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Original poster

WTAF?

82 replies

WhiteLinen784 · 28/10/2023 21:43

Try to keep this short but I'm at a loss!

Background
4 children (3 with ex 14,12 and 8, 1 with husband 2)
Married since 2019
Joint business so work together cleaning holiday lets

Situation today
Cleaning a holiday let and as it's half term children have to come with us - (I'm not allowed to go alone that's another story!)

Nearly finished and dd 12 goes to the car to look for something for me, husband says she's taking too long and goes to see what she is doing taking ds 2 and dd 8 with him to get them in the car. Leaving me and dd 14 finishing off mopping.

Next thing, he comes storming in ds 2 in tears screaming mummy, tells me it's over my daughter is a cunt and storms off walking with the child.

I leave the HL, lock the car with lther children in and follow him up the village lane. He refuses to let me take ds 2 even though hes reaching and screaming for me.

He said dd 12 screamed which upset ds 2 and scared him so he slapped dd12 around the back of the head. He also said i have to choose between ds and dd and he is leaving with ds and it won't be like last time (we split i kept kids). I eventually got ds2 and calmed him as other people were around so saw ds distressed calling me.

Dd12 said he came to the car and he had a go at her, threw her around the car so she screamed so he hit her.

Finished came home. He hasn't said a word to me since.

I can't wait to leave but stuck as no family near and no support. He won't leave.

OP posts:
HomiesAlone · 28/10/2023 21:45

Glad he will be gone soon.

StSwithinsDay · 28/10/2023 21:46

Report the assault on your 12 year old to the police. For starters.

Ibravedaflood · 28/10/2023 21:48

Police now. Or you are failing your dc. All of them.

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AtrociousCircumstance · 28/10/2023 21:48

Call the police.

Original poster
WhiteLinen784 · 28/10/2023 21:48

I've asked her will she talk to the police and she said no. I didn't witness so i cant make a statement against him.

OP posts:
StSwithinsDay · 28/10/2023 21:49

She is a child. Call the police.

Coffeeandanap · 28/10/2023 21:49

You have to leave him, this is truly awful for your children.
Be strong, get away from him.
He can’t unilaterally decide he is keeping DS, it’ll likely be split custody but at least your older children will know you chose their safety and emotional security over him.
If you don’t leave your relationship with your daughter who was hit will suffer.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 28/10/2023 21:49

Call the fucking police! He assaulted your child. She needs to see you stand up for her!

Original poster
WhiteLinen784 · 28/10/2023 21:49

I have a friend in the local police and she advised me that unless my dd makes a statement they won't act upon it

OP posts:
Hibambinos · 28/10/2023 21:51

Even if they don’t act you must call them and get the incident logged.

Ibravedaflood · 28/10/2023 21:51

Report him to social services...

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 28/10/2023 21:55

Call them anyway. He told you himself that he hit her round the head.

Does DD realise that he's not going to be in her life from now? That she's not going to have to live in a house with someone she's made a police report about?

At the very least you need an official record of this, for when custody arrangements for your youngest are being decided.

AutumnFroglets · 28/10/2023 21:56

You need to report it.

The assault on your 12yr old.
The verbal abuse to you all.
Your ds2 getting caught up with the anger and witnessing the assault.

People saw you chasing him, they saw your 2yr screaming for you and him refusing to hand him over. They are witnesses to a very angry man.

Ask the police how to get an abusive and violent man out of your home so you can protect the children.

Gazelda · 28/10/2023 21:56

But reporting to the police, you're showing your DD that you have her back. You will never tolerate anyone abusing her. Even if she decides not to give a statement, she will know that you will always do whatever is necessary to protect her.

I guess you fear that he'll take the 2yo if you involve police. But he's going to attempt to do that anyway. Having a police report for violence against a child will help your case for residency and limited access for him.

You've nothing to lose by reporting it. You stand to lose your Dad's faith in you if you don't show her that he's crossed a line which there is no way back from.

Namerequired · 28/10/2023 21:59

Call the police and social services. Can your older children go stay with their dad? He assaulted your daughter and you are expecting her to stay in the same house as him? If he assaulted you would you want to be in the same house as him?

BellaAndDave · 28/10/2023 21:59

If he won’t leave I’d have the Police remove him. There’s no way in hell I’d allow a man to be in the same house who’d assaulted one of my children. That’s a safeguarding issue.

StSwithinsDay · 28/10/2023 22:03

Your children will be safer with their father. Hopefully he is not abusive too.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/10/2023 22:03

WhiteLinen784 · 28/10/2023 21:48

I've asked her will she talk to the police and she said no. I didn't witness so i cant make a statement against him.

He TOLD you he slapped her. You're a witness to him telling you.

If I knew you I would have already called the police and SS. You need to report this.

WorkCleanRepeat · 28/10/2023 22:04

I'd call the police. Even if they don't press charges the report will go in your favour when he starts being a PITA over residency of your 2 year old. Also speak to womens aid about the quickest safest way to move away from him.

Monstermunchx1000 · 28/10/2023 22:05

WorkCleanRepeat · 28/10/2023 22:04

I'd call the police. Even if they don't press charges the report will go in your favour when he starts being a PITA over residency of your 2 year old. Also speak to womens aid about the quickest safest way to move away from him.

This. He sounds vile.

AtrociousCircumstance · 28/10/2023 22:07

Call and report it anyway!

MeinKraft · 28/10/2023 22:10

WTAF haven't you rung the police?!?! Get him removed immediately! As if he would ever get to take the 2 year old after being reported to the police for beating a child!

Intriguedbythis · 28/10/2023 22:10

Call the police. Call women’s aid. Good luck and protect the kids and then yourself. He needs out with a restraining order. You’ll find another job and it will all work out.

TomatoSandwiches · 28/10/2023 22:11

It isn't negotiable op, phone and have this incident reported.

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