WTAF?

[WhiteLinen784]

Try to keep this short but I'm at a loss!

Background
4 children (3 with ex 14,12 and 8, 1 with husband 2)
Married since 2019
Joint business so work together cleaning holiday lets

Situation today
Cleaning a holiday let and as it's half term children have to come with us - (I'm not allowed to go alone that's another story!)

Nearly finished and dd 12 goes to the car to look for something for me, husband says she's taking too long and goes to see what she is doing taking ds 2 and dd 8 with him to get them in the car. Leaving me and dd 14 finishing off mopping.

Next thing, he comes storming in ds 2 in tears screaming mummy, tells me it's over my daughter is a cunt and storms off walking with the child.

I leave the HL, lock the car with lther children in and follow him up the village lane. He refuses to let me take ds 2 even though hes reaching and screaming for me.

He said dd 12 screamed which upset ds 2 and scared him so he slapped dd12 around the back of the head. He also said i have to choose between ds and dd and he is leaving with ds and it won't be like last time (we split i kept kids). I eventually got ds2 and calmed him as other people were around so saw ds distressed calling me.

Dd12 said he came to the car and he had a go at her, threw her around the car so she screamed so he hit her.

Finished came home. He hasn't said a word to me since.

I can't wait to leave but stuck as no family near and no support. He won't leave.

I remember my step dad hitting me across the back of the head .I was bending down putting plates away in a cupboard and the force of the hit sent my head in to the side of the kitchen surface..bloody hurt ..I don't think I bothered to tell my mum ,there would of been no point ,judging from other times .. thankfully he's dead now ,and she's in a home and I don't visit.
She valued him above me ,, eventually it just becomes normal and a hit here and there is part of your day ..I left home at 18 ,never went back ,had 4 kids and she has no relationship with them ,,kids are adults now and refuse to also visit her after hearing about my childhood..maybe if she had protected me she wouldn't be lonely now ,he died really young as well so she had a lot of time alone .but would never acknowledge she was a shite mum

You can make every excuse under the sun and attempt to justify your inaction by quoting advice' from police friends... but until you pick up that phone and report his assault on your child , you are failing ALL your children.

I am a civilian investigator on a police team. There is NO WAY a report such as you could make would be ignored. Not to mention the fact that a trained child safeguarder will almost certainly get corroborating evidence from your daughter.

There is no excuse for inaction and self justification for the status quo. Your responsibility as a mother requires your action NOW

A different perspective....when you're looking back in years to come, how do you want your daughter to remember how you dealt with the situation?

What steps can you take to ensure she doesn't think you failed her?

It so hard, I understand. But it's one of these situations that you cant not deal with.

We get what we put up with. Don't put up with this any longer.

@StoneWashJeansWithAMatchingJacket I'm not saying she shouldn't. I'm saying that posting for support and then having a bunch of people telling you that you must do something right now and if you don't you're a failure probably isn't that helpful right now. I hope she does report it and I hope she gets the long term support she needs to get rid of the twat for good.

My point is that comments such as 'fucking ring the police NOW and protect your kids ffs' are probably adding another layer of chaos and stress to someone whose already had a shit day.

I do hope she's been able to sleep on it, safely with her dc and that she feels strong enough to do what she needs to. I just feel like posters forget that there are real people behind these threads.

Anyone calling my 12 year old a cunt would be dead to me with immediate effect. I'm hoping this thread isn't real.

If you don’t protect your DD, the SS will take a very dim view.

Report him to the police.

Hey OP, how are things going today? Yesterday sounded dreadful for you and your kids. I hope you are able to leave or get your husband to leave.

I understand why your daughter is worried about a police report but I think reporting it at least would be the best idea. The police should have specialists in interviewing children and may be able to get her to explain what happened to them.