Why do celebrity deaths sadden you?

[Iturnedmyfaceaway]

For me there are two kinds of reaction. There are “lives well-lived” -people like David Bowie who just seemed to have figured life out and improved it for the rest of us. The sort of person you would want to be.

and then there are the intensely frustrating ones like Matthew Perry where I think “what’s the point of striving for love and money and admiration when this is what it does to people?” It seems to make the striving for those things a bit pointless.

Some celebrity deaths are shocking because of the age of the person or the manner in which they have died. The actress Natasha Richardson who was married to Liam Neeson died in a skiing accident which I found quite shocking at the time. I find those kind of deaths shocking in general though, whether the person is well-known or not. There was a split second in which things could have gone differently. Similar to the ice hockey player mentioned- a very shocking and sad death.

The only celebrity deaths that have made me feel genuinely sad are Rik Mayall and Sean Lock. With Rik because I enjoyed his comedy throughout my childhood/young adulthood. He was so talented and part of the ‘landscape’ of my youth. Sean was also immensely talented. I’d seen him live and hoped to again. I know we can’t really know what celebrities are like in real life but the tributes paid to both of these men after their deaths painted them as good men. Likeable, supportive to their colleagues, friendly to their fans and with their feet on the ground. Both had families (still quite young in Sean’s case I think) which is particularly sad. I always wonder what it’s like for the loved ones of the deceased when they are grieving their person and there are thousands of strangers online saying ‘I miss him too!’ Hopefully it is of some comfort to families that their loved one made such an impact on people, but it might also feel intrusive. You’d perhaps feel like shouting ‘But he was my Dad! You didn’t know him!’

George Michael and Amy Winehouse- both very sad because both too young and the death of the person meant the loss of the talent itself. As others have said, it meant no more records.

Bowie’s death was sad because he was a legend. I felt like the world shifted on its axis when he went. ‘How could David Bowie die? He was an extraordinary man and then he goes and does something completely ordinary. Reminds us that none of us are immune, not even legends.

But Rik and Sean are the only ones I still feel sad about when I think of them.

I think it depends what that person means to you. I have loved friends since I was a teenager, I have it on in the background to fall asleep to at night. I have felt so sad about Matthew passing. But then other celebs, I don't feel upset about if I wasn't a "fan". But I think it's about age too. I love Harry Potter and was sad when Michael Gambon died, but not as much as he was older.

@Legendairy, I was 14 when Freddie Mercury died and it was probably the first celebrity death that was on my radar at all. He was such an incredible talent and like you, I thought his death must have been devastating for his band mates.

@Essenceofpetunia I remember seeing them on morning TV and talking about him, very soon after, I couldn't get my head round how they could do it without crying but obv as I got older I understand that you can do these things when you need to.

I was lucky enough to see Queen and Adam Lambert last year and the tributes to Freddie were beautiful, I cried lots.

I think it's sad that Matthew Perry is gone, because he made it cool to be sensitive and intelligent and a bit of a geek. I really was glad that he showed us that. I'm sorry that he is gone, and especially sorry that he struggled along the way. I hope he is in a good place now.

A colleague at works baby died at 40 days old. I never met the baby but it was an incredibly sad time, I was quite affected by it. I don't think that is strange at all. The funeral was extremely tough. I was only 19 at the time and I will never forget my colleagues face as he carried his babies coffin into the church.

I find it sad when anyone dies at a young age, I find it odd to have no feelings at all about it. I find it sadder to ne personally when it is someone that's had influence within my life whether I know them or not.

I'm not talking about some sort of hysterical mourning, but I shed a few tears this morning in the privacy of my own home, I wouldn't put anything dramatic on FB at all as its private to me.

Friends was part of my flatmates’ and my Friday routine when it was first on. It reminds me of being in my twenties, having fun, enjoying independence, career building. I’m about 3-6 years younger than the six stars and I was living a similar lifestyle as their characters (rented place in London with a group of mixed-sex friends, two of whom were dating each other). The local pub with big sofas and staff who knew us was our Central Perk, I suppose.

The crux is that those times are getting further and further in the past. I still think of 1998 as being about 15 years ago. It is not of course, and the recent death brings this fact back into focus. Also, realising that Maggie Wheeler (Janice) who wrote a lovely tribute to Matthew today, is in her 60s. Time is marching on.

I think part of why Matthew Perry’s death is so sad is because whatever the cause it’s just a sad ending. It feels incomplete for him. If he relapsed, it’s sad because he’s worked so hard to be sober and ultimately still couldn’t manage it. If he was sober but has taken his own life as people are speculating due to his Instagram posts, then he beat his addiction but still couldn’t be at peace. If he died because of a cardiac arrest due to his past substance abuse, it’s sad because he’d overcome his addiction but it still killed him, just many years later. If he died due to cardiac arrest after he’d been exercising, then it’s sad because he was trying to stay active, trying to be healthy to possibly make up for the abuse he’d put his body through.

I genuinely felt very sad reading about Matthew Perry this morning. As you say @Iturnedmyfaceaway it just makes you think that celebrity, striving for people's admiration and glory just isn't worth it seems to so often destroy people. Amy Winehouse is another one where I felt like that. Rest in peace Matthew Perry, may he find some peace from his demons.

Both my DC love Friends, and watch it over and over. They both cried.

I think it's perfectly normal to be a bit upset when a well-known person dies. For someone on TV etc, you 'invite' them into your living room. You know a bit about their lives. You may have seen them interviewed. You feel like you know them somewhat.

I think Freddie Mercury got to me most, because he was too young and so insanely talented. I was very sad about the death of the Queen, because she seemed destined to go on forever, because of her lifelong dedication to her role, because she had always been there. Though I shed buckets of tears watching Prince Philip's funeral, from the minute I saw his naval cap on top of the coffin, and because the wee Queen was so isolated yet so dignified in her grief.

I think you would have to have a heart of stone not to have at least a twang when you hear of the death of anyone you know of.

I had a work colleague whose grandson died at 5 months old, cot death. That was really sad. Grandad was an avid photographer and kept showing anyone who would look his photos of the little boy.

An older boy at school whom I only knew to see, was killed under the wheels of a double decker bus when pupils were pushing to get on. I will never forget the atmosphere in school after it happened.

A work colleague recently married, mixed marriage, Belfast in the 80s, was shot dead in her bed. That was horrific, stuff of nightmares.

I lost both parents inside a few months.

Just a few examples really. All different levels of personal involvement, loss and grief, yet a certain amount of empathy underpinning them all.

.Bowie’s death was sad because he was a legend. I felt like the world shifted on its axis when he went. ‘How could David Bowie die? He was an extraordinary man and then he goes and does something completely ordinary. Reminds us that none of us are immune, not even legends

Very, very well said.

I think it’s sad he died so young and it was like we knew him as he was so well known, but I’m not particularly sad. I was surprised at a friend who has posted multiple threads on Facebook about how sad she is today. Like, you didn’t know him, stop it. I remember a colleague properly sobbing at Michael Jackson’s death and being majorly surprised when I realised who she was crying about. I find it odd that people are so affected.

I don't think people should be comparing celebrities and how x was a legend etc so thats why it was sad, different people mean different things to people. For instance MP had way more impact on me than David Bowie, I can probably only name a handful of his songs and I don't really know much about him other than him apparently having a relationship with a young teen.

Some of my friends were obsessed with Prince and pretty much mourned him, one couldn't even watch a tribute show a year later without breaking down. He is a very together person but it must have just really felt it. I thought it was sad as he was talented but he'd had no impact on my life at all.