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Original poster

Tell me something I should already know

115 replies

Mumwithqs · 29/10/2023 07:57

So I imagine this is a relatively normal way for some people to feel, but I'm 7 months pregnant (very happily) and feel as though I don't actually know how to look after a baby.

The general advice seems to be that it'll all just come to me naturally but I'm the type of person who plans everything and hate going into things feeling like to don't know what I'm doing. I will panic if I don't know what/why my baby is doing something.

What's your top piece of advice? Especially re- sleeping, (bottle) feeding, bathing etc

OP posts:
smartiesneberhadtheanswer · 29/10/2023 07:58

My top piece would be to consider breast feeding - so much easier than bottle once you get the hang of it.

Birchvalley · 29/10/2023 08:02

Get a bucket bath. My friend gave me one - it was really easy to use.

YourNameGoesHere · 29/10/2023 08:05

My top piece of useful baby advice is that vests are designed to be removed over the shoulders and down so when baby inevitably has a nappy explosion you don't need to pull a shitty vest over the babies head.

Everything else is pretty self explanatory but I'm glad I knew this before having my son and I've come across so many parents who have no idea this is an option.

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Scottishgirl85 · 29/10/2023 08:11

Don't listen to anyone re feeding. I tortured myself around breastfeeding and pumped for 6 months out of guilt. 3 times over...

Bathing is simple, no need to complicate. Just buy an angel care bath seat or similar.

Never wake a sleeping baby. And put down to sleep from the very 1st day. Cuddling a sleeping baby is lovely, but you could be brewing a nightmare that could last years. It's ALL about your baby's ability to self-settle.

notafraidofthebigbadwolf · 29/10/2023 08:13

If you are going to breastfeed, make sure you have a huge water bottle on hand, something like a cycling bottle that you can drink from at any angle. I remember the thirst about one minute in being insane!

KateyCuckoo · 29/10/2023 08:15

smartiesneberhadtheanswer · 29/10/2023 07:58

My top piece would be to consider breast feeding - so much easier than bottle once you get the hang of it.

Wow that didn't take long!

Original poster
Mumwithqs · 29/10/2023 08:17

YourNameGoesHere · 29/10/2023 08:05

My top piece of useful baby advice is that vests are designed to be removed over the shoulders and down so when baby inevitably has a nappy explosion you don't need to pull a shitty vest over the babies head.

Everything else is pretty self explanatory but I'm glad I knew this before having my son and I've come across so many parents who have no idea this is an option.

Thank you I definitely wouldn't have known that!

OP posts:
AnnaBegins · 29/10/2023 08:17

The 4th trimester is a thing! For the first 3 months, babies are not prepared to be put down or be far from you at all - they're still adjusting to be outside of you! So don't be surprised if for (at least) the first 3 months you are rarely hands free, it's developmentally normal. See your local sling library for a sling so you can have a cuppa hands free.

Also, if in doubt, feed the baby. Solves most things!

Multipleexclamationmarks · 29/10/2023 08:19

Stop telling the op to breastfeed, it's so offensive when she's already stated she's bottle feeding. You have no idea why!

My advice would be do it how feels right for you op. Nothing bad will happen if you don't bath baby every single day or leave them to cry for a few minutes while you take a shower/make a brew.
Lower your housework standards for the time being and ask for help when you need it.
Enjoy your baby. X

Original poster
Mumwithqs · 29/10/2023 08:19

Scottishgirl85 · 29/10/2023 08:11

Don't listen to anyone re feeding. I tortured myself around breastfeeding and pumped for 6 months out of guilt. 3 times over...

Bathing is simple, no need to complicate. Just buy an angel care bath seat or similar.

Never wake a sleeping baby. And put down to sleep from the very 1st day. Cuddling a sleeping baby is lovely, but you could be brewing a nightmare that could last years. It's ALL about your baby's ability to self-settle.

I've already made the decision to bottle feed, that obviously comes with criticism but so be it.

I feel like cuddling to sleep would be very tempting so will make sure I definitely put down to sleep right from the start, thank you

OP posts:
YourNameGoesHere · 29/10/2023 08:19

Mumwithqs · 29/10/2023 08:17

Thank you I definitely wouldn't have known that!

Show quote history

You're welcome. It's such a handy bit of advice that you genuinely wouldn't know unless someone told you. It's much more useful than 95% of the stuff I was told in my antenatal classes. 😅

DRS1970 · 29/10/2023 08:22

Infacol is great for colic.

Witchesdontburn · 29/10/2023 08:23

Real babies aren’t like babies on TV .

MagpiePi · 29/10/2023 08:25

Don’t buy baby specific stuff, until you actually need it. You really don’t need special bags or towels and things like that in pastel colours with bunnies on.

Breastfeeding really is easy once it’s established, no measuring and sterilising and faffing, and it’s free, but we’re clearly not allowed to say that!

Continueasweareormakeachange · 29/10/2023 08:26

Don't compare yourself to others. They don't know any better (at least the first time round) and every baby is different. I would have enjoyed my first baby far more if I'd kept this in mind.

MrsMoastyToasty · 29/10/2023 08:27

If you have a boy, take his socks off before changing his nappy. The stream of wee can go anywhere once the nappy is removed!
Babies can't fall off the floor! I was always scared that my DS was going to roll off a changing table. Kneeling on the floor was easier.

KeeefBurtain · 29/10/2023 08:27

If baby won’t settle either put them in the bath or take them outside. One of the 2 will work.

MagpiePi · 29/10/2023 08:28

I feel like cuddling to sleep would be very tempting so will make sure I definitely put down to sleep right from the start, thank you

Please don’t. Your baby will just feel abandoned and stressed. A small baby’s wants are needs, they are not trying to manipulate you.

AgathaMiss · 29/10/2023 08:29

Don't wake a sleeping baby doesn't apply when they're newborn. My DS was very sleepy and I should have been waking him to feed and establish milk supply.

By the time he stopped being sleepy, I struggled to produce milk and he lost a lot of weight.

My advice is go treat the first few months as the last 'trimester'. Cuddle your baby, have skin to skin contact, respond to their needs (and wake them to feed!). You will not spoil your child doing this.

CrochetedOwl · 29/10/2023 08:29

Babies haven’t read any baby manuals so don’t know if they are ‘doing it wrong’
Cut yourself a lot slack.
Go out on your own with friends if you want to and stay home if you want to.
Anytime you feel you are struggling or exhausted remember you grew a human being and you are fucking awesome.
Oh and get outside when you can - even if just rocking baby to sleep in the back garden and get some fresh air

grayhairdontcare · 29/10/2023 08:31

My advice is to do whatever feels right for you & baby.
Trust your instincts and do whatever you need to do to get through the first few months.

junebirthdaygirl · 29/10/2023 08:32

Don't feel bad if the baby doesn't self settle and you end up doing all sorts to get him/ her to sleep. When baby sleeps you sleep even if it's the middle of the day and hour house is a total mess. It's all about sleep in the beginning. And if possible talk to other mom's who are being real so you are comforted by the knowledge that their baby still wakes in the night etc.

Original poster
Mumwithqs · 29/10/2023 08:33

Thanks everyone I'm taking notes.

Side note though, I'm really not looking for criticism about not breastfeeding please.

OP posts:
DilemmaDelilah · 29/10/2023 08:35

It doesn't all come naturally, but a surprising amount does. Don't stop doing things 'in case it wakes the baby'. Babies can cope very well with background noise, even quite loud background noise, so there is no need to tiptoe around. Just don't make sudden loud noises (like dropping a saucepan lid!) as that will wake them up. If you are always quiet when they are sleeping then any noise will wake them up and you will never ever be able to get anything done.

chickenpieandchips · 29/10/2023 08:35

Grizzly baby might be a tired baby.
After the first few weeks they generally need a sleep 2 hrs after waking.
My bottle warmer was a Pyrex measuring jug and stick bottle in there with hot water. Test on back of hand.
I boiled the water in the morning and kept the bottles in the fridge until I needed to add the powder (advice may be different).
Once crawling just dishwasher bottles as will be cleaner than the floor anyway!
Nappy bin was a normal bin with a scented bag emptied every day.
Never by clothes with only only poppers at the top of the back.