Matthew Perry buried already?

[CherieBabySpliffUp]

I don't mean this to be an insensitive question but why has Matthew Perry been buried so quickly? Is it customary in America? Admittedly it was nearly 20 years ago but when a family member died unexpectedly at home in the UK we had to wait over a month before the body was released.

For those whinging about Jewish or Muslim funerals being ‘given preference’, what evidence do you have for this? In both faiths it’s a requirement to bury the body as soon as possible. Muslim burials are completely fuss free with very little organisation required.

Yes, https://www.funeraltimes.com/ @Dublincailin.

3 days is the norm here. Unless there’s things like bank holidays or people travelling home from Australia or Canada in my experience and even then it wouldn’t be more than 5 days.

But from a practical perspective I imagine it’s quite difficult to drop everything and attend a funeral within a few days

It isn’t difficult as it’s just what happens and we’re used to it. If you need a few hours off for a funeral no-one bats an eye lid. If you’re a shift worker and it’s someone you know well, you’re covered and if it’s not, you can ask someone else who’s going to offer your sympathies.

My mum’s funeral was 4 days after she died and people, of all ages, came from all over the country.

A month? 😱

Muslim and Jewish funerals have a standard, straightforward service for everyone with no flowers, music or elaborate coffins included. A burial fee is included in the membership of a synagogue or mosque which avoids a sudden expense at a stressful time. Rabbis, Imams and community leaders are used to conducting burial services at very short notice.

When my grandmother died suddenly, my uncle travelled straight to the airport to get an overnight flight so that he was here in time for the funeral the following day.

Had to wait 3 weeks for my Dad's - that was because he had to have a post mortem and it took around 10 days for that to be completed and the coroner to release the body and then we had to wait for a slot at a cemetery.
It does depend where you live and what the capacity is like at the local crematorium or cemetery. My mam's cremation took place fairly quickly but a couple of other friends in different areas had to wait over a month because the crematorium was booked out.

I live in another country now and it's very quick here, even if a post mortem is needed. Most people are buried/cremated within 2-3 days, up to a week with if post mortem.

It is really bad that funerals for those who aren't Jewish or Muslim, take so long here, it leaves families in a horrible "in-between" state. My mum died last year, we waited 5weeks before even being given a date for a burial and then it was in 3 days time so our relatives who were flying over still had to pay for last minute flights and scramble to arrange childcare.

France and Ireland it’s 3 days.
When a friend sadly died in February here in England, an expected death in hospital, it took over a week to get someone to sign a death certificate.
Absolutely shocking!

A month? When my father died here we had to wait ten days but that was because it was December and near Christmas. I think with my husband it was a week.

@crumblingschools

Irish here, I had my mother's and sisters funeral within a few months of each other. Having the funerals so soon after death is like ripping a plaster off its a daze over the few days and in our case I can only describe it as being carried by our community.

Our village kicked into action and neighbours just take over practical arrangements and guide you through everything. Neigbours dig the grave, clean the house, make food and tea, provide hot food.

On both occasions the funerals were during covid (but not the really restrictive times) and the 1 mile long road from our house to the church was lined with our neighbour's.

I couldn't have gotten through them days without these amazing people.

If that term was used by the local paper then that is appalling. It is many years since I saw that phrase in the media because there are guidelines which all newspaper writers and editors are aware of.

I am sorry you had such an unpleasant experience - it must have been traumatic.

I try to call out the use of this phrase when I see it, the same way I try to call out racism or sexism. Language is very pervasive. I asked a colleague not to use a dated and racist term the other day.

I agree though that support needs to be offered - I don't think (and I am sure you don't either) that supporting people with their mental health and talking about it in the best way are at all mutually exclusive. I worked in mental health for many years and continue to support awareness and action.

My mother died late on a Sunday evening, she was taken to the church and cremated on the Thursday. We took an extra day to get things perfect (music and singer wise) otherwise she would have been in church and cremated on the Wednesday.

Ireland.

A week is normal in North America I think. A month is entirely too long

People of other faiths aren’t queue jumpers but often pay a hefty annual subscription to their burial society, lifelong, to ensure that everything gets taken care of in accordance with their religious requirements.

Our nephew was cremated less than 24 hours after he died, DH was mid flight to India when it happened. It took me a long time to get my head around, it's been the biggest cultural difference between us.

last week we went to the funeral of a family friend who died 20th September. So 6 weeks. He was extremely elderly, had been incapacitated by a stroke and was in a hospice. So nothing to suggest enormous amounts of coronial investigations needed to be done. yet - 6 weeks.

I couldn’t bury my dead during Covid, but Boris and that cunt Cummings did what they wanted. 😡😡

Probably depends on the area. My mother died on a Saturday and was buried by Monday. It all felt so quick it was very difficult to process.

I thought a month pre covid was normal - that's about how long it took for our relatives and they were sort of expected.

My grandma’s funeral last year was a month after her passing. It was a lovely tribute to her but it was literally one group in, one group out with the next relatives waiting outside and down the drive for their turn 🤦🏼‍♀️

This.

It takes weeks in the UK to dig a hole and fill in the paperwork - pathetic. They call it 'backlog'.

Jews and Muslims manage to bury their dead the same day or within 24 hours.

Round my way It used to be a week to ten days pre covid. once you heard of the death you could give your boss the heads up and you all knew where you’d stand, even without it being organised yet

@Erber FYI, the phrase "committed" suicide has fallen out of favour, as it implies criticism / judgement of the person who died

Mental health charities now promote language like "took their own life" or "died by suicide"

@DollyTots I hate that about crematoria. Our local one has two doors, one on each side. As people leave through one door, the next crowd come in through the other. It feels rushed

It’s not descrimination at all. The only thing the deceased family has to do is get the death certificate. This is then handed over to the religious burial society who organise everything. The deceased don’t go to a regular mortuary, they’re collected by the burial society who have their own transport, they body is prepared at their own chapel which is at a separate consecrated ground. There’s a standard funeral service, no flowers. No choosing clothes or coffins. The only individuality is the eulogy. The family simply turn up for the funeral. There are then are 1-7 nights of memorial prayers after the funeral. I cannot imagine having to wait for a funeral: I love the speed we do this