Matthew Perry buried already?

[CherieBabySpliffUp]

I don't mean this to be an insensitive question but why has Matthew Perry been buried so quickly? Is it customary in America? Admittedly it was nearly 20 years ago but when a family member died unexpectedly at home in the UK we had to wait over a month before the body was released.

@Wexone yes, English funerals are shit. I suspect nobody will come when I shuffle off the earth much. Dad did ok but I was disappointed by some in the family who didn't make the effort.

As for the planning and writing eulogies, I found that having a lot to do in the three days between my mother's death and her funeral helped me get through it all. I realize that's not going to be the same for everyone. In addition, my mother had left detailed instructions about hymns, etc. so that made it easier too.

England. MIL 2012. Just over a week, but was then Maundy Thursday. Early slot that was still available. At that point it was still only 30 for the service and 6 for a wake which we didn't have.

DH cousin this year. Less than a fortnight, maybe 10 days.

Both times it was getting the cremation certificate from the hospital that was the issue.

Irish. We bury our dead on the third day.

I live away. If someone dies at home, you book travel immediately, and just go.

The US and Canada regard the time it takes to bury a body in the UK as very unusual (or so I gather from DW's family across the pond).

Maybe but my mum is terminally ill so I'm facing this. I'm kinda glad it will take a while to arrange a funeral so I can mentally prepare for it.

Most employers are incredibly supportive of time off to attend a funeral.

If you can't go to the day time part of the funeral (2nd day) then you go the evening before. The wake/funeral home part is usually from 5pm onwards..

sorry to hear that. i feel it's nice to give people a good send off

As Michael O'Leary of Ryanair has been quoted as saying. I like nothing better than an Irish funeral! The flights are usually quite expensive given the short time span.

I’m in Scotland, funerals used to be 3-4 days after the death, obviously, if there was a PM, maybe longer but nowhere near how long it is now. The last 3 cremations we have been to, it’s taken 3 weeks! All very elderly people who have just been very frail….

Alos in Ireland the local radio stations will have a death notice bulletin every say sometimes a couple times of day. the local papers and some of the major papers will list death notices too. there is a website rip.ie where yoi can look to see who has died funeral arrangements and also write condolences

England is the outlier. We had two funerals in Scotland during Covid and it took a week from death to burial. After Covid, it was the same.

Precedence is given to those of the orthodox Jewish and Muslim faiths who need to bury their death very quickly. (Probably the custom arose because of the heat in the Middle East@) so that means if you are in an area where these faiths predominate then your funeral might be delayed. However, cremations should not be affected by this factor.
When I came to this country I was surprised by how long it took. It isn’t the best because it prolongs the natural stages of grief.

Well in Ireland, it is expected and the cultural norm that you WILL just drop everything. Pretty much no questions asked. And children generally go to funerals so childcare isn't usually an issue. That goes for immediate family absolutely but to an extent also outside of that.

Burial within a week is the norm in the states. Religious or unembalmed are usually a day or 2 max but most are 5-7 days from death here. Viewings at funeral homes used to be 3-4 days then the funeral but in recent years its more like 1-2 days viewing due to the exorbitant rates funeral homes charge.

I worked w/a Mexican immigrant who attended a wake at funeral home and she was shocked and dismayed at the whole system here. She said omg people were walking around chatting drinking coffee while his mother lay there with makeup all over her face. She said in Mexico you die today, tomorrow you’re buried and we scream, cry, fall on the floor, we don’t walk around chit chatting around the deceased! ‘I pray every day I don’t die here.’ It was such a funny view on our funeral system here.

Quick question about funeral in Northern Ireland, is there a website which you can check for funeral arrangements?

How soon after death is the funeral usually?

In Judaism and Islam it’s done within a matter of 24-48 hours tops, whatever country you’re in (post-Mortems can extend this a bit).

Denial/numbness can be a stage of grief, certainly the first few days after my DF died I was in denial so couldn’t have coped with his funeral then. Do you miss out that stage if you have a quick funeral?

It won’t delay as the Jewish (and I assume Muslim) burial societies are very well-oiled machines and run totally separately from regular burials in their own consecrated ground.

In India it’s done within a few hours if the death occurs in the morning. Eg fil died in the morning, within 30mins a doctor arrived and issues the death certificate. He was young and so was sent to the morgue for an atopsy but even then the body was returned quickly and cremation ceremonies began within 3 hours of death. By that evening we had taken receipt of his ashes, made dinner for 100 people (and arranged it for 200 more) and were getting ready for the overnight ceremonies. I think the UK is just shit at funerals.

Where I live in the US the 'norm' is 3 to 5 days if everybody is 'local'. A bit longer if either the deceased, their family, or close relatives are 'traveling' to the location of the services. But longer than a week would be very odd unless it's a memorial service (ie no body or cremains). Memorial services can be weeks to months after a death.

If there is an autopsy/investigation those days would be from when the body is released by the coroner.

My experience (of 3 close relatives) has been that it took over the ‘legal’ 5 days to register the death because it took several days to get the certificate from the doctor and then the next available appointment to actually register the death with the registrars was over a week away in each case. And I tried across the whole county - not just the local office. (A post Mortem was only necessary for one of the 3). Then needed to arrange the funeral/cremation - therefore 3 or 4 weeks is not unusual.

Hmmm @clary I meant no offence. Looking it it appears that term does refer to a ctlrime however I do not really appreciate you trying to police my words.

We were unfortunately 1st on the scene and this term was used many times by the police and paramedics.

It was also used by the courts and in the local paper to explain why his girlfriend who was supposed to appear in court 2 days (for something unrelated) had her sentencing deferred.

I will make an effort not to use this term however I believe that providing support rather than policing peoples' words is far more beneficial. This man was well known to the police. He had been sectioned in the past and this was not his first attempt. It never should've happened.

I recently met up with a friend on a Friday night, she’s originally from Poland. Her grandfather had died that morning, I expressed my condolences and asked if she would go home for the funeral. She said she wouldn’t have time, she expected he would be buried by the Monday at the latest.