

Recently had complex surgery following an accident, and I have been home a few days now. The more I think about this, the angrier I get. As not to drip feed this was basically the situation.

My consultant and surgeons were utterly fantastic with me. My last surgery was over 10yrs ago, unfortunately there were complications plus I developed an infection post surgery and became extremely ill. Due to this, they were aware how anxious I was to be going under anesthesia again and were incredibly understanding.

Whilst on the ward. I was nil by mouth. Surgery was postponed 3 times due to life and death situations which is completely understandable, however during this time I hadn't ate in 38hrs which I was OK with, however the first issue were Nurses kept refusing to give me fluid. They weren't listening to me that surgery was delayed and that I could have water up until a few hrs before going into theatre. By sheer luck the anesthetist happened to pop into my room for me to sign consent forms whilst I was begging for a drink and told the nurse to give me fluid.

By this point, I'm hungry, exhausted, unable to sleep as in pain and very thirsty and drained, also scared of pending surgery and when it might happen.

The porter came to wheel me to theatre. Just before going into the operating room she is making idle chit chat, and the surgeon comes out to see me and help wheel me in. The porter obviously doesn't know what I've been through, my history or anything about me, and for some bizarre reason declares in the most jovial tone ' Just remember when they knock you out, not to go to heaven when you're under'!!!!!!

The surgeon heard, and fair play to him he looked bloody furious with this comment.

Anyhow, I had surgery, it should have been 2hrs but was closer to 6hrs. Now I am home and recovering, I can't stop thinking about what she said RIGHT before I had a massive operation. Who says something so stupid?

Do I assume the surgeon would have raised it as he definitely heard, or should I go down the formal complaint route? It keeps playing over in my mind, that and my surgery didn't actually go as expected and involved more surgeons and hours than initially expected and since I woke up, I can't stop thinking about what she said. Death IS a risk with surgery. Why would a health care professional say something so utterly careless like that in such a serious situation?

If you managed to read all that, thanks. Not sure if this should be in AIBU or is it a more WWYD question?

Gallows humour

I couldn't get worked up personally

And I moan about everything

When I was in the hospital lift with several other women, all of us in surgical gowns going to have our babies removed from our bodies (miscarriages, unsustainable developments etc) a male porter said to us "Where are you all off to ladies? A dance party?" When we stared blankly at him he said "Come on, cheer up!"
Fucker. I never had the time or energy to complain. Wish I had.

x

How horrible😢

I have a very dark sense of humour but there's a time and a place ,wheeling somebody down for an operation is neither the time or the place
And it's a hospital ,how hard is it to understand that people are vulnerable for various reasons in a hospital?

I would be more concerned about the nurses who were not nursing you rather than what was obviously meant to be a remark to cheer you up by the porter.

You have obviously been to hell and back and I hope you are over the worst of it.
I would not have liked a remark like but someone else might have roared laughing. I think you need to try to put it behind you and focus on your recovery.

I’d let it go, when I was 17 I had my first operation and I was woken up the next morning by a Porter/tea trolley man flicking tea in my face to wake me up!! So just a tactless comment was not very nice but it could have been much worse!

What a fucking arsehole.

Wow! Just wow. Regardless of your previous circumstances this is not something that should be said to anyone about to go under a general anaesthetic.

You need to put this is writing to PALS & request a written response.

it won’t change what has happened to you, but it might stop them saying it to someone else.

There's a time and a place for edgy humour, and wheeling a patient to surgery is not one of them. If she makes a habit of making little gags like this then maybe she needs telling.

I sympathise with you OP. Please do complain as it needs to highlight the training issues there. I am usually very nervous with anaesthetic and such a statement light hearted or not would make me extremely nervous.

Porters get no training in how to talk to patients, and they are not health care professionals.

Women can be porters, so I am not sure why several PP keep referring to the porter as 'he'. Plus some actually are educated. Some people do it to get experience in a hospital setting in preparation for applying for nursing etc. I worked with several who had degrees, but wanted a stress free job that you can switch off from when you go home.
So the stereotype about porters being thick men can do one.

The comment to me comes across as light hearted and maybe an odd way of putting you at ease... but then that is easy for me to say reading about it and not being highly anxious and wheeled to theatre. However, some patients would have not had an issue with the comment. I recall a nervous patient asking if they would die when under GA. The ODP (so a HCP) said not too worry as the staff wont let it happen because it generates too much paperwork.

I just hate being patronised. This might have been a genuine attempt at connecting with OPs worst fears. We'll never know, as we weren't there to understand tone etc.

It was maybe a thoughtless comment, but they were trying to lighten the mood. You really are overthinking this and would be better concentrating on recovering from your surgery. There is nothing to be gained by complaining and I can't believe you would even consider it.

I agree, that is a far bigger issue than a throwaway remark made by someone on a low wage. I've never had surgery, and if I was about to I would be petrified - but a remark like that would make me smile. The lack of care by the nurses is far worse.

Some people are socially awkward and make terrible conversation when they would be better to shut up. Sounds like this porter may have been one of them.

get well soon

@IsAnybodyListening tbh I am sure the porter was mortified that came out of his mouth. they are on minimum wage and have little training. they are also extremely busy and rushed off their feet. any complaint might get them a smack on the wrist.... but is it really worth the hassle. the 38 hr no food or fluid on the other hand, I would complain about.

Then they have no business being a porter .

Definitely speak to PALS.
I had a admin staff member on the phone laugh out loud at me when i suggested calling back in a couple of weeks to see if there was a date for my son’s appt.
The PALS team were brilliant and said it was really important for people to complain for things like that as at the very least, they can then coordinate more training etc.

Minumum.wage has fuck all.to.do.with being incredibly insensitive
I.used to.be a nurse I worked with many people on minimum.wage they were not insensitive because they realised it wasn't appropriate. Working in a hospital🙄

See if you can get her sacked.

Sounds like she was trying to make light of the situation to put you at ease. You should complain about being refused water for 38 hours that’s the unprofessional and downright dangerous and neglectful stuff.

Oh gosh, quite honestly this sort of banter would have helped put me at ease.

Unlike the registrar who said "You'll look like a butcher's shop by the time I've finished with you." He was as good as his word!

OP, only you can tell the spirit it was delivered in.
If a menacing voice and a sneer, then by all means report him.
If with a cheery smile and a wink, perhaps allow for the possibility that this was his way of trying to ease your nervousness?

Why?

But it didn't help the op @Alcemeg and that's the point.

Is that how you measure whether to try and get someone sacked?