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Original poster

Why do celebrity deaths sadden you?

113 replies

Iturnedmyfaceaway · 29/10/2023 09:51

For me there are two kinds of reaction. There are “lives well-lived” -people like David Bowie who just seemed to have figured life out and improved it for the rest of us. The sort of person you would want to be.

and then there are the intensely frustrating ones like Matthew Perry where I think “what’s the point of striving for love and money and admiration when this is what it does to people?” It seems to make the striving for those things a bit pointless.

OP posts:
Stardustkid · 29/10/2023 10:20

Anyones death saddens me and I’m the case of Matthew he had his demons and seemed to be getting better. It’s sad he didn’t get the time to rid himself of his demons. We grew up watching him and felt we knew him. He was part of my growing up. We left the pub early on Friday night to watch the last episode ’Live’.

LakeTiticaca · 29/10/2023 10:22

Depends on the manner of the death I should think.

Saddest celebrity imo was George Michael, such a huge talent and a very generous man who struggled with his demons for many years x

0rch · 29/10/2023 10:24

It just doesn't bother me at all. I never knew them so I feel nothing.

ssd · 29/10/2023 10:24

I think any sudden death brings us up short when the person is relatively young. It reminds us of our own fragility.

Doteycat · 29/10/2023 10:26

With someone like Matthew Perry I think it's the end of an era kind of thing. Friends was a huge part of my pop culture life in its heyday. My kids love it now. Sayings from it are part of our everyday vernacular. So it's a sea change when he's now dead.
It's also a reminder that all the money in the world won't save you from demons. People who could have had everything and yet still didn't.

Original poster
Iturnedmyfaceaway · 29/10/2023 10:29

“It's also a reminder that all the money in the world won't save you from demons. People who could have had everything and yet still didn't.”

yes, this.
I don’t envy or resent people for becoming wealthy and successful, but when that doesn’t make them happy it bothers me a lot.

OP posts:
WetBandits · 29/10/2023 10:32

The reports are that Matthew Perry accidentally drowned in his hot tub, no drugs found in his home but obviously pending post mortem investigations. He had been playing sport and then got into the hot tub, he could have quite easily had a heart attack if he already had an elevated heart rate from playing sport and then got into a hot tub, which also raises the heart rate, slipped under the water and drowned. I know he has had his troubles but from the reports, this seems like an accidental drowning.

Not sure what that has to do with ‘what striving for love or money does to people’?

LeonBlack · 29/10/2023 10:36

I saw that Matthew Perry has died and thought ‘that’s sad’ as I would about anyone I knew of in the public eye.

I don’t really get people saying they’re ‘devastated’ but I assume it’s hyperbole.

RudsyFarmer · 29/10/2023 10:37

I think for most people it’s nostalgia.

It’s a person who walked alongside you for a moment of time, who made you laugh or made you feel an important emotion at that time and they are no longer here. It can also make you feel a little more fallible, particularly if a celebrity your age dies of natural causes.

Of course for some people it’s more than that. They had extremely strong emotions associated with that individual and I can understand strong feelings of loss or anger coming alongside their death.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 29/10/2023 10:39

Early/young deaths - loss of talent

Original poster
Iturnedmyfaceaway · 29/10/2023 10:40

Wetbandits I haven’t figured out how to articulate the feeling - am trying to figure it out.

OP posts:
HandbagMarinara · 29/10/2023 10:41

Doteycat · 29/10/2023 10:26

With someone like Matthew Perry I think it's the end of an era kind of thing. Friends was a huge part of my pop culture life in its heyday. My kids love it now. Sayings from it are part of our everyday vernacular. So it's a sea change when he's now dead.
It's also a reminder that all the money in the world won't save you from demons. People who could have had everything and yet still didn't.

This.

I am sad about Chandler, whilst obviously realising that he is Matthew.

I am a similar age, I felt like it was part of me growing up, I got married the same year as Monica and Chandler- it highlights the fragility of life.

For Matthew as it would be for all people, I am sorry for his loved ones and hope he didn't suffer.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 29/10/2023 10:42

In his case which is likely he was under the influence when he drowned it's just so sad especially as he was battling addiction.

Thebigblueballoon · 29/10/2023 10:42

Celebrity deaths never sadden me. Well, they do - any death is sad, obviously - but not to the point where I’m posting rubbish on my social media about how awful it is and how I’m sooooo devastated. I find it quite bizarre and frankly attention-seeking.

HandbagMarinara · 29/10/2023 10:43

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Vinorosso74 · 29/10/2023 10:43

Hard to explain really. When it's people I've watched on TV/in films or listened to their music, it's part of something I've enjoyed or grown up with. I feel sad to an extent but nothing like someone I know dying.

Doteycat · 29/10/2023 10:43

He was sober.
He could have had a cardiac arrest and in the hot tub with no one home.
As he was sober and as he said strong in his own sobriety, its fairly shit to assume he had relapsed.

SisterMichaelsHabit · 29/10/2023 10:44

For me there's a lot going on. There's the sadness that they had demons (where this is the case), the sadness of someone who is a familiar face now gone, but (and this is very selfish I know) a big part of the sadness is knowing we will have no more of their acting/writing/music/whatever I appreciated them for. I was profoundly sad when Terry Pratchett died, for example, because it seemed so unfair that all the amazing stuff in his brain would never come out now, it was just gone forever.

LaLaLouella · 29/10/2023 10:44

WetBandits · 29/10/2023 10:32

The reports are that Matthew Perry accidentally drowned in his hot tub, no drugs found in his home but obviously pending post mortem investigations. He had been playing sport and then got into the hot tub, he could have quite easily had a heart attack if he already had an elevated heart rate from playing sport and then got into a hot tub, which also raises the heart rate, slipped under the water and drowned. I know he has had his troubles but from the reports, this seems like an accidental drowning.

Not sure what that has to do with ‘what striving for love or money does to people’?

Edited

You are somewhat missing out the 30 or so years of drug and alcohol addiction, exacerbated by fame/money/self doubt in that statement...

NigelHarmansNewWife · 29/10/2023 10:44

Completely normal to have a soft spot for someone who was in a TV show like Friends which captured the mood of the time and was so well-loved. It was a really good show which is precisely why it was so popular and is still shown now. It catapulted its stars to worldwide fame.

DrivingDSaround2023 · 29/10/2023 10:45

There's only one death that has really saddened me - Taylor Hawkins from Foo Fighters.

I think this one hit me hard for a selfish reason because I know I will never see him playing live again and experience that joy of seeing him live.

MeinKraft · 29/10/2023 10:45

Its more about ourselves than feeling sad for the actual person who died I think. It feels like the end of an era when someone big like that dies. The Friends era is over now, there won't be any more special episodes or reunions or a movie. This is one of those shows that people often rewatch and now it'll always be in the back of viewers minds that Chandler is dead - a bit of the innocent and joy has gone. He was also very young which is always really sad, and makes us think about our own mortality too.

Mummyme87 · 29/10/2023 10:45

I feel like I grew up with him, in a character way. We watched him for 10years, the funny one. Little did we know what was going on behind closed doors.

WeWereInParis · 29/10/2023 10:47

I'd say celebrity deaths might sadden me for a variety of reasons.

Firstly obviously feeling a connection to the celebrity. Alan Rickman for example, for me, was always Snape. I grew up with Harry Potter, the books and the films and obviously I'm aware he has many other great roles, but him as Snape was a big part of my childhood.

Secondly there are deaths where the circumstances resonate. Robin Williams, who I was a big fan of anyway, died by suicide, and I have lost a family member the same way and come very close to suicide myself. So any death from suicide affects me, whether it's a celebrity or not.

And then there are really tragic circumstances that seem to just get to you. I was never really a fan of Glee but I think Naya Rivera's death was awful. Her son must have been terrified, she must have died knowing she'd got him back into the boat but terrified that he'd end up back in the water somehow. I have a child the same age and it honestly makes me tear up just thinking about it. I'd feel the same if she hadn't been famous, but I almost certainly wouldn't have heard about it, so it wouldn't have been able to affect me.

I think when people say they're devastated, they don't mean it in the same way as they'd be devastated if their mother died. I think they sort of mean, "within the context of celebrity deaths, this is one that I find particularly upsetting". It's not a word I'd use about my own feelings though.

xogossipgirlxo · 29/10/2023 10:49

MeinKraft · Today 10:45

Its more about ourselves than feeling sad for the actual person who died I think. It feels like the end of an era when someone big like that dies. The Friends era is over now, there won't be any more special episodes or reunions or a movie. This is one of those shows that people often rewatch and now it'll always be in the back of viewers minds that Chandler is dead - a bit of the innocent and joy has gone. He was also very young which is always really sad, and makes us think about our own mortality too.

x

This exactly. Watching Friends will never feel the same, it will always be bittersweet for me.

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