You’re out for a coffee, cake and people watching in a cafe, what annoys you and spoils the experience?

[Britpopbaby]

People who “talk” so loudly that even in a busy cafe you can follow their full conversation.

No, they mean speaking to their children in a way that is not actually for the child but is actually a big performance for everyone else in the cafe. And yes, it's really annoying.

Wow, do the Radfords do coffee as a family - must cost a fortune.

I have to say this! ^ it’s the most baffling thing. I don’t go to coffee shops but I have spent a lot of time this year in departure lounges and Brexit queues <eternal hard stare>, and it’s the conversations around me that just confound me entirely. Not ever even remotely interesting to the person being spoken to, yet (all too often) blokey drones on and on about minutiae of travel/delays/planes/fuck knows what else.

its not even small talk. It’s talk so small you need a fuck off microscope to spot it. It’s a waste of breath and a waste of anyone’s (over)hearing.

that, and twats on phones with loud speaker blaring calling their entire family one by one and loudly chuntering on to them.

someone sat next to me at breakfast once and totally ruined my Parisian hotel breakfast with the chomping of food, speaking with mouth full and mouth open.
the entire little group between our table and next were all at it. <le fume>

Paying for a 4 pound coffee that tastes like dishwater.

Currently having a coffee waiting for my car to be cleaned. Two mums have just coming with little kids, all dressed up for Halloween, very cute and obviously excited. They are letting them shout their of game at each other though. I do think at time parents become desensitised to the noise of their little ones.

They go to Disney World!

Sticky tables. Yes those bloody people who speak with raised volume so you can’t tune them out. This happened to us in a restaurant the other evening. A group were talking about cycling. At least make the conversation interesting. 🤣

Any dogs or other pets.

I agree. Always disappointing. Its why the scones sell out first.

When people read at the table. It's a cafe not a bloody library!!

Seeing someone else's cake & realising you've made the wrong choice

Especially the loud blokes. “Hi it’s Hugh. Yah, yah, good thanks. Ahahaha yes! So can you give me a rundown of the blahdiblah project please. Yah yah, I hear you”. On and on at 100 decibels.
They do the same on the train!

When you're getting a full dramatic rendition of Brief Encounter and one of the couple's phone goes off and they skidaddle too early. Can fair spoil your macaroon.

You’re annoyed by someone quietly reading a book?

One of the most bizarre things I've ever read on MN. How does someone else reading at a table affect you in any way shape or form?!

When people reserve tables before getting their food

I don't understand this. What are they supposed to do? What if they go and queue up first and then there are no tables left to sit and eat their food?

My pet hate is when one person sits on a table for four when there are plenty of smaller tables available. I see it all the time and I find it really inconsiderate.

I like kids, I don't think I've ever been in a café and found children annoying. But I could really do without other people's pets, specifically dogs, being allowed in. Especially when it's raining out and they stink of wet fur.

Out of interest, what pets other than dogs have you ever seen in a cafe?

@guineakoo
@partypartypartytime

Speaking to your children is fine. Educating your children is fine. Marvellous.
What is not fine, is doing it a louder than normal volume.
Which it ALWAYS is.
Educate them loudly at home or on a just the two of you walk. Not, so that the strangers next to you can't hear themselves think. NO ONE is interested.

If that's the most bizarre you haven't been here very long clearly 😂 Just a pet peeve

Parents who spend their time in the cafe looking at their phones while their children run wild.
Children generally.
Over-excitable teens squealing and out-shouting each other.
Loud music.
Young staff who look at older female customers with undisguised contempt.

Well if you're on your own, you can't reserve a table, and you go and buy your food and there's no where to sit because of all the buggers reserving their tables. So they should do the same as I have to do.

it really stresses me out that there'll be nowhere for me to sit by the time I get my food.

I have no problem saying no when asked if I mind sharing my table or sending dry cake back.

I also hate being shown to a table in a less favourable location.

Screeching toddlers and children; people conducting phone calls on loudspeaker or watching iPad with the same; loud groups who feel the need to shout.

Yes, I also find it infuriating hearing parents converse with their children, it's so middle class 🙄

I mean, jeez...I consider myself to be one of the most anti social, introverted and generally intolerant people I know, but some of you lot take the absolute biscuit. How do you go about your business without feeling permanently enraged? It must be exhausting.