Why do celebrity deaths sadden you?

[Iturnedmyfaceaway]

For me there are two kinds of reaction. There are “lives well-lived” -people like David Bowie who just seemed to have figured life out and improved it for the rest of us. The sort of person you would want to be.

and then there are the intensely frustrating ones like Matthew Perry where I think “what’s the point of striving for love and money and admiration when this is what it does to people?” It seems to make the striving for those things a bit pointless.

DH & I said this morning that it's very sad about Matthew Perry and that you just never know what's going on in someone's life. That was basically it.

Go back to the 21st April 2016 and I cried for 10 days solid over Prince.
I loved him, but also it was my DB who first introduced me to his music, back in '82.
Entertainment USA was on and the Little Red Corvette video was playing.
DB said 'Hey our kid, have you seen this guy'.

DB died of cancer in 2012. With hindsight I think most of those tears over those 10 days were for him.

To answer your actual question though, I do feel sad when a celebrity whose work has impacted on me in some way has died for a number of reasons. You feel nostalgic when you remember why you became a fan of theirs in the first place, then you realise that you’ll never see any new work from them and see them develop their career further.

Sometimes the circumstances of their death are so frustratingly preventable, as you mentioned, but I am thinking more along the lines of Amy Winehouse there. I was never a fan of her music, but she became famous when I was in my teens and was very popular at the time so she still felt very familiar, and her death affected me quite a bit at the time because she had seemed to be getting better. I still feel sad when I think of her because I am now older than she was when she died, and she still had her whole life to live.

I feel sad when I hear that anyone has died, really, whether I knew them/of them or not because they were either loved by someone who will be missing them or, perhaps worse, would be remembered by nobody at all. I set up a syringe driver on a man in his nineties on Friday and despite it being the first and last time I would ever meet him, I felt so sad when I left him because I knew that he would be leaving alone since his partner died 20 years ago and he had no friends or family left. He was unresponsive when I arrived to see him but I made sure I said ‘goodbye, name’ when I left, just in case it was the last time he ever heard it. I checked his notes the next day and he had died in the night in between the carers in his care home going to check on him so he had been totally alone.

Death is a funny thing because it makes you think of your own life and that it could end at any time, even those who ‘have it all’ could die at any time. Sorry for the essay, I deal with death a lot and even though it’s in a professional capacity, it can be difficult to leave it at the door sometimes.

Not me, but I guess for some they are artists in a way and the sadness comes from realising they would no longer producing new 'art' for their fans to enjoy.

We all value various forms of entertainment, for some it's sport, others paintings or performances. Someone may value an actor's craft as much as another would value tennis player's ability. I think it's snobbery to refuse to accept this tbh.

I agree with this^
I once accidentally fall asleep in a hot bath after really late flight home, luckily my sibling knocked and asked me something but otherwise anything could happen. And I was in my 20s without any heart troubles.

No, I actually mentioned them if you read my post. The reports are that no drugs were found at the scene and that he was found underwater. Speculating on whether he was under the influence when he drowned is such a twatty thing to do when he might have just drowned, as many people who are also not under the influence do every day.

His heart was probably not in very good shape from the aforementioned drug and alcohol abuse and obesity in recent years. It’s entirely possible that his heart just couldn’t cope with two hours of sport followed by immersion in hot water. I’m healthy and I can still feel my heart rate accelerate when I play sport and when I am in a hot tub.

I think it's always sadder when they die young.

Thinking about the idea of "feeling like you know them" - I think that phrase has a tendency to make people picture a slightly pathetic attachment where you feel like you're friends with the celebrity. I don't feel that at all, I'm totally aware that I don't actually know them and they certainly are not even aware of me, but still, through interviews and exposure you get a bit of a sense of them as a person, and that makes it a bit more tragic to think of their death than somebody totally anonymous.

I fall asleep in the bath every single evening. It’s one of my pleasures in life.

I think it's also worth noting that in an average social media friendship network of over 100 people, it might seem like "everyone" is having an outpouring of grief for every celebrity, but it's more likely that different people are affected by the passing of different celebrities and it just looks OTT because of the way the newsfeed algorithm works and the fact that when people notice someone is sad on social media, they tend to comment in a supportive but possibly hyperbolic way to make the OP feel better or to seem like they are doing the "right thing". Grief tourists aside, of course.

I don’t grieve for people I never met. To do so appears insincere, self-indulgent & performative. Often, it is little more than vacuous empty virtue-signaling.

I do recognise that it’s a shame when very talented people achieve great success and wealth by producing work which millions of people admire, but that makes them very unhappy and their lives end prematurely because of it. George Michael bring an obvious example.

I feel the same way about celebrity deaths as I would about hearing the death of a nodding acquaintance, there is a sense of familiarity but you don't know them personally or what they are like.
Some are " sadder" than others, for example Betty White would be elderly so sad but expected. Peaches Geldolf, very young with small children, I feel a bit worse about.
I wouldn't dwell on it or be devastated or compare it to losing a friend or family.member though.
I wouldn't be affected with the level of success or money that a person had though. I would feel it's as much of a shame that Matthew Perry had died than if Roger, five doors down, had drowned in his hot tub.

It’s a sadness that stops you in your tracks and makes you think of all the funny lines he said. His character was in our homes for nearly 30 years, you feel you know him. The thought that he died is upsetting.

Nobody is saying it’s the same as losing a member of your own family or anything. I won’t need to take a day off work tomorrow or go to grief counselling because I’m so bereft. It’s just a poignancy that this familiar face is no longer with us and it’s a shame because he left a big impression that will
live on.

Yeah for me it's the ones I know have struggled for years with their health or mental health but never manage to find peace before the end. Robin Williams and Heath Ledger really got to me. The Queen didn't. However I do seem to have a lot less compassion for the ones who caused others a lot of pain in life first.

If you look at Matthew Perry's Instagram posts from the last few days it looks like there may be more to it than sudden death. That makes it extra sad, he was a very troubled man. I hope he's at peace now.

Me too.

I think there is an outpouring of grief for most people who die young, famous or not. My aunt died at 37 and the area she lived found it a shock and there was public (but very localised) outpouring of grief for the loss of potential and life yet to be lived.

There are sometimes other factors that influence the collective grieving I think. They were a parent to young children. They’d publicly suffered with mental health problems or addiction problems. Sometimes it’s because we relate to these issues ourselves or know someone who has gone through it, sometimes it’s just knowing how hard those people are working to stay alive. There’s also the collective shock.

I wasn’t sad when the Queen died but something felt amiss. I’m rather indifferent about the royals but she’d literally been there, present for all of my life, just there in the background. For someone like David Bowie, I wasn’t a fan and I didn’t grow up with my mum listening to him but his songs are such a part of pop culture and so I guess it feels like… a disturbance in the force. You know many people enjoy his music and it weaves effortlessly into our cultural history that he could just be gone takes you a little while to get your head around.

I’m sad that Matthew Perry is dead. Partly because it feels like he battled so hard. A lot of it is I grew up watching friends. I don’t want a remake or a movie or to bring it back 20 years like they have with other beloved shows. However, the knowledge that there can’t be any more is sad. I loved the reunion, I loved learning about bits that were unscripted and you won’t get that again now. You might still get snippets from the other 5 but you won’t get the whole perspective. I watch friends pretty regularly, I’ve never watched any show as much as I’ve watched friends. I started rewatching it the other week because I was sick. I know every line so I can sleep during episodes and not miss anything but it always make me feel better. I won’t be able to watch it now without thinking it’s a shame that Matthew Perry has died.

I said it was likely not that it definitely happened.Theres only one cunt in this conversation and its not me

It IS sad. No more FRIENDS, ever! No opportunities to have a reunion or do a spin off. It's the end of an era . RIP Matthew Perry and thank you for the memories

It's sad when anyone dies young, but I don't feel more sadness for Matthew Perry than I would for anyone else I didn't know (eg a friend of a friend) who died in similar circumstances. I do find it a bit weird when people get so upset by celebrity deaths.

With some it's because you loved their work. With some it's because they remind you so much of a particular time in your life. They played The Rembrandts this morning on the radio and for a millisecond I was about to text a dear friend who's been dead for 15 years. I miss her a lot, but it's been a very long time since that happened. Just took me back.

I imagine Friends has that nostalgia factor for many of us.

But people do know of him more than you know of a friend of a friend, I think it's disingenuous to pretend otherwise. I'd feel more saddened by the death of a friend of a friend if over the years I'd seen loads of footage of them as a person and insights into their life. Not deeply saddened to my core, but more sad than I would be if I had not seen those things.

I’m with Blue Peanut (below)
The Queen’s death gave me pause and I watched her funeral but mostly I felt pleased for her to have stayed so active until so soon before her death, so it was more a feeling of marking a life well-lived.

“BlueEyedPeanut · Today 11:13

Yeah for me it's the ones I know have struggled for years with their health or mental health but never manage to find peace before the end. Robin Williams and Heath Ledger really got to me. The Queen didn't. However I do seem to have a lot less compassion for the ones who caused others a lot of pain in life first.”

I'm sad about the death of Matthew Perry, not only as I'm a massive friends fan but I have been reading his book this week. The honesty he shares is beautiful and i feel it gives a wonderful insight into addiction. I have about ten pages left to read but I don't know how I'll feel now completing it now he's gone.

Do you feel the same about the Holocaust? A child murdered? No feelings at all?
Just wondering. As you don't know them either.

This one has really saddened and shaken me, I cried when I found out (though was already crying). I think as PP has said it represents the end of an era and I was really happy growing up watching Friends, to know that's over and also to think of the sadness the rest of that group will not be feeling is hard. He was also far too young.

Peaches Geldof was another one which hit me very hard.