NHS-Just had operation. Porter said this!!!!!

[IsAnybodyListening]

Recently had complex surgery following an accident, and I have been home a few days now. The more I think about this, the angrier I get. As not to drip feed this was basically the situation.

My consultant and surgeons were utterly fantastic with me. My last surgery was over 10yrs ago, unfortunately there were complications plus I developed an infection post surgery and became extremely ill. Due to this, they were aware how anxious I was to be going under anesthesia again and were incredibly understanding.

Whilst on the ward. I was nil by mouth. Surgery was postponed 3 times due to life and death situations which is completely understandable, however during this time I hadn't ate in 38hrs which I was OK with, however the first issue were Nurses kept refusing to give me fluid. They weren't listening to me that surgery was delayed and that I could have water up until a few hrs before going into theatre. By sheer luck the anesthetist happened to pop into my room for me to sign consent forms whilst I was begging for a drink and told the nurse to give me fluid.

By this point, I'm hungry, exhausted, unable to sleep as in pain and very thirsty and drained, also scared of pending surgery and when it might happen.

The porter came to wheel me to theatre. Just before going into the operating room she is making idle chit chat, and the surgeon comes out to see me and help wheel me in. The porter obviously doesn't know what I've been through, my history or anything about me, and for some bizarre reason declares in the most jovial tone ' Just remember when they knock you out, not to go to heaven when you're under'!!!!!!

The surgeon heard, and fair play to him he looked bloody furious with this comment.

Anyhow, I had surgery, it should have been 2hrs but was closer to 6hrs. Now I am home and recovering, I can't stop thinking about what she said RIGHT before I had a massive operation. Who says something so stupid?

Do I assume the surgeon would have raised it as he definitely heard, or should I go down the formal complaint route? It keeps playing over in my mind, that and my surgery didn't actually go as expected and involved more surgeons and hours than initially expected and since I woke up, I can't stop thinking about what she said. Death IS a risk with surgery. Why would a health care professional say something so utterly careless like that in such a serious situation?

If you managed to read all that, thanks. Not sure if this should be in AIBU or is it a more WWYD question?

Well yes…I could write a book!

I'd prefer a nice and well programmed robot porter to a rude and insensitive one.

This sounds absolutely prefect IMO.

I absolutely did read all of your comments, including the clarification re the water. You said:

"however I got a jar of water earlier on and it was removed from my room as the surgery was being postponed, everytime I asked a nurse would have to go and see if surgery had been scheduled as obviously water isnt allowed close to surgery. I did eventually have small glass of water a few hrs before going in thanks to the anesthetist asking.."

However, you also said this:

" the first issue were Nurses kept refusing to give me fluid. They weren't listening to me that surgery was delayed and that I could have water up until a few hrs before going into theatre. By sheer luck the anesthetist happened to pop into my room for me to sign consent forms whilst I was begging for a drink and told the nurse to give me fluid.

By this point, I'm hungry, exhausted, unable to sleep as in pain and very thirsty and drained"

So yes, I did read all of your comments and I think your annoyance with the porter is completely misplaced. I think poor communication from the nursing/healthcare team and leaving you thirsty for hours is awful. I don't understand why you're trying to minimise something where you've got very real and valid cause for complaint while simultaneously over-focussing on a throwaway comment by a porter.

Your responses are extremely prickly, and I honestly don't understand why you're so intent on following up on this when in your own words, you "certainly aren't traumatised or offended". This description seems extremely at odds with your very defensive comments on here. And it's not just me who has noted that you seem very fixated on the porter while bizarrely giving a pass to the fact you were incorrectly denied fluids for many hours!

Myself and lots of other posters on here don't think the porter's words are a big deal. I completely accept that some people might, but if this post is an indication, they would seem to be in the minority. I agree her words were clumsy, but it sounds well-intended.

I just think sending in a rebuke for a casual comment made that was intended to be friendly and humorous - even if it missed the mark - is really excessive. I don't think "feedback" is warranted for every little thing that might be said that a person might potentially take exception to.

I'm autistic and my anxiety is triggered very easily. If I fired off an email every time someone said something that made me feel anxious, I'd never leave my laptop 😅Sometimes it's OK to just let it go. People aren't perfect and we all say clumsy things sometimes.

Porters, even in hospitals, are by no stretch of the imagination health care professionals. According to the NHS website,"There are no formal training courses/programme but most porters will have an induction course. This generally covers information about the hospital, health and safety, lifting techniques etc. Further training is then given on the job."

I don't have any faith that anything would get done, that's the problem.

I was in hospital with a broken shoulder and the porter taking me to x-ray was like a teenage boy in a supermarket dead at night where he was flinging me on my trolley down the corridor, running after it to catch it, so pulling out sharply to him, and then flinging me round corners. I wanted to complain but just couldn't see the point because the other treatment I'd had there was so bad.

@Lose10kyesterday in which case they need to be trained to keep their traps shut.

I’d be much more inclined to complain about the nurses who hold a professional degree not giving a patient water when they needed it and were allowed it.

I agree. In my trust there is a new protocol called 'sip til send' So clear fluid are allowed right up until theatre call for the patient. It's catching on slowly in children, but normally clear fluids are allowed until one hour pre operatively.

Does your trust need the protocol because the nurses don't know the science? Were they not taught it as part of their professional training?

You're not wrong. I've never had much faith in hospital porters since a boy-friend who was working as one during student vacations merrily and without blinking, referred to the recently deceased bodies he and his fellow-porters would have to transfer to the hospital morgue as "hot logs". This was in the Seventies, mind, not sure if it's much improved since then, by the sound of things.

I had similar just before going under emergency spinal surgery right before Christmas. I was scared and worried about leaving my two young children and knowing I’d have a long recovery road, Christmas wouldn’t be the same for my little ones.

Whilst waiting to go under the nurse assigned to hold my hand and relax me said ‘I’ll ask the anaesthetist to give you enough so that when you wake up Xmas will be over’ so instead of going under feeling relaxed I was actually crying at the thought of my children, tears rolling down my face whilst being out to sleep.

These people need to be a little more understanding and careful what they say. It’s a day in, day out procedure to them. To the majority it’s a scary and worrisome situation.

Great post @SpidersAreShitheads

I've been saying exactly the same but without the detail of the OP's quotes you included.

The world seems full of people who are intent on being upset and offended at the slightest thing.

YET when the real issue was no fluids, the OP doesn't want to engage.

Makes me wonder if she feels the lowly porter is someone she can complain about, because they won't have much defence, but doesn't want to engage with 'professional' nurse (because that's a harder battle to win.)

OP I'd rarely say this but your behaviour towards the porter comes over a bullying. Picking on someone doing a very menial job, probably not well educated, a bit lacking in self awareness. Cut them some slack.
The important thing is you came through your operation.

And given the seriousness of it, which you've laid on, I'm surprised you have the energy to rant on social media during your recovery.

Thank-you to those who offered advice and understand. As usual, some rather nasty and uncalled for comments from users that probably get their kicks in casualty. Won't be responding or engaging with the the trolls.

Vansbrowneyedgirl Sorry you went through similar. I can only assume a mixture of lack of training and becoming desensitised over time leads to staff being a bit blasé and careless. Hope you recovered well.

They will have absolutely no idea which porter wheeled you down to theatre

How is the Op.bullying the Porter?
They said something really inappropriate at a very stressful time
Your the one assuming they must be a bit thick and to make concessions for that.

But the message will hopefully get to the manager and indicate that the training of porters might need addressing.

Reporting to PALS is not always (or even often) about getting people into trouble. An indicator that there's an
Issue that needs addressing with a particular group of employees or a system, does far more good in that it avoids other porters/staff making the same mistake, not just one.

Thank-you to those who offered advice and understand. As usual, some rather nasty and uncalled for comments from users that probably get their kicks in casualty. Won't be responding or engaging with the the trolls.

Are you calling people who are disagreeing trolls 😱

@saraclara

But what training? They'll have moving and handling and that's about it. The non-trained staff don't get communication training. Even carers don't get it. Staff that do one-to-ones with dying patients don't get it. Hospice staff in Children's Services don't get it. Staff doing memory and bereavement work don't get it.

Was it insensitive? Yeah, not everyone appreciates gallows humour. But that's what it was, a joke that didn't land

A memo ti the the porter ,s Department would be enough for everyone to.be mindful.,thats its a hospital its not hard to.think inappropriate comments in a hosputal.of all.places is unacceptable .

You could say something but personally, I wouldn’t. My mum died in an nhs hospital. I had to make a complaint about a pretty awful comment and two years later got a letter basically upholding the dr’s defence.

My mum was late 70’s and in A&E was asked about resuscitation. She spoke clearly and coherently that, where possible, she’d want anything and everything doing to keep her here. The dr said “we’ll, sometimes, we have to know when to quit “ 🤦‍♀️

My mum died ten days later. She’d gone in with falls ???? due to a UTI.

It was out of order but for your own well being let it go if you can. It doesn't sound malicious to me just thoughtless. I've dealt with so much worse believe me. I learnt the hard way to let this sort of thing go .

I don't know OP, I think it depends on your sense of humour. I'm a bit dark, and would have found that jolly rather than alarming. Agreed he took a risk saying it, but do you think he meant harm?

More suited to pushing trolleys around tescos carpark i'd say.

Silly comment. Do you want the porter to lose their job over it? What DO you want to happen?

When I was in the hospital lift with several other women, all of us in surgical gowns going to have our babies removed from our bodies (miscarriages, unsustainable developments etc) a male porter said to us "Where are you all off to ladies? A dance party?" When we stared blankly at him he said "Come on, cheer up!"
Fucker. I never had the time or energy to complain. Wish I had.